I have ->-bleeped-<-. Is 20 too late to pass *attractively*? (pics)

[Ultimus]

Well I don't think I'm going to transition anymore.

With every decision in life, there are costs and benefits.

My family is the most important thing in the world to me, and we are much much closer than the average family. For example, I hug and kiss my mom and sisters every day and tell them I love them. Last night, my mom was in the bed mentally sick from the thought of me transitioning. We almost had to call a doctor. She said only hope she has is that I keep on fighting this problem or else she couldn't go on. Without using hyperbole, if I were to transition, my mom would end up in a mental institution or dead.

It would be very selfish to transition and destroy my family.

I think my ->-bleeped-<- is only sexual. I don't feel like a girl trapped in a guy's body. I don't want to be a girl socially or for any other reason besides sexual ones. I need to find some sort of balance in my life where I can be fulfilled and satisfied sexually, but still have the benefits of being a man. Like it feels so good to wear girl's clothes, makeup, and fantasize about being a girl.

[Jen61]

I can't forget you have six kids and you once presented as their "dad".

Neither I, I am and always will be their DAD. My kids are the best thing ever happen to me. I am deeply honor G-d trust me with the lives of six kids.

I would not change my kids for anything, even for a gold-lined vagina.

But is this the best you can do to debate me, bring my kids into the arena ?

I expected better from an alpha (fe)male

BTW we are talking about gender not sexuality. This is not about gays !

[Mahsa Tezani]

Neither I, I am and always will be their DAD. My kids are the best thing ever happen to me. I am deeply honor G-d trust me with the lives of six kids.

I would not change my kids for anything, even for a gold-lined vagina.

But is this the best you can do to debate me, bring my kids into the arena ?

I expected better from an alpha (fe)male

BTW we are talking about gender not sexuality. This is not about gays !

Glad you admit that. Cuz it's true. Before you start attacking TG women who performer and do 'drag"...you need to realize that they could easily say the same about you. Who for all I know, presented successfully as a normal heterosexual male at one time.

because before you throw rocks you need to make sure that you're glass house isn't showing or some crap.

Everyone has different paths to feminininity. I don't care what Jtinidalte does really...Just offering him alternatives to transition. Furthermore, people have different lifestyle choices doesn't make any choice right or wrong.

I have a huge crush on a Genetic girl now and have been thinking about her non stop... Oh my god...I betrayed my gay maleness or whatever. Identity is fluid and people change over time.

[Nero]

Jdinatale,

Do a Google image search of: "typical DQ," then do the same but with "typical transsexual woman."

Notice the difference?

I did that search, and only got images of banana splits. Not a drag diva in sight. 

[A_Dresden_Doll]

Well I don't think I'm going to transition anymore.

With every decision in life, there are costs and benefits.

My family is the most important thing in the world to me, and we are much much closer than the average family. For example, I hug and kiss my mom and sisters every day and tell them I love them. Last night, my mom was in the bed mentally sick from the thought of me transitioning. We almost had to call a doctor. She said only hope she has is that I keep on fighting this problem or else she couldn't go on. Without using hyperbole, if I were to transition, my mom would end up in a mental institution or dead.

It would be very selfish to transition and destroy my family.

I think my ->-bleeped-<- is only sexual. I don't feel like a girl trapped in a guy's body. I don't want to be a girl socially or for any other reason besides sexual ones. I need to find some sort of balance in my life where I can be fulfilled and satisfied sexually, but still have the benefits of being a man. Like it feels so good to wear girl's clothes, makeup, and fantasize about being a girl.

This seems contrary to what you told me over FB. If I had to make a guess, it sounds like you get to a point where you want to do something about this, then purge the idea because of guilt. You can make a million reasons why not to do this. Anyone can about anything. That therapist I told you about, I would highly suggest you seek him out. It does not matter if you transition, but you need to make up your mind with the right information and tools. Seek those out. Your family, especially your mom, should do the same. Your mom is only afraid of something bad happening to you. She is handling it very poorly, but no one is perfect.

And to everyone else, can we PLEASE get off what makes a trans woman a trans woman. I'll tell you who decides that, the person in question. It doesn't matter how we got to this point, only that we did, and we are better of than we were. PERIOD.

[Jeneva]

My family is the most important thing in the world to me, and we are much much closer than the average family. For example, I hug and kiss my mom and sisters every day and tell them I love them. Last night, my mom was in the bed mentally sick from the thought of me transitioning. We almost had to call a doctor. She said only hope she has is that I keep on fighting this problem or else she couldn't go on. Without using hyperbole, if I were to transition, my mom would end up in a mental institution or dead.

It would be very selfish to transition and destroy my family.

If you don't feel you need to transition then don't.

