Inability to choose career path because I’m trans

[Sharky]

I have been struggling with this for awhile. I feel held back because I am trans. Pretty much all of the men in my family were/are either in the military, law enforcement, or career criminals. I definitely want to be on the right side of the law, but I have doubts that I will never be successful because I am trans. My step dad is a fed. Sometimes he has to go bust into someone's house. He is 6+ and I am 5'5. I worried that both my co workers and anyone we are apprehending won't take me as serious. I would love to be stealth, obviously any law enforcement job will require a deep back ground search. Plus even if it was kept under  wraps, what if I'm outed to everyone later.  I know all your drivers license photos are kept in a database.  When my step dad was dating my mom he brought up all her old photos and was teasing her about them. Knowing that my co workers may get bored and start pulling up everyones old crappy photos for laughs is concerning. It really worries me that I will never be taken seriously, that my future co workers will be uncomfortable around me, and I will never be able to have a normal relationship with them.

I have tried picking other careers, but I loose interest  in them after a semester or two. Being some type of cop or something is something I always had an interest in. When I was a little kid I had CSI and detective kits and costumes. I would investigate things and arrest my friends and family. It was really the only practical thing I wanted to be. You can't really become a cowboy or a magician.

I really don't know what to major in anymore. I have to pick something to advance in life. I could have had a career by now if I could stop switching my major. Then there's the whole issue of fitting in my medical transition. I'm only out to my grandparents and mom. They are all very unsupportive. I'm stuck living in my grandparents house. I'm trying to work as much as possible and save money to move out. But it seems impossible. Over all I'm just really stuck.



tl;dr
How did you pick your major/career?
Is it something that's typically very masculine?
Do you feel being trans is holding you back?

[Adio]

Hmm...if I remember correctly, I know a trans man who transitioned while being on the police force.  I don't know if he had any difficulties though.  If you want, I can talk to him about it and get back to you.

1) I picked my career after much searching.  At first I was interested in deaf education then social work then nursing.  I still wonder if I made the right decision, but it's too late to turn back now since I've graduated.  There is still the possibility I could go back later for something else.

2) Nursing is definitely not a traditionally masculine profession.

3) It was, yeah.  I didn't participate in many programs and scholarship opportunities because I wasn't on T or hadn't changed my name/gender marker.  So far, that has greatly impacted my success in finding a job.  I also didn't want to start applying for jobs until I had top surgery.  Now all of that is out of the way and I can finally get on with my life.  So...yes, at first.  Now, no. 

[Annah]

Well, while my career path is not the same as yours, our struggles are similiar and I can tell you that you can fulfill your desire to be whatever you want

I was a Pastor in a very large conservative church denomination. When I stood against their philosophies and theological discourse on same gender loving people, I was promptly fired. I hadn't even gotten to the point that I was transgender.

When I did decided to transition, I was in the same boat as you. I scoured through so many job options that would take a transgender person; I was not satisfied. Then I looked back at the church and after some research, I came to the conclusion that there were many denominations that would embrace me.

I now work in a Church administering sacraments and leading service as a Student intern as I finish my final year in Seminary. I am the third MTF transgender person to be ordained in this denomination.

Who would have thought I could be an ordained transgender minister in a non gay oriented Christian Church?

I was a sheriff deputy for four years back in the 90s in Pasco Co. Florida. I know the mentality of police officers. Quite frankly, I hated my job. But I did not hate the passion these people had in their line of work. With enough research, backbone, and fighting, you can work in law enforcement.Matter of fact, I know of 3 transgender people who are cops.

Just like my line of work, you just have to make the sacrifice to go to an area that will accept you as a transgender cop.

I had gotten to the point where I just refused to let anything hold me back from being the real me. I did the facade bullsh*t for 35 years. It was my turn to be me.

[insideontheoutside]

I'll echo what Annah said in that maybe a change of location and then trying to get into your chosen career would help? I do know a number of people in law enforcement. It's people's actions that gain them respect usually. You may have to work a little harder to gain some people's respect but once you do. You might just do some research and make inquiries in different areas where it might be easier to actually transition while you're in policy academy or another program. Don't let being trans stop you.

[Annah]

Also, being a FTM trans in the police force is much easier compared to MTF. Police pride themselves on toughness. In the police academy we had this built into our psyche.

Now, of course you are not a lesbian, but in our county we had a lot of lesbians in our office. Just the mindset of the police where I was from, a female to male trans would not even had batted an eyelash. A Male to female would have been harder to gain the respect of her fellow brass simply because of the "male dominated" mentality of our Sheriff's office.

