I...have an obscene amount of sex toys lol.
But the best harness I've used is the Spare Parts Joque. It's really easy to adjust, keep clean, and won't slip no matter how rough things get. It has an elastic O ring so it fits most dildos. It's a bit pricey (~$100) but will last quite a while with proper care.
In terms of dildos, I'm a fan of Vixen Creation's silicone dildos (I own the Mistress, Woody, and Rodeo Rick). They have lifetime guarantees, they're easy to sterilize and feel realistic (many have a firmer inner core with a more flesh like outer layer, like Rodeo Rick). These are also a little bit pricey though, between ~$30-$110 depending on the size/style/balls or no balls.
I also pretty recently bought a Share, which is like a feeldoe. Though for whatever reason I can't wear it without discomfort and it's become my partner's cock lol.
When shopping for harnesses and dildos, though, you can find cheaper alternatives. Here are some guidelines:
Harnesses- Jock-strap style (better control, less slippage)
- interchangeable or elastic O ring (allows for different dildo sizes)
- O ring and straps rest low on pelvis, to allow for more direct stimulation
- optional: assless
- optional: crotchless to allow for double-sided dildos like feeldos
- optional: pocket for bullet vibrator
Dildos- silicone is nonporous and easy to sanitize (usually dish washer safe and safe with water-based lube)
- jelly dildos are nonporous and easy to sanitize (water-based lube), but less sturdy
- novelty "life-like" dildos are often porous, and you should ALWAYS use a condom
- check for flat base for harness compatibility
- if it has balls, flat backs are most often harness compatible
- the angle is important: dildos with steeper upward angles allow it to rest lower on the pelvis which allows for more direct stimulation, but steeper angles may also make some positions more difficult.
With toys, check manufacturer instructions for care (such as storage, cleaning, and safe lubricants). Happy shopping