But please at least speak to a general therapist.  Letting others have that kind of power over you can be very damaging to you long term.  Her statement is a HUGE red flag and totally out of place in a true loving relationship.  It took me a year and a half of therapy to feel OK with being my own self after over 30 years of doing what my (grand)parents told me to do.  I was constantly told I owed them everything and any deviation was a major failure on my part.  Surprisingly I am actually doing better on my own that I ever did with them plotting my course.  Emotional manipulation is a terrible weapon to use on loved ones.

[Ultimus]

This seems contrary to what you told me over FB. If I had to make a guess, it sounds like you get to a point where you want to do something about this, then purge the idea because of guilt. You can make a million reasons why not to do this. Anyone can about anything. That therapist I told you about, I would highly suggest you seek him out. It does not matter if you transition, but you need to make up your mind with the right information and tools. Seek those out. Your family, especially your mom, should do the same. Your mom is only afraid of something bad happening to you. She is handling it very poorly, but no one is perfect.

And to everyone else, can we PLEASE get off what makes a trans woman a trans woman. I'll tell you who decides that, the person in question. It doesn't matter how we got to this point, only that we did, and we are better of than we were. PERIOD.

If you don't feel you need to transition then don't.

But please at least speak to a general therapist.  Letting others have that kind of power over you can be very damaging to you long term.  Her statement is a HUGE red flag and totally out of place in a true loving relationship.  It took me a year and a half of therapy to feel OK with being my own self after over 30 years of doing what my (grand)parents told me to do.  I was constantly told I owed them everything and any deviation was a major failure on my part.  Surprisingly I am actually doing better on my own that I ever did with them plotting my course.  Emotional manipulation is a terrible weapon to use on loved ones.

I want to transition soooo badly. But can't you not see that my mom will die or end up insane if I do it (no exaggeration)? What am I suppose to do?

[AubreyRenee]

Long story short? It won't be as bad as you think. Trust me.

[Jaime]

I want to transition soooo badly. But can't you not see that my mom will die or end up insane if I do it (no exaggeration)? What am I suppose to do?

Are you sure she isn't just using guilt and worry to try to control you?     Regardless, find a proper gender therapist and put some effort into working out just what you want/need to do, whatever that turns out to be.    And I'm sorry about your mom, but if you are of age, you really need to concern yourself with what's best for you and your future, any truly caring parent would want that for their child.

[Jeneva]

I want to transition soooo badly. But can't you not see that my mom will die or end up insane if I do it (no exaggeration)? What am I suppose to do?

Ok, I am not trying to be insensitive here at all, but sometimes things are what they appear and I've seen this before.

So she has told you that if you transition she will die right?  If she is in such poor health then perhaps at the next appointment you can ask the Dr his opinion?

Why does she feel she will die?  I'm pretty sure that it won't be a lightning bolt tossed by an angry desert sky god.  Is it that she will die of shame?  Shame is something you can only bring upon yourself.  If she is ashamed of you exploring who you are then that is HER choice.

I can speak from personal experience here.  A puppet master will tell you ANYTHING to keep control of the strings.  Please, please, please talk to some type of therapist about her influence.  Love isn't about control.  I'm sorry but the retreating to their deathbed is a classic manipulation technique.  It may well have been legitimate, but the fact she would NOT let you call a doctor makes it more suspicious not less.  Clutching your chest and shouting "Oh, this is the biggest one I ever had. You hear that Elizabeth? I'm coming to join you honey" is very easy to do.  I've heard how I'm going to kill my (grand)father for 10+ years now and yet he is still around.


I will also agree with AubreyRenee is that it is never as bad as we think.  Compared to what I imagined I'd lose I've only lost minor pieces.  The main pieces I lost weren't so much mine as I was theirs and once that was over they had no use for me anymore.

[rosetyler]

But can't you not see that my mom will die or end up insane if I do it (no exaggeration)?

I have a hard time believing that as well.

What am I suppose to do?

Feel free to pass along the explanation about how transsexuality fits in with the Mormon religion that I PM'ed you to your parents, or I can even give you my contact info and they can discuss it with me directly if you think that would be better.  I can also put you in touch with those trans Mormons I mentioned.

[Jaime]

"Oh, this is the biggest one I ever had. You hear that Elizabeth? I'm coming to join you honey"

Fred Sanford was the first thought in my mind when I read his earlier comment as well.

[cynthialee]

A puppet master will tell you ANYTHING to keep control of the strings.  Please, please, please talk to some type of therapist about her influence.  Love isn't about control.  I'm sorry but the retreating to their deathbed is a classic manipulation technique. 

+1

Listen to Jeneva on this.
Get into a therapist. Even if you have no intention of pursueing a transition you need to get into a therapist and talk about your relationship with your controling mother.
This is not a genuine or healthy relationship.

