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How would you define being a crossdresser?

Started by Kristin, December 04, 2011, 05:18:56 AM

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Kristin

So, you reading this, are reading the Crossdresser talk section. What does that label mean for you?

I'm feeling around, trying to figure out my gender identity, and while I think I lean more towards trans, one of my worries is that I have a false image of what it is to be a crossdresser and that I'm avoiding that label because of what it means to me instead of what it is.

So: What does crossdresser mean to you, as somebody who considers that to apply to you? What do you do that fits that label? How does it relate to who you are?

The label stuff is confusing, as is trying to figure out what I want to do about the way I feel. So this is another small part of trying to figure it out for myself.
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JulieC.

This definition applies to me alone.  It's how I view myself.  I'm transgender.  In my mind and heart a women but biologically a male.  Cross dressing is what I do to feel more feminine.



"Happiness is not something ready made.  It comes from your own actions" - Dalai Lama
"It always seem impossible until it's done." - Nelson Mandela
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supremecatoverlord

I think cross-dressing can be pretty vague, because it usually implies someone sporting the clothes of gender role they are more than aware they don't fit into...and sometimes it doesn't. I feel like people who cross-dress may have a lot less in common with people who are gender dysphoric, because the transition usually happens for similar reasons; people don't always cross-dress to fulfill a common purpose, if you know what I mean. As for me, I dress the way I do not because I feel like I'm wearing the clothes of that are associated with men and that gets my arouse or something; I don't think it's fun either - it just feels right to me. Still, it is somehow more acceptable for females that don't pass as male to wear clothing of the opposite sex than it is for males who don't pass as females. By society's standards, I am technically cross-dressing because I was born a bio-female, but which clothes go what gender is really something totally made up by humankind anyway. For instance, the color pink that girls seem to love so much these days used to be associated with men prior to the 19th century, because it indicated "vibrance" and "vitality". Blue was more of a "calm" and "quiet" colors so it was attributed to females. Basically, what screams female or male now might not in a few decades, especially with how fast ideas spread because of technology. I think people should just wear whatever they want - as long as it makes you happy, that's what matters in the long run, right? Just try to be the best person you can be, whoever you are. :3
Meow.



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Sweet Blue Girl

I feel lost in both words, crossdresser and transgender! I have fear because I see crossdressing as something incomplete, it is just dressing to me ( i crossdress when i dress as a male ) , and transgender is just a definition that someone links to easy sex or fetish ( i am just a woman !).

I have found that one of my major problems is continuously doing things in search of a definition of myself and asking me if the things I do relate to my self-definition. I guess that definitions don't count so much, it's just a psichological limit I have!!! I want to learn to be more free!
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Kristin

Yeah...

I think that, when I hear the word, a crossdresser: that refers to something a person does. And while it's true that we actively choose what clothes to wear, I think that for me...there's more than just what I do, there's also who I am.

I think some of this wondering is from looking around wondering if I'm "not dysphoric enough" to be trans. (Of course, usually, if I start thinking that, within a day, I'm a mess.) And also wondering whether I've set trans-ness up as a "justification" to wear the clothes I'd like to wear.

Before I spiral into the worries about transition (since it's still dark here and I've been awake for hours), maybe I'll stop my rambling thoughts here.
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Jean510TV

I find this to be a very interesting post. I started my venture, many years back, as a ->-bleeped-<- and as I grew older I found out I was just a basic cross dresser. Even though I am in the closet due to the wife, I am very happy being a cross dresser. I agree with JulieC "Cross dressing is what I do to feel more feminine."

Hugs,

Jean
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annette

Everyone should do where he or she is feeling most comfortable with.
I think it's a way to escape from daily stressy life, to become someone else for a while, to feel good for a while.
It's a shame that crossdressing most of the time is done in a hidden way.
After all, a crossdresser isn't hurting anyone, but they also have to deal with judgements.
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Louise

I identify myself as a crossdresser.  For me, crossdressing is what I do when I wear a skirt and makeup.  Why I do this and what it says about my inner nature is much more complicated.  There are many reasons why biological males wear women's clothing and why biological females wear men's clothing.  We who crossdress may not know why we do it and we may do it for different reasons at different times.  I can only speak for myself.  I have been crossdressing for most of my 60+ years, sometimes more frequently sometimes less.  All I can say is that for me it helps me to feel more feminine.  I describe myself as androgynous and I express this at different times in different ways.  Clothing is one of those ways, but it is not the only one.

I haven't posted much lately, but I have been a member of Susan's for over ten years and enjoy reading the posts.   Attempts at definition sometimes erupt into flame wars.  I hope that is not the case with this thread.

Louise
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Kristin

Quote from: Louise on December 09, 2011, 01:17:07 PM
I haven't posted much lately, but I have been a member of Susan's for over ten years and enjoy reading the posts.   Attempts at definition sometimes erupt into flame wars.  I hope that is not the case with this thread.

Louise

I share that hope. I'm not looking for "the answer" to what crossdressing is. I'm more interested in how people who see the term as fitting them, how they see themselves in it. And I've been pleased with the responses and I think they're helping me figure out that the label isn't how I see myself.

Thank you all for sharing.
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