Dont normally promote the idea of self medicating, but.............

[shelly]

...........its probably one of the best things i have done! Now dont get me wrong, wondered what the heck i was doing ordering hormone patches from a company in the middle of the pacific somewhere and when after their delivery time of 3 weeks came and passed i could of kicked myself for being so stupid. On the 22nd day however the patches turned up and as my wife applied the first patch it was like a massive weight was being lifted off my shoulders and my recent 3 months in the duldrums had came to an abrupt end. Only taking a very low dose and fully aware that as these have come from the middle of nowhere from a company i know nothing about, i could well be walking round with nothing more than a nicotine patch or cycle puncture outfit on my body, however real thing or just a placeebo the effect on my mind has be, well mind blowing, i see it rightly or not, as a way of joining both sides of me together. Read so much on here about how other andros lives have changed after starting hormones and to tell you the truth i felt quite jealous, especially at a time when i was on a right downer, not expecting miracles and dont expect this feeling of calmness and being at one with my feelings to last forever, but at the moment i feel like im bouncing off the walls and gonna enjoy it while it lasts.

[Sevan]

I started with self medicating. I was just convinced that my doctor would never prescribe to an androgyn. I was so scared to talk to him...when I finally did it was such an easy thing and all my worries were for not.
It is important to get on hormones from your dr and be monitored...but I do understand the need to self medicate, and I'm so glad your getting some relief.

[Annah]

if you feel that you must self medicate then that is your decision. However, just some things I would bring up:

1. Are you positive the patches are the real deal?
2. Are you going to get blood tests to make sure your body will accept the hormones being introduced into your body?

[Shana A]

A reminder:

8. The discussion of hormone replacement therapy(HRT) and it's medications are permitted, with the following limitations:

    A. Advocating for or against a specific medication or combinations of medications for personal gain is strictly prohibited.
    B. Discussing the means to acquire HRT medications without a prescription, and self medication without a doctors care is prohibited.
    C. Discussing dosages is strongly discouraged to prevent information obtained on this site from being used to self medicate.


We can not in good conscience condone the self administering of these medications. Not only may self medication be illegal, but HRT medications can cause serious health problems, and many have the potential for life-threatening side effects that can only be detected and prevented with proper medical supervision.

[Julie Marie]

I've been under a doctor's care for years.  But my insurance exempts "sex transferral" (and yes, that's all it says) from being covered and therefore they don't cover anything that has to do with gender transitioning.   So I pay out of pocket for my HRT meds and blood tests.

The online stuff was quite a bit cheaper so rather than buying here, I ordered my meds online.  The next blood test I had showed my cholesterol and triglycerides to be very high.  My doctor thought diet was the problem.  So he ordered me on a new diet.  I've never done diets.  I hate the idea of a diet.  I figured the spike was due to the fact that, before particular blood test, I hadn't fasted long enough.  Plus I had an Italian sausage sandwich as the last meal before taking blood.

So the next time I went in, I fasted for 22 hours.  And no, I never followed his diet.  The results came back and there was little change.  He told me I had to strictly adhere the diet he recommended.  I didn't like that idea at all.  But during the last visit I picked up my meds from him.  The next time I went back for a blood test my doctor said the results were perfect.  I hadn't changed anything in diet or exercise, only my HRT meds.

I don't know what they put in that overseas stuff, but it caused my cholesterol and trigs to spike big time.  I will never tough the stuff again.

[cynthialee]

When I started HRT I was also DIY. That first dose the moment I swallowed them it was like a literal weight lifted from my shoulders. It was like a real physical weight was lifted from me so I know exactly what you felt that first dose.

But you can not continue to DIY. It simply is not safe.

When I went to see my doctor and told him I was DIY he about hit the roof. Luckily I brought my spouse and my health care case manager. The two of them were able to calm my doctor down and we had a semi civil conversation  about my new medical needs.
We were able to talk my doctor into a 3 month prescription for HRT under the harm reduction clause. The expectation he had for me was within 3 months I had to bring him an HRT letter from a qualified mental healthal profesional.

