Need work advice

[James42]

Ok so I haven't had my legal name change yet, because things got screwed up during my move, but luckily I found a way to change the pronunciation of my birth name to sound male and so thats what I use at work, and it seems to work well with everyone I work with, and I'm seen as male at work so I'm not out at all. Then, last week my uncle (who is a team lead/supervisor in the company) told me that somehow they found out about my "female" status, because the 2nd shift supervisor (I work 3rd shift) called him and brought it to his attention. He said that there were rumors going around, but pretty much within the 2nd shift crew. The 2nd shift supervisor said its not a problem, he'll have my back, but they just weren't sure about the situation. So my uncle told him that he'd have to talk to me about it because my uncle isn't gonna tell my business. Then my uncle advised me to at least talk to my shift supervisor and let her know whats up, and that they'll keep it in confidentiality.

I'm really considering talking to my supervisor, but I'm thinking hard about how I'm going to explain it, and of course I know its gonna be awkward. Now my situation I'm stuck at, is that when I do get my name legally changed, I haven't planned on going with the name I go by at work..which is Elijah, just spelled different because of my birthname. So of course all my information at work is gonna have to change to my new name, but idk what to tell coworkers when my name is changed to Adam, because thats the name I chose and I don't wanna go by "Elijah" at work and Adam everywhere else, cuz that would be confusing as hell to people. So any advice on what I should tell people..IF i should tell people, or just let them keep calling me "Elijah"? not to mention we already have an adam at work

[James42]

Just to throw this in...I think the rumors started because of my birthname, since it looks like a girl name but i pronounce it as a male name. So when I clock in, people waiting in line (which usually are 2nd shifters clocking out) can see my name on the screen, and so they see a "female" name since they really don't know me and might not know its pronounced "Elijah". And since the bathrooms are right next to the clock in area, I usually go in right after and of course I use the mens room...so I can see where the confusion might come in.

"Ok...they have a girl name...but they're going into the men's room..so is that a butch girl trying to use the mens room?"

I don't know if thats how they found out or how the rumors started, but I can't think of anything else that woulda outted me since I pass 100% on looks and voice, and since they don't even see me long enough to check for anything female on me

[ForWantOf]

That's a really tough situation you're in. I think you should definitely talk to your supervisor and just lay it down flat for her. "I'm transgender, I'm somewhat early in my transition so my name has not been legally changed, but I didn't want anyone addressing me as my female name so I went with Elijah."

I don't really think she'd have much to say about this, other than just being okay with it and like you said, keeping it confidential.
If anyone else asks about the whole Adam thing, if you wanted to you could say Elijah is your middle name, but I'm not sure if you already have a name picked out. But I think that's a good fallback plan if someone were to ask about your name, which I'm not even sure if they would?

People have some really weird names, you know, my brother works with a guy named Rainy lol.
If you pass 100% I think they'd just assume your name has a unique spelling, and forget the rumors. If someone has a problem with it, or is truly curious, they'll ask you instead of gossiping.