Telling a Doctor

[Dane]

So tomorrow morning I'm gonna go to a doctor to get my annual check up, and get a referral for a therapist who knows about GID and stuff. When I came out to my Mom like two weeks ago, she made an appointment so I would go after my baby sister on the same day. My question is, how do I go about telling my doctor? This is my first time ever seeing her, because we switched from our old doctor of like 5 years to this new lady. Any advice?

[Berger]

When I came out to my doctor, I just told him that I was questioning my gender identity and wanted to see a therapist about it. He was really cool about it and wasn't very surprised, and was actually quite happy that I finally told him and was very encouraging-which was completely unexpected coming from a military doctor.
Of course, that conversation went more like:
Berger: Well, I've been questioning my-
Doctor: Sexuality?
Berger: Well, gender actually.
Doctor: (Didn't say it but probably was thinking "I was so close!")

[MaxAloysius]

If you're young, I'd recommend being careful how you word things. I was very straightforward when I told my GP that I was trans, and always spoke like I knew what I wanted and I was certain, and she still treated me like I didn't really know what I was talking about because I was so young. So I'd be careful to sidestep around saying things like 'I think', 'I'm questioning' and 'I'm probably'; because you don't want to give them more of a reason to withhold treatment. But that's just my personal experience.

Most of all, remember that if this doctor doesn't respect you or treat you as you should be treated, you don't have to sit there and take it; there are plenty more doctors you could see.

[AndrewL]

I'll second the vote of going in confident. When I told my GP I said "I'm transexual, I need help to transition". She then admitted she had no experience working with someone who was trans, but was open to education.

I'm finding the longer I transition the more I need to be my own health advocate. It's helpful to be familiar with the standards of care, and how well you meet the criteria if for no other reason than it can help you appear knowledgeable/persuasive. I was able to convince my new gynecologist to schedule for a hysterectomy in Jan after less than six months on T since I could prove how I met all levels of the standards of care.

Be prepared for anything. I have yet to meet a doctor that was truly biased, but they do exist. Know your options if they are derogatory or try and dismiss you due to your age. Also be prepared for acceptance. One thing I've found every time I've come out, and I've come out as everything in the LGBTQA shortened alphabet, is that there are people that will accept you without question and those who will ask questions to help them accept. Not all coming out processes end in tragedy.

I hope your appointment goes well and good luck on your journey!

[Kyle_S]

Good Luck, Bradd! I hope it goes well:)  I'm going to talk to my family doctor soon for referral as well.
I agree with brushing up on the standards of care. Version 7 is 2011.

[Felix]

Hey good luck. I've told quite a few new doctors lately (I've had some recent non-trans-related surgeries, and my insurance status keeps changing, etc), and the first two I told reacted very differently. My primary care doc I went in and just said casually - more casually than I felt - "hey, I'm transgendered, you don't have a problem with that, do you?" and he was totally cool. Within a few appointments he did admit that he felt way out of his league, and he referred me to one of his colleagues for hormone management (and to a mental health agency for antidepressant management), but he was never disrespectful or indifferent.

The other doctor I told was when I wasn't really out yet, but I figured she'd be safe to tell because she was a gynecologist, and they have to know more about gender and genital mismatch than anybody, right? Lol I was so wrong. The things she said left me feeling invalidated as a human, and I cried all afternoon.

Again, good luck. Be steady in yourself whether they treat you right or not.

[mm]

Ameline, how were you able to get a hysterectomy so easy? How old are you; do you have any medical reason for one?  This must be a real trans friends GYN.

[JohnAlex]

I actually switched my primary doctor to a doctor who I knew was knowledgeable about trans issues, I didn't even tell my primary doctor I was switching.  And then I told my new doctor in an email that I was trans and was looking into getting on hormones, and asked what she required, that way I wouldn't have to waste an appointment.  I found her by google searching.  I also found my therapist that way, but I also checked with my doctor first to make sure she would accept a letter from this therapist.