Making wonderful head way!!

[qUiRkY qUeEn]

Hello Everyone,

Jill and I are doing great after our last falling out!! I am starting to correct ppl that use the wrong pronouns and am trying to get my mom to respect Jill as well. She will. I know it. But in the meantime we are staying on the up and up. I know Susan's will always be here for us in trying times and I still come on here to read others post. I have begun to state "She" and "Jill" at work with no one disrespecting me our my spouse. I feel as of right now things are going to work out just fine. I have set boundaries for myself and have communicated them to my spouse openly. I have to look out for my needs as well. Hope all is well with everyone!!!!

[SarahLynn]

That's awesome! Keep up the great work!

[Felix]

Congratulations. I hope your progress continues to go well. There are supportive people here for you.

[justmeinoz]

Great to hear that things are a bit more settled.  There are really two people transitioning here, and you both have needs  that are important.  I look forward to more good news from you.

Karen.

[cynthialee]

Great to hear that things are a bit more settled.  There are really two people transitioning here, and you both have needs  that are important.  I look forward to more good news from you.

Karen.

This is so very true.

A whole family must transition to some extant when there is someone in the family transitioning.

[Ellie Ryan]

Great to hear that things are a bit more settled.  There are really two people transitioning here, and you both have needs  that are important.  I look forward to more good news from you.

Karen.

This echoes what I read in a very good book as I was preparing to marry. It was called, "The Conscious Bride." In the book, the author talked about being in a "liminal state" (which is a fancy word for threshold, but a very beautiful word I love!). She said that being engaged isn't quite single and isn't quite married but is, as Dave Matthews might sing, the space between. She also said that everyone around the bride was having to adjust from thinking of her as single woman to thinking of her as wife. Because of this book, I was able to realize that people might get upset around a wedding because of the level of change involved. We humans just aren't wired for change very well. So I came up with the idea of getting everyone involved in the wedding so that they each had their own special part. Sure it meant giving up some of my own control, but by sharing that day and giving everyone ownership in it, the whole thing went off really beautifully!

I think that this kind of dynamic can translate. For example, as Dana has started to come out to our friends, they have gotten involved in helping her build a female wardrobe and a collection of make-up. One of our friends even came over one day to show her how to apply stuff and wax her eyebrows. (Thank goodness because I have NO CLUE how make-up works! A sprinkle of glitter, and I'm done. ) Where our female friends are concerned, it's a really nice way for Dana to find some of that sisterhood energy that girls are supposed to have (I'm only so-so on this since I'm bi-gendered).

Someday, I hope to write some kind of transitional handbook to help out people moving from one gender state to another. I think there's a need for such a thing from a sort of calm and spiritual point of view, same as that book for being a bride was for me. Being mindful and supportive is the key. Sounds like you are doing that, and I wish you the best on your journey. <3

~~E

[qUiRkY qUeEn]

Thank you Ellie. I do get nervous at times with my own transition BUT I know it is for the best for my spouse. She is trying to rebuild her confidence or rather build it up period. I recall what this was like foe me growing up So i try to support her and nurture her as a delicate flower. It is pretty difficult at times but I am taking one day at a time.

Thank you everyone else for your comments. I am learning as I go.