Today I talked to a 'friend' about my love life. I've been madly in love with a guy for 1,5 year. He's muslim and our relationship has always been secret, which I always hated. The friend I talked to is muslim too. I'm not. At first she couldn't believe that a muslim guy would be with me, but in the end she believed it.
This relationship with him will never really work out, simply because I am trans. I know that and it just kills me. For him it's just about the sex (gotta admit that it's the best sex ever..). He drives 3 hours to see me, which seems crazy to me if you don't love someone, but hey, guys... He visits me at least twice a month and always spends the night. We always have such a great time together. When I first met him I didn't pass really well, but I pass pretty well now.. Much better than I ever though I would. I always said to myself that things would get better. Well, things got a lot better, but our relationship is still secret. It hurts.
I know I should either stop seeing him or stop being in love with him because this way it just hurts too much. I talked to my friend about it today and I told her that I might as well stop seeing him now because in the end he will marry a muslim woman anyway. She responded with a very nasty and cynical tone: 'what did you expect? that he'd stay with YOU?'
Am I just scum in her eyes? Because that's how she made me feel.. Especially the way she said it. It made me feel so bad that I just wanted to leave, which I did as soon as possible. Why did she have to be so mean? I have feelings too? Or is she just jealous?
She's not really a religious person. She doesn't wear a hijab, doesn't pray, etc. so I don't think that she's bothered by the fact that he is muslim and I'm not? Or maybe she is bothered because he is moslim and I'm not AND I'm trans?
How would you respond if this was said to you?
