relationships

[anibioman]

i am wondering when the right time to tell a girl i trans is. all the other girls i have dated or hooked up with new me before and knew i was trans. today i was at a gay thing its a weekly event for LGBT people and alies.

so my friend introduced me to her friend as parker the trans guy (not in front of her.) however she never picked up on me being trans although she asked questions eluding to it that i answered vaguely because i like to see how people treat me before knowing im trans also to see if she could figure it out. a girl asked me if was a girl or a guy so i responded guy and she apologized and told me that it was just that my voice is high and a bit fem.

we got on the subject of gender and the gender spectrum and she said that she wouldnt date a girl or mtf because she is straight she said she doesnt know if she would date an ftm because she hasnt met many and hasnt met any she had a crush on. not knowing that she had a crush on one at the moment and was flirting with him, me.

so idk when to tell her especially because you cant exactly tell people that via text. so ill have to tell her in at least a week. so idk when or how too tell her.

[Natkat]

before your getting to close as her trying to touch you.
and before you go all to personal so you feel like lying of every part of you.

[Kyle_S]

anibioman,

Maybe you could give her a little bit more of a chance to get to know you. So she can really see you as yourself- a guy, first and foremost.
I can understand that you want to tell her really soon, so that she knows (comfort for you, that you aren't "misleading" her or something?) Cause I might do the same thing out of panic in the same situation.
But telling her automatically like that, given what she said about transguys might make her indifferent towards you, which wouldn't allow for her to think of you as a potential parner or even just as a reg. male friend.
Maybe if you wait a bit, and get to know each other, you can broach the subject again lightly like "You know how you were saying you hadn't met many ftms?" or something...
We all know there's more to a person than bio-sex. The brain is what makes us, us. We just have to let people see it.

Either way you do it, I hope it works well for you

[supremecatoverlord]

I am in a similar situation right now, except I basically pass at this point, even with my voice.
Before we actually met up, I initially though she knew I was FTM, because she asked what gender pronouns I preferred. I said "he and him". This is a pretty common question in the area I'm in though, so I'm not entirely sure; she never asks me about my gender identity (people always have from my personal experience) and there are a couple of occasions where she talks to me as I'm a cis-male. Granted, my demeanor is pretty masculine, but I dunno.
    I'm already past the point of hooking up with this girl and from what I can tell, she is really open-minded, but I'm still not sure if she knows and if she doesn't that telling her would drastically change what she thought of me. The worst part is that if she does already know bringing it up is kind of awkward for me, but she sends mixed signals, so I think I'm going to do have to just so there are no weird surprises. Yay.

[Felix]

I worry about this too. For some reason I'm a lot more comfortable telling guys (and it does scare them off sometimes). I'm not sure whether I like girls or not, but I'm experimenting. I really enjoy being treated as fully male. I'm sad when I think about how things may change when I mention my trans status.

There are a couple of girls I'm talking to on okcupid (one of them I'd actually seen around irl before), and lol I have no earthly clue what I'm doing. One of them knows and is cool with it, and the other one seems like she will be too, but I'm just avoiding contact with her rather than facing the fact that I have to figure out how I'm going to deal with this.