[anibioman]

i was considering being a cop or maybe a school teacher or a psychologist my dreams of becoming a military man where quickly crushed these all happen to be jobs my family members have (genetics?) so yeah. my paternal grandfather was a marine and a detective (NYPD vice.) my maternal grandfather and great uncle both fought in vietnam. all of my fathers 3 siblings are teachers high school history and elementary. my mothers brother is a psychologist and two of my other uncles by marriage are doctors too.

so i feel the pressure, as two of my career paths are potentially squandered because im trans and the other two are only there because im trans.

[AndrewL]

Sharky, I'm FtM and going into law enforcement. It's true stealth isn't really an option, but thus far it hasn't been a big deal for me. I listed my gender on my application as "M" and my birth name as prior legal name. When I went in for the first interview they saw my old name, asked if it was a birth name and for the documentation of the name change. They have never mentioned gender and I'm optimistic about my chances. There is even a department in Vermont that lists "transgender" as an option for gender.

Have you thought about looking into TCOPS (Transgender Community of Police and Sheriffs). Its a professional organization for transgendered officers. They also have a mentoring group on yahoo that I'm a part of. They've been a great help to me during the application process and reaffirmed my faith that even though I'm trans I can still work in the field I love. Their website is: http://www.tcops-international.org/ .

I also wouldn't worry about your height. I'm only 5'3" and I've known several officers (cismen & ciswomen) that are shorter. One of the officers I road with joked that for "guys like us" the 5' wall is harder because it's our height. With a bit of training though it is possible to get over it and I'm looking forward to my physical agility test tomorrow. Size isn't a deciding factor in law enforcement, command presence is. Being able to portray confidence and control when staring at someone twice your size will serve you far better than an additional half-foot in height.

For the quick answers to your questions:
How did you pick your major/career?: A ride-along a year ago introduced me to patrol work. 250 hrs of ride-alongs later and I know there is no going back. I added a major in Crime and Delinquency Studies and started physical training. Now I'm in the application process.

Is it something that's typically very masculine?
Traditionally yes, police work is seen as masculine. Last estimate I heard was that 1 in 10 officers are female. That's not why I'm interested in it though. I'm actually drawn to the more "feminine" emotional connection and working with people who need help. I like police work because it provides a good balance for my instinct to "mother" and help as well as my drive to protect and study how to handle violent encounters.

Do you feel being trans is holding you back?
Partially. I'm applying for larger agencies than I ordinarily would because I expect their going to be more accepting. I did have one department that I suspect my trans status was part of the reason I wasn't selected to continue the hiring process, but that could also be because I transitioned during that application. I've spoken with trans officers and know that it is possible to get hired, just a little harder than if I was cis.


I hope this helps. I'd follow your dreams. To me giving up and letting society force me into a career than what I want would be just as bad as not transitioning. YMMV, good luck with your decision.

[Ayden]

I would say go for law enforcement if that it what you want to do. I don't see why things like height would an issue. My dad was a cop when I was young in a backwater town in Kentucky and they had a gay guy and one guy who was only about 5'4. No one ever seemed to care. And Uncle Hugh (the short one) always gave the best candy.

How did you pick your major/career?

Actually, I wanted to do pharmacy before I started college. But after starting classes, I fell in love with my major and can't imagine doing anything else.

Is it something that's typically very masculine?

Nah. Historians, though about 60% male, are not exactly the strong types. We're the nerdy guys with glasses and sweater vests. T_T

Do you feel being trans is holding you back?

So far, no. But, I am also the kind of person that is too stubborn for his own good. I don't know when to give up. It works out sometimes, fails completely sometimes, but I've always had it pounded into my head that there is no try, just do or die.

[Sharky]

Thanks for all the replies. I'm not good at phrasing things. I can't decided what career path to chose in general. Law enforcement is what I am currently the most interested in, but I didn't mean to exclusively say 'I can't be a cop because I'm trans' or something.

Hmm...if I remember correctly, I know a trans man who transitioned while being on the police force.  I don't know if he had any difficulties though.  If you want, I can talk to him about it and get back to you.

1) I picked my career after much searching.  At first I was interested in deaf education then social work then nursing.  I still wonder if I made the right decision, but it's too late to turn back now since I've graduated.  There is still the possibility I could go back later for something else.

2) Nursing is definitely not a traditionally masculine profession.

3) It was, yeah.  I didn't participate in many programs and scholarship opportunities because I wasn't on T or hadn't changed my name/gender marker.  So far, that has greatly impacted my success in finding a job.  I also didn't want to start applying for jobs until I had top surgery.  Now all of that is out of the way and I can finally get on with my life.  So...yes, at first.  Now, no.

It would be great to hear what he has to say. Shoot me a PM if you hear from him. Thanks.
I get invited to participate in all these cool things, but I just can't do it because I can't bare to do it as female. I'm probably going to drop out, get a second job, then go back to school. It just sucks.

Well, while my career path is not the same as yours, our struggles are similiar and I can tell you that you can fulfill your desire to be whatever you want

I was a Pastor in a very large conservative church denomination. When I stood against their philosophies and theological discourse on same gender loving people, I was promptly fired. I hadn't even gotten to the point that I was transgender.

When I did decided to transition, I was in the same boat as you. I scoured through so many job options that would take a transgender person; I was not satisfied. Then I looked back at the church and after some research, I came to the conclusion that there were many denominations that would embrace me.

I now work in a Church administering sacraments and leading service as a Student intern as I finish my final year in Seminary. I am the third MTF transgender person to be ordained in this denomination.

Who would have thought I could be an ordained transgender minister in a non gay oriented Christian Church?

I was a sheriff deputy for four years back in the 90s in Pasco Co. Florida. I know the mentality of police officers. Quite frankly, I hated my job. But I did not hate the passion these people had in their line of work. With enough research, backbone, and fighting, you can work in law enforcement.Matter of fact, I know of 3 transgender people who are cops.

Just like my line of work, you just have to make the sacrifice to go to an area that will accept you as a transgender cop.

I had gotten to the point where I just refused to let anything hold me back from being the real me. I did the facade bullsh*t for 35 years. It was my turn to be me.

Wow. I went to a fundamentalist Christian school and I couldn't imagine trying to work in that environment. Everyone I knew was filled with extreme hate for anyone that wasn't straight and cis.   Glad to hear it worked out for you.

Also, being a FTM trans in the police force is much easier compared to MTF. Police pride themselves on toughness. In the police academy we had this built into our psyche.

Now, of course you are not a lesbian, but in our county we had a lot of lesbians in our office. Just the mindset of the police where I was from, a female to male trans would not even had batted an eyelash. A Male to female would have been harder to gain the respect of her fellow brass simply because of the "male dominated" mentality of our Sheriff's office.

Yeah I figured it would be a easier.

I'll echo what Annah said in that maybe a change of location and then trying to get into your chosen career would help? I do know a number of people in law enforcement. It's people's actions that gain them respect usually. You may have to work a little harder to gain some people's respect but once you do. You might just do some research and make inquiries in different areas where it might be easier to actually transition while you're in policy academy or another program. Don't let being trans stop you.

I think my location may be ok for this. Im in the Philly area. I googled it and there is/was an MTF officer in Philly. They got in trouble though for shooting the ground near another officer at a shooting range after an argument.

i was considering being a cop or maybe a school teacher or a psychologist my dreams of becoming a military man where quickly crushed these all happen to be jobs my family members have (genetics?) so yeah. my paternal grandfather was a marine and a detective (NYPD vice.) my maternal grandfather and great uncle both fought in vietnam. all of my fathers 3 siblings are teachers high school history and elementary. my mothers brother is a psychologist and two of my other uncles by marriage are doctors too.

so i feel the pressure, as two of my career paths are potentially squandered because im trans and the other two are only there because im trans.

Besides military, what one was squashed because your trans? What jobs are only there because you are trans?

Sharky, I'm FtM and going into law enforcement. It's true stealth isn't really an option, but thus far it hasn't been a big deal for me. I listed my gender on my application as "M" and my birth name as prior legal name. When I went in for the first interview they saw my old name, asked if it was a birth name and for the documentation of the name change. They have never mentioned gender and I'm optimistic about my chances. There is even a department in Vermont that lists "transgender" as an option for gender.

Have you thought about looking into TCOPS (Transgender Community of Police and Sheriffs). Its a professional organization for transgendered officers. They also have a mentoring group on yahoo that I'm a part of. They've been a great help to me during the application process and reaffirmed my faith that even though I'm trans I can still work in the field I love. Their website is: http://www.tcops-international.org/ .

I also wouldn't worry about your height. I'm only 5'3" and I've known several officers (cismen & ciswomen) that are shorter. One of the officers I road with joked that for "guys like us" the 5' wall is harder because it's our height. With a bit of training though it is possible to get over it and I'm looking forward to my physical agility test tomorrow. Size isn't a deciding factor in law enforcement, command presence is. Being able to portray confidence and control when staring at someone twice your size will serve you far better than an additional half-foot in height.

For the quick answers to your questions:
How did you pick your major/career?: A ride-along a year ago introduced me to patrol work. 250 hrs of ride-alongs later and I know there is no going back. I added a major in Crime and Delinquency Studies and started physical training. Now I'm in the application process.

Is it something that's typically very masculine?
Traditionally yes, police work is seen as masculine. Last estimate I heard was that 1 in 10 officers are female. That's not why I'm interested in it though. I'm actually drawn to the more "feminine" emotional connection and working with people who need help. I like police work because it provides a good balance for my instinct to "mother" and help as well as my drive to protect and study how to handle violent encounters.

Do you feel being trans is holding you back?
Partially. I'm applying for larger agencies than I ordinarily would because I expect their going to be more accepting. I did have one department that I suspect my trans status was part of the reason I wasn't selected to continue the hiring process, but that could also be because I transitioned during that application. I've spoken with trans officers and know that it is possible to get hired, just a little harder than if I was cis.


I hope this helps. I'd follow your dreams. To me giving up and letting society force me into a career than what I want would be just as bad as not transitioning. YMMV, good luck with your decision.

Cool and I'll book mark the site. How did your agility test go? I'm not a very agile person. I'm an extremely slow runner. In school I was always the last person to finish the mile. Even in elementary school when I wasn't over weight at all. I've seen a lot of fat cops though. If you do good on everything that isn't running will you still pass?  The only major my school has is called Administration of Justice.  Definitely helps thanks.

I would say go for law enforcement if that it what you want to do. I don't see why things like height would an issue. My dad was a cop when I was young in a backwater town in Kentucky and they had a gay guy and one guy who was only about 5'4. No one ever seemed to care. And Uncle Hugh (the short one) always gave the best candy.

How did you pick your major/career?

Actually, I wanted to do pharmacy before I started college. But after starting classes, I fell in love with my major and can't imagine doing anything else.

Is it something that's typically very masculine?

Nah. Historians, though about 60% male, are not exactly the strong types. We're the nerdy guys with glasses and sweater vests. T_T

Do you feel being trans is holding you back?

So far, no. But, I am also the kind of person that is too stubborn for his own good. I don't know when to give up. It works out sometimes, fails completely sometimes, but I've always had it pounded into my head that there is no try, just do or die.

LOL "We're the nerdy guys with glasses and sweater vests. T_T" I don't have much idea what a historian is. Do you work in a museum?

[anibioman]

Besides military, what one was squashed because your trans? What jobs are only there because you are trans?

being trans makes it imposible to join the military and makes it harder to be a cop, and the main reasons i want to be a teacher is because i want to help educate kids about LGBT subjects or a psychologist to learn about the mind and maybe what makes me trans.

[Cindy]

This might be a little off topic, but the older you get them more you become aware that being TG  is not an impediment to doing what you want to do. It is your fear of being yourself that is. I think that people who are true to themselves overcome immense difficulties. We see them and hear of them daily. People with terrible physical handicaps who live full productive lives. People who have been involved in life changing accidents that get back up and keep going.

What 'we' need to keep in mind is that being TG is a condition it is not a sentence. 'We' are already tougher than most people, we have survived in circumstances that 'normal' men and women cannot comprehend.  You guys are already a damn sight tougher then cis guys, you have had to have been to get this far. Ok many of you may not have the physical strength, but that will also change when you are on T and do body building work outs. If you guys gain muscle mass on T as fast as I'm losing it on AA then you will be very happy.

Be positive, go for what you want in life and never let something as trivial as being TG hold you back.

Cindy

[Ayden]

I currently don't work in a museum, though that would rock my socks. I wish I did. Right now I am an assistant apartment manager with my university. I plan on eventually working as a professor at whatever university would take me. I would prefer to end up at the uni I am at right now, but who knows. If I came back here (since everyone knows me as a girl) I would be instantly slated into gender studies or duel cast as history and gender studies.

There was a job offer for history students to work at the museum on my campus cataloging bones and artifacts. It opens up every semester, so I may go for it in the spring. If I can't get paid for it I will volunteer. I mean, they have actual documents from like, 1850 here. I would love to actually see them in person.

...And I will end there, because I can talk about history forever. ^_^

[Adio]

It would be great to hear what he has to say. Shoot me a PM if you hear from him. Thanks.

I sent him an email.  I'll PM you with his reply, hopefully soon.

[Darrin Scott]

I plan on working for myself as a photographer. I don't think it will really matter if I'm trans or not.