Frustrated with certain trans men

[Bishounen]

I wonder if you're talking about someone who has the initials B.A. This person seems to match your description rather well.

I agree entirely. I think that transmen are not very well represented. Not just in mainstream, but within our own communities. Now, not that there is anything wrong with preferring things that are coded "masculine", but those kinds of guys tend to be hailed within our communities. White, (can't make a coherent comment on class right now), "masculine"-oriented, straight, thin, and definitely able-bodied. Again, not that there is anything wrong with being that way, but it's a problem when a certain type of transman is taken more seriously and is well-liked and respected when guys that don't fit the mold.

It definitely made my path to self-acceptance more difficult. I'm not thin, which I'm trying to change but it is a slow process. I'm pre-T and likely will be for a while, I don't pass worth ->-bleeped-<-. I'm gentle, kind, empathetic, which can make me seem more feminine in the eyes of others. I guess what helped me become less stressed was realizing that I LIKE those qualities about myself. I don't want to change them, especially being knd and emotionally tuned in. I may be trying to lose weight (health), but I don't hate myself for being fat or think there's something "wrong" with me for not being muscular and whatnot. And I may not pass (yet), but I look in the mirror and I see a person with a lot of attractive and unique features.

It took me a while to get there though, and I'm with you - we definitely need more diverse representation.

Just curious, but how do you reckon that Buck Angel fits the description, other then him being white?
As Buck Angel is one of the least sexist people in the Community, and also one of the least prejudicul individuals, I would really like to know.
In fact, more would need to be like Buck.

Yeah yeah, I know, he is in porn, a Trans-politicaly mega-forbidden territory as it makes everyone think that all T-people are in porn, or however the "logic" goes, but if anything, in fact, he rather proves that T-people working with porn is not just sexobjects but are just like other people and can also be really bright, smart, funny and intelligent.

[Nygeel]

Just curious, but how do you reckon that Buck Angel fits the description, other then him being white?
As Buck Angel is one of the least sexist people in the Community, and also one of the least prejudicul individuals, I would really like to know.
In fact, more would need to be like Buck.

Yeah yeah, I know, he is in porn, a Trans-politicaly mega-forbidden territory as it makes everyone think that all T-people are in porn, or however the "logic" goes, but if anything, in fact, he rather proves that T-people working with porn is not just sexobjects but are just like other people and can also be really bright, smart, funny and intelligent.

No, Buck Angel is who I was talking about based on a series of tweets and discussions on tumblr.

http://moononwaters.tumblr.com/post/12653309554/something-interesting-just-happened
He said something about bottom surgery being self mutilation but went back and deleted it...some of that is quoted here...

http://environmint.tumblr.com/post/12489999013/buck-angel-buck-why-dont-you-get-a-penis

There's also his support for Dan Savage and lack of recognizeg that Savage messed up.
http://the->-bleeped-<-mentality.tumblr.com/post/12619339479/cassket-uh-buck-angel-what-the-->-bleeped-<-

And this...
http://note-a-bear.tumblr.com/post/12659822599/responding-to-buck-angel

[Bishounen]

No, Buck Angel is who I was talking about based on a series of tweets and discussions on tumblr.

http://moononwaters.tumblr.com/post/12653309554/something-interesting-just-happened
He said something about bottom surgery being self mutilation but went back and deleted it...some of that is quoted here...

http://environmint.tumblr.com/post/12489999013/buck-angel-buck-why-dont-you-get-a-penis

There's also his support for Dan Savage and lack of recognizeg that Savage messed up.
http://the->-bleeped-<-mentality.tumblr.com/post/12619339479/cassket-uh-buck-angel-what-the-<not allowed>

And this...
http://note-a-bear.tumblr.com/post/12659822599/responding-to-buck-angel

Just looks like the ordinary community-fights to me, but hardly something outrageuos.
Regarding his thoughts of surgery as "selfmutilation", I don't know how he worded it and during what circumstances he said it, but, it could easily had been him referring to how he would view such surgery being done on him, out of his own perspective on the matter.
I do know that he is very proud of his female genitals and have also repeatedly explained that he would not have them altered for anything in the World, as they are part of him, works perfectly, and, perhaps most importantly, he don't need a phallus to be a man.

So for a person with this view on surgery on the own self, it would indeed be mutilation, so to speak, but ofcourse not necasserily for others, just on him.

One of the things I had an issue with, however, when reading through the linked pages, was that people in the T-community wants to tell him how to be, in order to be a "publical frontperson of the T-community", which I find quite insulting, actually.

After all, to Buck, he is foremost Buck, not a political sockpuppet for others opinions.
Yes, I do agree that being a spokesperson also comes with a big responsibility, but I still find it very rude to try to dictate how he needs to be, act and say.

However, coming to think about it, I can actually atest that I a few times in various discussions, have found him to be a bit rude himselves, in fact. However, I do know what the cause of it is, and  it is sadly enough not anything unique amongst transpersons.
The reason is bad past-experiences with people and Humanity in general, which in time causes the individual in question to be constantly "on the edge" and lash out with sharp comments even to things that was not even meant as insulting, but things that the T-person thought was meant as such.
Very tragic, but nonetheless sadly far from anything unusual.
The only thing one can do as an bystander if viewing such crossfire, is to try and act as a sort of "interpretator" and explain the missunderstandings for those involved. It usually helps, actually.

[Nygeel]

This is what he said in one of the links i posted about a picture of somebody's bottom surgery: "they
should be hurt by the photo it is not ok to want that:) I am teaching people to love their bodies not mutilate them"

That is clearly not talking about himself.

[cynthialee]

His porn really chalenged some of my preconcieved notions.
He opened my eyes that it is possible to be trans and still have sex with ones birth gender genitals and not have that somehow disprove or invalidate your expressed gender.
There is no way I can watch that man have sex and associate what he is doing as a female sex act regardless of what his is physicaly doing.
By seeing him in 'action' it really set my mind at ease in many ways.
I even told him so and he responded that he was very happy that I was able to come to terms with my sexuality because of his porn.
I think he is cool.

[Ayden]

To share my own feelings, I think there is an image forced out there of what it means to be trans by the media. In the US at least, every news company in the country is owned by just a few mega-corporations. (Time Warner/Disney/etc.) I do not enjoy watching TV shows or movies and seeing the same portrayal of gays, lesbians, trans, Jews, and I keep going.

I don't know enough about Buck Angel to make a call on him, but I will be doing some reading after I finish here. I do know that I was equated to him when I came out to a friend and that was a little awkward. At the time I had no idea who he was. But, I think the portrayals of trans folk is hurt by the fact that a lot of us go through really rough times and we put a lot of effort into transitioing. Afterwards many of them just want to live happy, peaceful lives.

I do think that transpeople are portrayed pretty horribly, especially by some news and media companies. Those portrayals are not helped by people bickering in our community and putting eachother down.