When I was on the HRT I bought from that site we all go to I was getting some results but things were going slow. My blood tests showed a raised E level and a lowered T level but not by much. When I started the HRT that was procured from my local pharmacy, my transition imediatly went into overdrive. My T levels tanked and my E levels went up to pubecsent female levels.
The HRT one gets from these on line sites are probably products that have exceeded thier shelf life and have degraded. They just re-label the experation date and sell it anyways.
thats my theory anyways...

Find a way to get to a doctor or a trans clinic for your meds. It is safer and will be more productive.

[shelly]

Totally aware of the consequences of self medicating and i was looking at going for a routine check up with gp after 6 weeks or so just to check blood pressure etc. Think in America Androgyne is a recognised condition and treatment is available, here in the UK however your either male, female or transgender, well on the NHS that is anyway, some of you might recall my horrendous visit to see a mental health nurse, who tried to convince me i just wanted help with low self esteem and anger management. Many years ago things go too hot for me to handle and i took an overdose and this latest spell of depression had me feeling very simular to back then, of coarse i would love to be able to be doing what i am doing under medical supervision, but what hope ya got when nobody wants to listen or just wants to fob you off with rubbish when they really havent got a clue what to do with you.

Fully aware that taking unprescribed hormones could result in potentially dangerous health conditions, but standing still and doing nothing could do exactly the same, so i have nothing to lose.

[Annah]

make sure your doctor does more than check your blood pressure. Have her/him check your blood work.

[MichelleHart]

I find myself mentally screaming out to you, Shelly to find some way possible to talk to your doctor about the use of hormones.  DIY is dangerous.  I too had that placebo effect the first time I strapped on the patch and thought finally I was on the way to making myself right with the world.  It only took 8 months for that wonderful feeling to change to OH MY G**!!!! what have I done.

As Julie experienced, HRT could change cholesterol and triglycerides levels.  This by the way happens to genetic women too. 

Other side effects that could happen is Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) and Pulmonary Embolism (PE).  I know first hand all about DVT.  When I went to a doctor because of the leg swelling, as Cynthialee's doctor did, he hit the roof and started asking me if I had a death wish.  It was only after he got me hospitalized that he asked me why I even thought about doing DIY.  I explained that I didn't think I could talk to a doctor about transitioning and all he said was, "You're right you didn't think."   He did refer me over to an endo that started tests and talked to me about the proper course of treatment.  I was also advised that I couldn't start HRT again till she was sure that the DVT was resolved.  By the way, I am the first in my family to experience DVT so the doctor asking about a family history was a mute point.

I implore you to find a doctor as soon as possible.  Talk to your primary about your situation.  You might be surprised how they might find ways around the NHS rules.

[pebbles]

Glad you made a decision your happy with I don't think you will regret it assuming you take reasonable precautions.

I personally have been self medding for 1year 9 months currently.

The NHS have just been completely useless with me. And I've been waiting for YEARS. They just completely ignored me.

Overall I've spoken to 3 GP's one of them refused to do anything for me the other two, didn't really know what they were doing and following their GP instincts if they don't understand their instinct is to ignore it and refer it on.
One of the GP's sent me off to an endocrinologist who dispised transsexuals. While he scoffed at notions of perscribing me anything perfectly happy to leave me in whatever unreliable source I was getting them from. He did begrudingly give me a single blood test... The blood test did not include Estrogen or testosersone levels it only checked liver and kidney function whitch were normal. That was nearly a year ago... my current GP has no intrest in helping me in such a manner but they did refer me to the GIC who have given me an apointment for... oooh March next year whitch means I'd have been on HRT for 2 years 2 months and overall waiting for 4 years 5 months. Oh I was given my appointment back in september. I have no idea what my hormone levels are anymore than a person standing on a deck of a ship can tell you how fast the wind is blowing.

With a failed system like this I'm actually infuriated that anyone can claim that running through these absurd gates dose anything but squander years of your life in absoulte misery. I refuse to be lectured to by pepole on this board or anyone else.

I've done only what I've had to do, and I've been forced to solve my problems with no resources for a long time... I don't enjoy relying on those borderline drug dealers but if you critisize me go on give me another way out. They've done more for me than any doctor has.

