Dealing with the hard stuff

[mowdan6]

I just found out today, that my uncle passed away.  This was an uncle that I lived with for 3 years while at college.  He was like a dad to me.  In my 3 years there, I never heard him raise his voice in anger...he was one of those..happy people....and he always made me feel like a part of the family.  I have such great memories of those times.   I am not welcome to the funeral.  There is only a small part of the family that welcomes me.  I have been trying to find a way to tell that small percentage that ....I would love to attend.....but the way this family is, they would be looking at my stuff instead of paying homage to this wonderful man.  A man that, if I can be half, of what he was, I will have been somebody. 

[JenJen2011]

I'm so sorry for your lost. May he RIP.

[Lone Cypress]

I felt the same way about my uncle, and I miss him dearly. He passed before I could transition, and he always believed I would do big things in life (I wonder if this would qualify?).

I feel your pain, I really do.

[Kreuzfidel]

I'm so sorry for your loss - he sounds like he was a great man.  It's unfortunate that you're not welcome at the funeral.  Is it that you are afraid you'll be treated badly if you go or have you actually been told you're not welcome?  In reality, you have a good point that the day is about honouring your uncle, but it's sad that you can't share in that, too.  Just remember that funerals are ceremonies for the benefit of those left behind.  Knowing this, there's no reason you can't do something on your own to help bring you peace and honour your uncle.  You can write a letter to him and burn it, symbolically transforming the words into energy.  You can plant a tree or a rose bush.  I know it's not the same as being able to say goodbye to his earthly form at the funeral, but whatever you do I believe he will hear it, see it and appreciate it just the same.