Laverne Cox
Actress, producer and transgender advocate; co-creator and star, 'TRANSform Me'
Hung Up on Our Bullies: Internalized Transphobia
Posted: 11/8/11 04:00 PM ET
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/laverne-cox/hung-up-on-our-bullies-in_b_1079271.htmlThere's a part of me that's always been envious of Jamie Clayton, who just made her acting debut on HBO's Hung, playing the transgender character Kyla. I have known Jamie for over 10 years. She was my first choice of co-stars for TRANSform Me, the makeover show I co-produced and starred in on VH1 in 2010. I know I am not supposed to talk about being envious of another trans woman publicly, but it's the truth. You see, Jamie is one of those trans women who, for as long as I've known her, has never had trouble passing as a nontrans woman. This has never been the case for me. When I began transitioning over 13 years ago, I imagined that within a few years of taking female hormones, I would easily pass as a nontrans woman and not be treated like a freak the way I had been most of my gender-nonconforming adolescence. Once I finally accepted the woman I always knew I was, I wanted the world to accept me, too.
In many ways that acceptance has happened, but to this day I can still walk down the streets of New York City and hear, "That's a man," shouted in reference to me. I have walked into subway cars and experienced groups of people bursting into laughter, yelling transphobic, harassing things at me.