[shelly]

Think the trouble with Susans is that its mainly an American site, where from what i can gather it is possible in some states  to get help with being Andro, over here in the UK however, there is no such word as Androgeyne, so therefore we dont excist. When i originally thought i was TS my GP did not have a clue what to do with me and it took an overdose from me and a rather threatening letter from my sister for him to actuall get off his behind and do a bit of research into the subject. Ive been told by mental health nurses that i just have problems with low self esteem and need to go to anger management and i just got sick to death of being fobbed off with stupid reasons as to why i feel the way i do.

Pebbles, you have summed it up perfectly what its like to be trans in this country, no body listens, cos nobody cares. I totally understand Susans policy in not promoting the use of unprescribed medicines, however when ya down and out and you come on here and read about the effect of andros taking hormones, well i wanted to feel that way too, so that is the reason i am doing what i am doing now and although its only been a fortnight i am still bouncing off the walls, my mind set is so much more balanced at the moment.

When it comes to the whole Andro feeling i could die tomorrow and on my headstone i would have either have the words "oh well at least the last 2 weeks were good" or "They reallly should of listened"

Was once taking prescribed hormones with no adverse effects and like i have already mentioned i do intend going to see my own GP after ive been on hormones for a few months just for a general check up, but even the most  basic everyday medicines come with health risks do they not?

[smooth]

I think the way androgyny is looked at is slowly changing. The powers that be, the gate keepers as some refer to them are starting to realise that some androgyne or similar people might well benefit from some HRT. If you are self medicating the thing is to start slowly and not swallow everything you can get you hands on. Do your research there's loads of info on the web but be careful of the "experts" especially the ones who haven't got a bloody clue. By all accounts as with make up sometimes less is more. One of the girls on Transexual summer (uk television programme) said that at one point she was taking so much estrogen "she almost turned into a fanny" that cracked me up and thankfully she lived to tell the tale. As shelly said All drugs have risks, check out how many people die from Asprin each year. I think I'm right in saying trans-health.com in London can do your blood tests and the doc there Richard Curtis is V knowledgeable about such things. It's private only I believe but can you put a price on your health.... I think not.
From a mental perspective you'll find out fairly quickly if hormones/AA's are right for you or not. Some people find the experience a little too.....serious and in spite of their initial euphoria they decide to stop if only for a while and possibly start again at a later date. Life's demands and possibly your wifes might swing your judgment once things start happening, be prepared for a roller coaster of a ride and be prepared kiss goodbye to your emotional stability as well

[Eva Marie]

From a mental perspective you'll find out fairly quickly if hormones/AA's are right for you or not. Some people find the experience a little too.....serious and in spite of their initial euphoria they decide to stop if only for a while and possibly start again at a later date. Life's demands and possibly your wifes might swing your judgment once things start happening, be prepared for a roller coaster of a ride and be prepared kiss goodbye to your emotional stability as well

Or, in my case i went from what you described - a roller coaster of emotions, being unable to think or focus clearly, and questionable behavior - to stability - on HRT. I wanted stability above all else and i'm putting up with the side effects of HRT to get it. And i know of several other androgyne folks that are doing the same and getting the same results too.

[jsorter]

If someone is self medicating, where can they get blood work done to see what is happening?

[smooth]

I wasn't saying that it's not a good thing for some people. I was trying to get across that it's not necessarily for everyone who thinks they need it to move on with life. I think I was referring to a different roller coaster to yours as well the emotional stability I'm referring to is the ability to hang on to them and not get emotional, ie finding yourself crying at the slightest thing and certainly in the early days finding yourself behaving like a teenager, up and down all over the place. It hasn't been described as a second puberty for nothing. Coping with a new hormone in your body, wether it's good for you or not sometimes requires a little adjustment

[Annah]

If someone is self medicating, where can they get blood work done to see what is happening?

Go to an Endo and pay for them to draw blood and look at it's numbers. If they are against HRT, then can still look at your blood and tell you if you are about to "keel over" or not.

