Okay... I have a bit of a curious question, and I'm not really sure how to approach it, so I'll just try to be blunt... forgive me if I upset or offend anyone.
My breasts are very large, triple D or triple F at last 'real' measuring. The tissue is broken down from years of wearing nothing but sports bras, and now binders (though I think it still looks like I have breasts even with my binder doubled up). I have had years, 6, of constant back pain. When it first began, it was a mystery as to why, I certiantly never thought it was because of the suckers up top, but in recent years, I've had to come to wonder if maybe that isn't it.
My mother has suggested I go to my doctor and talk to her about it. Like I said, I am in constant pain, I have several medications for the pain, and am on them constantly. My mom seems to think that I can get a breast reduction paid for by my insurance if my breasts are causing me so much pain, though I am sure there is a battery of tests I would have to go through before the company finally said... yes, they are what is causing the problem.
My sister suggested the same thing yesterday, after my first GT apointment. Why not get a breast reduction now, get rid of part of what I hate about my body, go down to maybe a B or A cup if I can, and then later, when I have the money, after I start taking T, after I come out to the rest of my family (only my sister knows I am TG right now), after I am able to financially support myself and my son, I can have the rest of my breasts removed and any other surgeries I deem necessary and needed.
Two different reasons for suggesting a breast reduction, but they both know how much dysphoria my breasts cause me on a daily basis. Which is to say that I hate them, I hate them, I hate them. I want them gone, not reduced; but, both points are valid reasons to get the reduction I think. Both would relieve my back pain, I would feel a bit better about myself because they're not so large and in charge, I would be able to pass much easier and better, and if the insurance company would pay for it... why not?
But, now, here is the condrumn... if I can get them reduced, why not just pay the extra that the insurance company won't pay for the reduction and remove them completely right now? It would make me feel even better about myself to have them gone, it would also help me to 'ease' into telling my mother about myself, show her that I am serious about it. She just thinks I hate my breasts, she doesn't really know the reasons why, and I think that if I were to tell her right now, a year before I can begin T, she wouldn't belive me. She would live in denial because there are no physical changes taking place, and I can understand that. Sometimes I feel that way myself about the situation. But, if I were to have my breasts totally removed, there isn't a whole lot she would be able to say about how I wasn't serious about changing my body to fit the mold of a male... is there?
Anyway, I want to talk to my GT about it at our next session on the 3rd, but I also wanted to have opinions of others to be able to consider and think about. Please help me, I'm really at a loss of what to do, what to say, what to think. So, yes, please?
