naming! and related issues

[Felix]

I think I hit a milestone today. Someone called me and asked for <female legal name>, and I totally drew a blank. It took me a few seconds to figure out who the lady was looking for. Lol. That has to be progress. Things are getting better.

I can't change my legal name yet, so I expect these weird problems will continue. Most medical places can add an alias to the computer system, and most non-medical places don't care what your legal name is, but problems pop up now and again.

If anyone else is going through a slow transition, how do you deal with the name issue?

[Adio]

It took me 6 years to change my name from when I came out and started to transition.  I had been "full-time" for a little over a year and been on T for 6 months.  Everywhere that would let me, I used my nickname.  Otherwise I just pronounced my given name in a unisex way.

Sorry, I don't have much advice.  I've just been in a similar situation, and I know that it can really suck at times.  Especially when you get so used to hearing your chosen name and then someone calls you by your legal name...it can be very confusing.

[GentlemanRDP]

I don't really have any advice either.

But I don't imagine that my name change will be legal for quite a while - I'd like to change it before the end of next year, but we'll see.

So for now, I use my chosen name whenever I can; in public, with friends, with family, on the phone, at school (At the beginning of every semester, I go to my teachers and tell them that I hate my given name and go by something else, They are always very accomodating, probably because my birth name is atrocious and embarrassing xD) At work, I still go by my birth-name, but I plan on changing my name-tag soon, because I keep getting called a 'young man,' by the customers and it's starting to cause confusion between my co-workers (The customers will refer to me as the 'young man' at the registers, and my co-workers look over and see me...who they think of as a female,) It's actually quite funny if you ask me. Wow, this is turning into a rant.

But yeah, I think that's about all we can do, is to just use our chosen names where the legal issues won't get involved or cause troubles.

[Felix]

6 years is a long time.

Changing a name where I am costs $150, and all you have to do is fill out a form, have it posted "publicly" (which is on the wall in a little room in a government building), and then show up in court for the judge to sign off on it. That's not an insurmountable barrier, but it would only be the beginning of the work. And things are a little delicate in my case, what with the kid and her special needs status, and food stamps, and possible custody issues etc.

GentlemanRDP, have you thought about just coming out to your coworkers? Miniar's experience might be interesting to you, even though it isn't really from a workplace. https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,108551.0/topicseen.html
I can't count how many times it turned out to go so much better than expected for me, too.

[GentlemanRDP]

Well, I've thought about it, Felix, and a few of them know. My boss and about... four or five of my coworkers. But it wasn't until about two or three weeks that I've been getting called a male one to five times a day. It just sort of snuck up on me, I don't even think I pass yet xD Right now, I'm just unsure of how to do it, and I'm just trying to be cautious. Some of the people that I work with are religious whackos (To the very scary and creepy extent) and there are a few people that I wouldn't be surprised if they beat the ->-bleeped-<- out of me if I came out. So I guess by coming out slowly to people that I know I can trust, I'm...trying to build a safety net or something? o.O; I don't really know. I'll be coming out sooner or later, since everyone thinks that I've been sick for six months, and the facial hair is pretty prominent...but the way to go about it, I struggle with it.

Thanks for the link though, I appreciate being able to have read that!

[Felix]

Well, I've thought about it, Felix, and a few of them know. My boss and about... four or five of my coworkers. But it wasn't until about two or three weeks that I've been getting called a male one to five times a day. It just sort of snuck up on me, I don't even think I pass yet xD Right now, I'm just unsure of how to do it, and I'm just trying to be cautious. Some of the people that I work with are religious whackos (To the very scary and creepy extent) and there are a few people that I wouldn't be surprised if they beat the ->-bleeped-<- out of me if I came out. So I guess by coming out slowly to people that I know I can trust, I'm...trying to build a safety net or something? o.O; I don't really know. I'll be coming out sooner or later, since everyone thinks that I've been sick for six months, and the facial hair is pretty prominent...but the way to go about it, I struggle with it.

Thanks for the link though, I appreciate being able to have read that!

That's actually pretty smart. With gradual change and a buildup of people who know and are casual about it, it might be a lot easier to handle yourself in the face of any questions or challenges that arise when you do come out at work. And I understand about not realizing how much you've evolved and having passing more sneak up on you. Congratulations on that.

[Felix]

I find myself being a little weird about finding my old name on old things, too. At the moment I'm using a flathead screwdriver to scrape a nametag sticker out of an old school folder.