Transmen dating hetro guys

[beyondlabels]

In my case I would be afraid of dating heterosexual males. I've been living  with one for 9 years before I came out to myself and to him. We both love each other a lot, but he says that if I transition he would leave me. I guess the people that don't leave their partners after transition have to be bisexual or pansexual in some degree, but Who knows if the fact that you are in love with the person before makes it different? I have heard of many cases, and I still have some hope that my boyfriend could surprise himself. How can a physical appearance kill a strong love so easily?
Maybe if i had an accident and my whole body burned leaving me with a huge scar and in a wheelchair, his love would be strong enough to stay by my side, but it woudln't if I changed my gender. I can understand it but it sounds pradoxical at the same time.
And answering the question, I would prefer a partner that likes my body being male and my identity being male. I am experiencing every day that the traits of my body that he loves are precisely the ones that make me dysphoric. He loves me but not as a man. He can't see me as I see me.

[GentlemanRDP]

Well, it sounds strange to me,
But who am I to judge?
I suppose that as long as it works for them and they're both happy,
Then it's for the best. Right?

[insideontheoutside]

I married a dude. But then again he's asexual and I never planned on transitioning so to the rest of the world it looks like a regular marriage on paper. What two people choose to do and how they identify to each other I think is in the realm of "their own personal business" though. What the world sees is often very different from what's really going on.

[Felix]

My ex is hetero. We're not together but we have sex. Lately we've been spending more time together, and he seems pretty proud when people think we're a gay couple. It adds to his liberal cred or something. He said he tried to be gay or bisexual for years, and just couldn't manage to get it up for a man.

So yeah. He's gynephilic, but I'm more masculine than he is, and our gender roles were always blurry. And he wants to be seen as very open and wordly.

In a sense, I feed into his affectations, but I also have fun and give him experience.

Things get into grey areas, you know?

[Prince Larien]

I'd say if he had been on T for a while, it will be safe to say he is seen as a man by his fiance. Also, surely your friend would have some pretty bad dysphoria and would know some of the signs of not being seen as the man he is.

He isn't on T and has never been on T. They've denied him T because of his relationship...

[Felix]

He isn't on T and has never been on T. They've denied him T because of his relationship...

In a "civilized" country? My gosh that's mean and unfair. I'd get denied by those standards, and anybody who's ever known me can vouch for my gender (whether they like it or not). Stuff happens. Sexual attraction needs to stop being a legal barometer for who we are as people. Socially or culturally that's fine, but legally that's a ridiculous way to categorize.

[sonopoly]

I think you should make the poll more specific to help people as in:
would you date:
Lesbians Yes
No
Hetero males Yes
No

So that people can differentiate.

[Prince Larien]

They discriminated against him because he's gay? That's terrible.

Not because he is gay, because his fiancé is heterosexual. Their not homophobic, they know I'm gay and are not denying me.

Sexuality is a confusing thing. Like for my boyfriend, he said thought he was straight before he met me. He didn't know I was trans until a month into our relationship when I finally told him, but after that he still thought he was gay!

Sorry if you do find poll specific

[Finn642]

I always considered myself hetero until i dated a female who later told me she liked to crossdress as a man and be treated as male on occasion, which eventually became being treated as male in sexual situations. I enjoy it, i guess i'm bi now? I dunno labels are strange things I don't really think about it much I just like what I like. I discovered a part of myself that enjoys male on male love thats all. everyones different and I don't think we can all just be put into groups and expected to 100% follow umbrella concepts that define the "group" we've been put in.