[Annah]

When it comes to the whole Andro feeling i could die tomorrow and on my headstone i would have either have the words "oh well at least the last 2 weeks were good" or "They reallly should of listened"

It's easy to write those words down when you do not feel an immediate threat of death lingering over you. I had the same mindset as you....that I would rather die happy than to live upset. However, being diagnosed with cancer four years ago was a wakeup slap to the face of reality for me.

It's easy to say you are not afraid of death and if DIY hormones kills you then you are fine about it because you are feeling right about yourself. Wait until the doctor says what the survival rate of a particular cancer you have and those words of assumptions will come crashing down faster than a deck of cards.

Likewise, it is easy to say that you feel right as rain on DIY hormones, but you may think differently if a stroke paralyzes one half of your body and people start to stare at you funny everytime you try to speak. But it's a gamble for you and you spin the wheel hoping to win the number.

[jesse]

and that is some really sound advice and i would like to add their is no real reason for diy hormones a doc can be found unless you live in the most remote of areas most diy are afraid so i have to ask if your afraid to get treatment now what are you going to do when your chest starts to show or the other changes happen
jessi

[shelly]

and that is some really sound advice and i would like to add their is no real reason for diy hormones a doc can be found unless you live in the most remote of areas most diy are afraid so i have to ask if your afraid to get treatment now what are you going to do when your chest starts to show or the other changes happen
jessi

Do live in a very remote area Jessi....its called England!!! unless you are Transsexual then you have NO hope of getting put on hormones end of!! Started taking hormones in the hope of being able to lead a more tranquil life and although its only been 3 weeks now, so far its worked, my life has changed around totally, i can think and worry about the normal things in life, not look around feeling jealous of most women i come in contact with cos they got something i want.

It's easy to write those words down when you do not feel an immediate threat of death lingering over you. I had the same mindset as you....that I would rather die happy than to live upset. However, being diagnosed with cancer four years ago was a wakeup slap to the face of reality for me.

It's easy to say you are not afraid of death and if DIY hormones kills you then you are fine about it because you are feeling right about yourself. Wait until the doctor says what the survival rate of a particular cancer you have and those words of assumptions will come crashing down faster than a deck of cards.

Annah can only imagine how earth shattering it must feel to be told you have cancer, however i do know how low i felt when i was knocking back the paracetamols, felt like i couldnt take any more of this twin gender rubbish and just wanted out. Im 45 and not getting any younger, currently having a mid life crisis and doing the things i wish i had done when i was much younger and fitter, the things i want to do now before its too late and things start dropping off, paddled the whole length of the Thames and cycled 100 miles in a day, something i can look back at and be proud of myself doing, when you look back at life with regret. My look on life is very much living for today, cos you never know what is around the corner, so the fact that being on hormones now has made me feel so much better about myself, despite the health problems they MAY OR MAY NOT be doing. Not scared of dying either, which is quite understandable i guess when i spell times of my life wishing i was dead anyway, obviously the downside is the fact i have a wife and children so you could say i am being very selfish in my actions at the moment not knowing what the consequences could be, but thats the whole point isnt it, its a matter of what damage to my health i could be doing, rather than what i am doing, cos untill i have blood tests done i ent gonna know

From a mental perspective you'll find out fairly quickly if hormones/AA's are right for you or not. Some people find the experience a little too.....serious and in spite of their initial euphoria they decide to stop if only for a while and possibly start again at a later date. Life's demands and possibly your wifes might swing your judgment once things start happening, be prepared for a roller coaster of a ride and be prepared kiss goodbye to your emotional stability as well

Find this quite interesting, despite being an an emotional high, at one point last week i just went on a bit of a downer and found myself crying to one of my favourite songs, spell lasted for about 2 days then came right back up again, was very strange. Wife is very much the controlling factor over how long i stay on hormones, as if things down below stop working altogether, then that will be that. As for things happening as reguards to breast developement, well thats what im hoping for anyway, see myself as half male and half female and just want the body to match,only time will tell if i get it.

[Annah]

Do live in a very remote area Jessi....its called England!!! unless you are Transsexual then you have NO hope of getting put on hormones end of!!

There are 214 Endocrinologists in London alone. If you need their names and numbers I can provide them to you. There are twelve times more endocrinologists per square mile in England than in the U.S.