transgender question

[help4me]

hi..i have been married to my husband for nearly 9 years. he goes through bouts of going to his true form of womanhood...i have been fine with that, and my daughter has gotten used to it, though she is not a fan. we have a 2 year old, who isnt phased..
my question lies in==when i went to a therapist and told her about switching back and forth was not a "normal" transgender person...
so since then i have been confused...
she is so depressed and mean when she forces herself to be a man....this goes on for a few months or a couple then he goes back...
its not only stressing on him, but on me too..
i am not selfish at all, and back her or him whatever is chosen...but there are things she says that alarm me horridly...sometimes there is mention of removing his testis..no, i cant allow that done here in an unsterile setting and so many things can happen...i told him if he tried that i would leave.i have no problem with him going through therapy and stuff to make the transition, but i can not imagine it going in a good direction.
i really need help here...
first is the is she truly transgender? for i have read that many people turn to being their true self instead of dealing with reality of things..like when he does not work he feels like less of a man or something so he turns to being her...that therapist messed up my head saying stuff like that...
i also need help to convince her otherwise of trying this horrid attempt...what do i do? there is only one person in the world i have told and that is his niece...
i am lost and need someone to help me...i know i need to help her/him as well...but with our kids im just at a loss...please help, if you do not know the answer can  you send me in the right direction?
thanks!

[envie]

Welcome help4me,

I am so sorry you are in such a stressful situation!
your partner needs a counselor urgently and it needs to be one with LGBT experience.
You mentioned your are going to counseling too, which is good but make sure your counselor is well informed about LGBT issues.
If she is making doubtful statements seek different opinion! Some counselors just believe they know what is going on as oppose to really knowing what is going on.

It sounds like your spouse might be doing "binge and purge" with the gender identity as s/he is feeling uncomfortable with the state s/he is in.
Doing the "binge and purge" is fairly common and normal occurrence among the transgender folks who are struggling with their gender identity dysphoria.
Sometimes they go buy all ladies clothes just to through them away  few month later and do it all over again.

If your spouse goes through transition with the accompany of a good counselor I fell positive about you two as you seem very supportive.
But I am just afraid your counselor might not be equipped to deal with transgender issues.

And removing testicles on your own is a BAD Idea which you know already.
there is a selection in this forum called "significant others" that you could be posting future posts in as well. There you might be able to find the SO whom you can share your thoughts with. And of course looking into any other section of the forum might help you too but there are no counselors here, just people who have been affected in some away with the gender issues.
good luck to you!

[help4me]

evie, i super appreciate the info you gave me. i have requested to join the spousal group and have been chatting this morning and i do not feel so alone in this...
many thanks and blessings to you and your family!