Threatened and Verbally assaulted.

[bubbles21]

So.... it was about 4 nights ago that I was invited out with a few of my gal pals to drinks and dinner. On this occasion I was threatened and verbally assaulted by a guy who was very nasty and rude and was talking about me to another guy who Is normally in my group of friends. I felt hurt, disgusted and felt why the hell am i putting myself through this?  This was the first time something like this had happened since transitioning. This guy is the son of 1 of my mothers friends. The next day I had an appointment which I didnt attend because I felt depressed, hurt and fearful of what might happen if I left the house. My rescheduled appointment is tomorrow and  have decided that no one will stop me from being me and I have nothing to prove to nobody. Some of you may say why didnt I call the police? well i was lucky enough to have some friends with me who said something before i could even think about saying something haha. I jut wanted to share this story because some people can be so so so cruel and not realise how much harm their hatred or phobia can cause one person. If you have been in a position like this then what did you do to ensure your safety and how did you handle yourself in this situation?

[immortal gypsy]

Oh the joys of small town living where everyone knows your name. Good for you getting back on your bike and not letting him get to you.

Still presenting andro at the moment but apart from my work uniform I don't think i have much male clothing.  How do I cope. I've worked bar and gaming for over 10yrs. You want to see a fight coming before it starts both at you whether your male or female and both for your patrons safety.  This means I'm highly cautious of others, and have learnt to read situations.  Also when you're know to security why argue back when they can finish it for you.

I've copped more grief from friends then strangers and those people get to see the full force of my lungs anytime any place. Nine times out of ten they are more embarrassed by me causing a scene more then anything so either way I win

[TabbytheDruid]

Carry some self defense item, check your local laws of course so you don't get yourself into trouble. Mace is super cheep and it hurts/chokes you up so badly. Wash them down and get the poop out of there. There are also tazers (sp), knives, you could even get a small firearm in some places. This kid in my town of less than 20,000 people got knocked unconscious when he was walking down an alley, robbed, stabbed in the back once and left there. Be prepared ladies and gents! I recommend enrolling in self defense classes where they teach you how to disarm people and get out of grapples. It's quite lame that in this day and age we still must resort to violence and can't just debate in a non derogatory manor and be more adaptive to the needs of others. We'll get there someday, we're moving at a glacial pace it seems sometimes but with persistence we'll get there. What's that one quote? "Anything worth having is worth fighting for." or something like that?

[Monika1223]

I would call the police and make a big deal ask my lawyer what I should do.
Call the news tell them who he is ask them if they can go to his house.

[Felix]

I feel like this is really normal for everyone except straight white cismales. You were smart not to call the police. You have to figure out ways to be safe and keep your dignity.

I don't have any advice about how to stay okay. My approach was usually to keep a low profile and accept a certain level of tolerable violence and abuse. If you are powerful enough to do better then by all means be louder, of course.