Worst "Outing"

[Suzy]

Recently I've heard a couple of really hard stories about being unintentionally "outed."  If that has happened to you, and you feel like you can share, will you tell us about it?  I'm not just asking out of curiosity.  These are learning experiences for all of us.  So, if possible, please also share what you learned or did differently (if anything) after that.

Thanks!
Kristi

[Buffy]

I think we all have bad experiences, especially in the early days.

I had gone out many times, dressed to support meetings and shopping with my friends and thoroughly enjoyed the experiences. Two events spring to mind when things where not so enjoyable.

At my first speech therapy session, I arrived about 15 minutes early and the receptionist was intent on calling me Mr (even though I had legally changed my name), which was not a good start. The waiting room was in a general health centre and was crowded with many people included Children. One small girl (about 5 -6 I guess) looked at me and shouted at the top of her voice... "Mummy, why is that man wearing a skirt?"... Children are so perceptive and can see things through simple eyes.  There where lots of giggles and laughter in the room and I learnt that in the early days, it was best to turn up slightly late rather than become the object of public scrutiny.

Secondly, feeling confident is a wonderful thing and you can get over confident. Shortly before transition, I was invited out on a girl friends birthday. I knew 2 of the girls andthe rest did not know me. In the toilets in the bar we where in my best friend just happened to ask me a question about how I was enjoying the evening and was I OK and happy (she knew I was nervous). Shortly after leaving the toilets I was approached by a couple of guys, who wanted to know what a man , dressed as a woman was doing in the toilets. They pushed me against a wall, grabbed my cruch and fondled me. It was an humiliating situation, one that scared me beyond belief as one of the girls (a complete stranger) had heard our conversation and told her boyfriend, who hadtaken offence.

My girl friend was distraught and she realized that she had outed me and her and her friends rounded on the guys and shouted them off me. The lesson learnt that day was about the need for complete discretion and in the early days of transition to avoid places where trouble could possibly come looking for you. It was many months after that I started going out socially again with my friends.

Buffy

[Hazumu]

I don't know if this really counts, as I'm transitioning in plain sight of a medium-sized Air Force base, and it's an open secret there's a GUY that thinks HE's a Girl...

I was at Burger King for lunch.  It was my turn at the counter, and the woman at the register was inputting my semi complicated order (leave this off add that and that...)  My voice is still not as good as I like (I lack self-confidence,) but I'm standing there as the line behind me gets longer and longer.

She finishes ringing up the order and says:

"That'll be $6.42, SIR!!!" (Really, she didn't emphasize the 'sir' at all, but it sure sounded that loud to me.)

"uh...thanks"

This is probably why so many of us try for stealth, if we're able.  Those who know us 'from before' have the hardest time (for MtFs, for example,) of taking us out of the 'boy' box and sticking us in the 'girl' box.

Karen

[Cindi Jones]

I asked my HR director to be reassigned to another corporate location in another state. When pressed for a reason, I finally relented and told her of my "condition". She promptly told the plant manager (who had been pres. of our start up before it was purchased).  He was in the high council of my local Mormon church. He let them know and they promptly disfellowshipped me.  I was still wearing pants and Florsheims at the time.

Cindi