[Annah]

I think my ->-bleeped-<- is only sexual. I don't feel like a girl trapped in a guy's body. I don't want to be a girl socially or for any other reason besides sexual ones. I need to find some sort of balance in my life where I can be fulfilled and satisfied sexually, but still have the benefits of being a man. Like it feels so good to wear girl's clothes, makeup, and fantasize about being a girl.

If you think your predicament is strictly a sexual fetish....well, ok. If I were you (meaning if I had this same feeling), then I would assume I was a crossdresser who had a sexual fetish. Most people with fetishes don't tell their mothers about it so I think you'll be ok not telling her.

But then again, only you know you (even you know yourself more than your therapist does.....well, your therapist knows very little from the things he told you...but that's for another topic)

[Ultimus]

Are you sure she isn't just using guilt and worry to try to control you?     Regardless, find a proper gender therapist and put some effort into working out just what you want/need to do, whatever that turns out to be.    And I'm sorry about your mom, but if you are of age, you really need to concern yourself with what's best for you and your future, any truly caring parent would want that for their child.

Ok, I am not trying to be insensitive here at all, but sometimes things are what they appear and I've seen this before.

So she has told you that if you transition she will die right?  If she is in such poor health then perhaps at the next appointment you can ask the Dr his opinion?

Why does she feel she will die?  I'm pretty sure that it won't be a lightning bolt tossed by an angry desert sky god.  Is it that she will die of shame?  Shame is something you can only bring upon yourself.  If she is ashamed of you exploring who you are then that is HER choice.

I can speak from personal experience here.  A puppet master will tell you ANYTHING to keep control of the strings.  Please, please, please talk to some type of therapist about her influence.  Love isn't about control.  I'm sorry but the retreating to their deathbed is a classic manipulation technique.  It may well have been legitimate, but the fact she would NOT let you call a doctor makes it more suspicious not less.  Clutching your chest and shouting "Oh, this is the biggest one I ever had. You hear that Elizabeth? I'm coming to join you honey" is very easy to do.  I've heard how I'm going to kill my (grand)father for 10+ years now and yet he is still around.


I will also agree with AubreyRenee is that it is never as bad as we think.  Compared to what I imagined I'd lose I've only lost minor pieces.  The main pieces I lost weren't so much mine as I was theirs and once that was over they had no use for me anymore.

I have a hard time believing that as well.
Feel free to pass along the explanation about how transsexuality fits in with the Mormon religion that I PM'ed you to your parents, or I can even give you my contact info and they can discuss it with me directly if you think that would be better.  I can also put you in touch with those trans Mormons I mentioned.

My mom has had a very tough life. Everyone has a tough life, but her's has been especially burdensome. I've only heard a fraction of her experiences, and they have been particularly devastating. She is chemically depressed and has situation depression. She's loaded up on a precarious balance of anti-anxieties, anti-depressants, sleep medicines, and hormone medicine. We also have an extremely loving relationship. For example, I hug and kiss my mom all throughout the day and tell her I love her. For me to turn into a girl would be the breaking point for her. I have no doubt that she would either take her own life or end up in a mental institution.

My doctor put it best. He said, "Your parents ultimately want to see you happy. The problem is that their definition of happiness is you as a man with a wife and kids."

[lilacwoman]

jdnitale's mother is one of those sick control freaks who get an attack of the vapours to prevent children being independent...used to see lots of them in old Hollywood movies and Laurel and Hardy flicks.

best stick to being a crossdresser using female goods as stimulants...right this minute there are millions of men and woman using all sorts of other goods as stimulants such as porn, Playboy centrefolds, tractor tyres, animals, reptiles, vegetables and minerals, live and dead bodies, live and dead fur, gold and silver artifacts, altars, pews, graves, Kbar knives, M4s, M1911s, washing machines, hospital beds, toilets, trains and telegraph poles - and it is a free world. 
Old Hollywood big shots just to slip across to Tijuana to the Blue Burro to get stimulated by guess what? And once back home in their bedrooms that burro would have a prominent place in their sex lives.

Actually I don't recall ever reading of anyone using a telegraph pole for sex or having to go to hospital to have splinters removed from genitalia.   

[Mahsa Tezani]

I did that search, and only got images of banana splits. Not a drag diva in sight. 

Just a dairy queen. Yummy....carbs straight to my thighs.

[Jen61]

I did that search, and only got images of banana splits. Not a drag diva in sight. 

That is because they are all the same, BANANAS !

[Mahsa Tezani]

That is because they are all the same, BANANAS !

Soon you'll be a mother with six kids, no wife, and no banana. I happen to support you on this.

[Akashiya Moka]

I think the image of a drag queen Jen has in mind is something like this: