Help with school and binding?

[Vincent Todd]

I recently got comfortable with the idea of being FtM (only just signed up for this forum as well) after being in denial for about six months. I've been dressing in boy's clothes for quite some time, but never really got "mistaken" for a boy before because of my breasts.

Six days ago, I bought a binder. I've been using it a lot (no more than 12 hours a day, though) and mainly enjoying my flat chest. It makes me feel a lot more comfortable and I also pass for male about 80% of the time (the other 20% I open my mouth to talk with my high pitched voice).

My question about binding is the saggy breasts issue. I'm young and haven't even discussed hormones yet. I don't want my breasts to sag. While I have them (do want surgery some day, but I think it's going to take a few years at least), I'd rather have them looking... well, normal. I know saggy breasts are pretty unavoidable when you bind, but... is there anything I can do to slow the process down? Would just taking the binder off in the weekends be enough?

I have another question about school. I've been going to school wearing my binder, but it's been attracting some unwanted attention. People have been pointing at me and talking about me behind my back. Usually it's not people I know, but strangers betting over my gender. Sometimes they yell or walk up to me and demand to know what my gender is. I'm not out at school and I'm barely out to my parents (the only reason they're okay with the binder is because I said I was just "trying things out"), so I'm forced to say I'm a girl, to which they laugh and point even louder. I feel quite humiliated whenever that happens.

I'm talking to a psychologist at the moment and hope to possibly start using my chosen name and male pronouns in the near future. I just don't know how I'm going to go about that at school. High school kids are mostly dicks (excuse the language) and I doubt being the only transgender kid would work out for me. I'm thinking a bit far ahead maybe, but it worries me so much.

Thank you guys in advance! (Also, I hope I put this in the right topic... Probably, but I don't know if there's another subforum or something.)

EDIT: I feel like I seem like a bit of a silly teenager at the moment. I've been struggling with my identity for years and years and years (well, okay, four or five). I went through countless phases. Thought I was straight, thought I was a lesbian, thought I was genderqueer, thought I was the girliest girl on the planet for a little while. But being transgendered just hit me and it all made sense. It's the first thing I'm comfortable as identifying as. It just clicked in my head.

[spacial]

I'm no expert, but my understanding is that the so called sagging happens when breasts are not held up, their weight, streaching the skin tissues and so sagging. If that is the case, then surely binding is one of the best ways to avoid it?

People will make fun of you and continue to do so until you develop the condifence within yourself.

Your alternative is to try to be as normal as everyone else is, conform to the standards of society, get married to some guy and spend your life trying to be a pretty little thing, to keep him interested and his friends jealous.

The down side with the latter option is depression, self hate, hatred of everyone else, regret and geneally feeling as if you sold yourself cheap. Because you did. That down side comes from personal experience and the experiences of others here.

You're better than that.

As for feeling like a teenager, that's because that's what you are. You're also a human, with the right to be happy and enjoy your own life, on your terms. You're intelegent enough to figure out how to do it and lucky enough to live in a time and placed when you can.

Confidence comes. Until it does, you just have to brass it out.

[Lee]

Hey, first of all welcome to the site.  I hope we can be helpful.

If you are worried about sagging, then you could bind less often or with something that doesn't squish things down quite as much if you're okay with not being completely flat.  It doesn't seem to have a huge effect on most guys.  I have been binding regularly for about a year and a half, and there hasn't been any noticeable change.  However, I'm sure it depends on the person.  You can always alter the way you're binding if you notice things starting to change.

It's sad that the people in your school are acting like that.  I always figure that rude people are stuck with themselves 24/7, and that's more than enough punishment .

[Ayden]

Howdy! Hope you can find some useful stuff here. I certainly have.

I second what Lee said.

I'm not a big chested guy (thankfully) and I first started binding in freshman year of high school. To put it in perspective that was about ten years ago. I had my "be a straight girl" phases pretty frequently until I finally just stopped worrying about it so much. So, for the last ten years I have alternated between binding, pushup bras (ick), and sports-bras. I wouldn't mind mine getting flatter, but they (sadly) stay firm and perky. If you are on the smaller side, then sports bras of athletic shirts can still give the mostly flat chest and some support. Whenever I start to break out from binding, a wear a sports bra for a day or two. I think it depends on the guy, how tightly you bind, chest size, and probably genetics.

And I with Lee on this one too. Rude people have to live with themselves, so it sucks to be them. When I was in high school I can't even tell you the number of people who were confused by me. I would come to school in three piece suits, flat chest and polished shoes one day, "girl" pants, flat chest and a bulge in my pants. I went in a dress on Halloween just to mess with people. Some people are jerks, so just try and keep your chin up and be confident. I don't pass at all as soon as I open my mouth, but I have gotten into the habit of correcting people when they use 'ma'am'. A little bit of confidence goes a long way. If all else, just confuse the hell out of them like I did in school.

[Felix]

I lost some sensation in my breasts from binding, and my cysts pretty much went away (shrunk enough not to hurt anymore), but I don't see any new sagging. I'm not sure how common that is.

[Callum]

I'm a little nervous about this too. I still haven't figured out what my plan is for the future, so I'm really scared of any permanent changes, even if I hate my chest. I'm kind of just going by a day-to-day basis until I can see a gender therapist, which should happen soon. For now, I'm just doing whatever I can to feel better, so I bind. It's been a month, and I haven't seen any changes, but it is a very short period of time.

I'm completely closeted as a trans boy (I told my mom I was agender, but have since revised that), but I've been very fortunate as far as school goes. I haven't had any comments about my binder, but I also still have long hair, unfortunately, so I still look completely female.  I'd just say do as much as you feel comfortable with. I don't have much personal experience with teasing about gender, as I haven't made any changes other than binding, but remember to stay true to yourself and try to ignore the teasing, even though it's tough.

[Mattmadness]

I'm sorry I'm not gonna be any help at all but i just wanted to say I'm in highschool too and I'm out to anyone who asks and all my friends and family. i have the problem you had about dressing like a boy but not being confused for one cause of my breasts and i just wanted to ask where you got yours? i don't care about sagging breasts cause I'm just gonna have them removed later in life but that's just me. i was also wondering what you do for gym to change or if you feel uncomfortable changing in the girls locker room cause i know i do but that may just be because my friend wrote I'm gay on my gym shirt and point and tell there friend then they try to cover up and its like I'm not gonna check you out. just cause i like girls and guys doesn't mean I'm gonna check out every girl and guy i see. sorry i ranted a little i just hate it when they do that.

[wrabbit]

binding makes your breast tissue degenerate, so i hear, so itll lose its shape and just blah all over your chest, at least that's how i understand it

umm, yeah people in my college go directly up to me and ask "are you a boy or a girl?" and i lol and say "im a dude" in my cultivated manvoice.
you can has one too, just look up on youtube "boom your voice". mine comes from a combination of that and my natural ability to have a lower voice :3 Practicing helps a ton!
I use the mens room so it proves it to people XD

I hate not being regarded as male, and even worse is that the family i live with refuses to call me a boy or by my chosen name

[Felix]

itll lose its shape and just blah all over your chest

and i lol and say "im a dude" in my cultivated manvoice.

You have a really cool way with words.