Coming Out?

[JRockKid]

Hey guys, I'm new here and I just wonder how to come out to my parents about being trans. Yes, I'm a girl, but I feel more like a guy. But there's bumps in the road. My mom will think it's a phase, she said God put you on this world to live who you are and not change, trans people annoy her at times, my dad on the other hand is open and accepting...I don't know what to do.

Thank you guys. 

[Jayr]

I would recommend telling your dad first since he's open minded and accepting. Ask him if he can keep it between the two of you until you're comfortable enough to come out to mom. Having one parent supporting you will raise your self esteem and confidence. It's nice to know you have someone backing you up and there with you. Later when you're ready, come out to mom. Having your dad by your side will help and probably encourage your mom to follow in his foot steps. If she's not accepting at first, at least you'll have your dad with you. But don't worry after some time a lot of parents come around. I'm sure your mom will learn to love you, she will just need time.

For me it was the opposite, I told my mom first, because I knew she would be accepting. Everything went well, it was kinda rough at first but with time it was fine. I thought for sure my dad would disown me so I only came out to him a year after I told my mom. Come to find out he's even more supporting then she is. I got extremely lucky I know.

I came out to both my parents through email. I figured it would be easier for me and for them. Through writing I could make sure to have all my thoughts down and everything I wanted to say. It also gave them time to absorb it before answering. Face to face you have to answer right away, sometimes people need time alone to get there thoughts/reactions together. But it all depends on you and your family. If you're brave enough come out face to face and think it's the appropriate way to come out than go right ahead. It's up to you and how comfortable you are.

I wish you good luck!

Coming out is rough and scary but remember to keep your head high and stay true to yourself.
In the end things will turn out fine.

[Paul]

I agree with Jayr:

If your dad is accepting I would definitely come out to him 1st and like Jayr said ask him to keep it between you two.  Once you're comfortable then the two of you together can tell you mother and he may have some advice on how to approach her with the information and when.  I never told my dad before he passed away and I wish I had because he was very accepting and it would have made telling my mother SO much easier. 

Always remember, we have all had our time to come to terms with it, we need to allow others that same thing.  Even if she isn't accepting at first or is hurt, just remember it's going to take time for everyone.  As hard as it can be sometimes, just be patient and take things one day at a time. 

Most importantly (at least for me it has been) even though most people say this is a very personal journey, I have found it beneficial for both me and my friends/family to make sure they know they can ask me questions about any of this process.  So make sure you tell her that you're willing to answer questions she may have to help her better understand what you're going through.  Communication is ALWAYS the key.

Good luck and let us know how everything goes!

[JRockKid]

I would recommend telling your dad first since he's open minded and accepting. Ask him if he can keep it between the two of you until you're comfortable enough to come out to mom. Having one parent supporting you will raise your self esteem and confidence. It's nice to know you have someone backing you up and there with you. Later when you're ready, come out to mom. Having your dad by your side will help and probably encourage your mom to follow in his foot steps. If she's not accepting at first, at least you'll have your dad with you. But don't worry after some time a lot of parents come around. I'm sure your mom will learn to love you, she will just need time.

For me it was the opposite, I told my mom first, because I knew she would be accepting. Everything went well, it was kinda rough at first but with time it was fine. I thought for sure my dad would disown me so I only came out to him a year after I told my mom. Come to find out he's even more supporting then she is. I got extremely lucky I know.

I came out to both my parents through email. I figured it would be easier for me and for them. Through writing I could make sure to have all my thoughts down and everything I wanted to say. It also gave them time to absorb it before answering. Face to face you have to answer right away, sometimes people need time alone to get there thoughts/reactions together. But it all depends on you and your family. If you're brave enough come out face to face and think it's the appropriate way to come out than go right ahead. It's up to you and how comfortable you are.

I wish you good luck!

Coming out is rough and scary but remember to keep your head high and stay true to yourself.
In the end things will turn out fine.

Thanks bro. That really helped. I might try it.

[Tossu-sama]

I'd recommend the email method, too. It worked well for me since my thoughts are a bit wandering sort and I could every detail down and just let it all out, so to speak, without anyone interrupting me.
I later discussed with Mom about it and she said the email was very good for her, too. She could read it as many time as needed and really absorb everything.

But hey, I wish you good luck with this as well.