Boys don't cry?

[CaptainFantastic]

I wonder, since everyone keeps going on about emotions and how to express them,
would you say that you've changed since you've started transitioning?

What things do you (still) get very emotional about? What things make you cry? Situations,
movies, songs...

Is it a typically female thing to cry whenever there's something remotely sad or touching on TV?
The other night, watching x-factor (again! I know.....), and although I know full well that most of
it is staged and actually made to make you go all warm and fuzzy inside by the network, I caught
myself shedding the odd tear (what a manly way to describe  , and I never know should I or should
I not be embarrassed?

So, let's hear what gets you going!

[Nygeel]

The no hormones part of transition I had been cool with my emotions and showing them. After a year on hormones I've found difficulty in moving my eyebrows. I know it sounds odd but it's very hard for me to lift my eyebrows, but very easy to furrow them. I also can't cry, even when I want to. It seems like frustration which used to turn into crying now turns a bit more physical...not that I want to hit things but I get very tense and angry.

There have been times where I really want to cry but just physically can't.

[JesseO]

I'm about 6 months on...and I can definently still cry. The difference it seems is that I can make it stop quicker than before. So...I can def. still cry, but I can regain my composure afterwards better.

[wheat thins are delicious]

Pre T I was quick to cry at any type of confrontation, when I was frustrated, angry, sad, or emotional.  I hated that because it was hard for me to try to live as male when I cried all the time. 

Now, over a year on T, I never cry.  The last time I remember crying was when my god mother died around April of this year.  I'll tear up now and then but I don't really cry.  I see nothing wrong with a man crying though.  I feel everyone should be able to show emotions without being labeled negatively. 

[Nathan90]

I've heard a lot of guys say they have 'trouble' crying after a few months on T.

Even though I'll get terribly frustated if I can't cry when I'd want to, still, I'll welcome the not crying (or less crying for that matter).

[HarryP]

I have never really cried at pain, but I do cry at films, books and music. I sometimes put on known weepies if I'm feeling sad or angry but haven't been able to cry - but once Inspector Morse dies or Wilde gets sent to prison, the tears are bound to fall! I don't really see it as unmanly though cos my big bear boyfriend cries at the Sound of Music, and my Grandad cries at Disney!

[N.Chaos]

(I'm not and don't plan on going on T)

I've always had serious issues with crying. Just me crying, though. I feel nauseated and like a big disgusting piece of wussy ->-bleeped-<-. Unfortunately, there's a number of things that make me cry.

[Sharky]

I was watching some medical show the other day and men and women's tear ducts and what not are different. Mens eyes produce less tears and can hold more. I've heard before that women produce more of a chemical or something that makes you Cry.

[Sam-]

I don't cry too often. But legit watching Sixteen & Pregnant has made me shed a few tears when they have the baby lmao super lame but having children is a very sensitive subject for me. If T makes it harder for me to cry it won't be an issue with me.

[Mr.Rainey]

I have never cried because of a show or something like that. I tend not to cry a lot about things unless they really make me sad. Some things make my eyes water up but I never shed an actual tear. I do show that whatever it was made me sad with my facial expressions. I never have gotten any flak for it.

When a friend cries it makes my eyes water up a lot. I almost lost my composure when one of my friends was really upset and was hugging me while she was sobbing. I am naturally empathetic so it can be a little bit of a challenge. Emotions are okay but I don't ever want to shed tears in public.

[supremecatoverlord]

I hardly cried at all before T...if you don't count last year, because it was pretty rough for me. I had a lot of anxiety inside of me, a good majority of it dysphoria related and the other half was likely because I basically had to sit back and watch my girlfriend (now ex) pick my world apart. I know this sounds really melodramatic, but in full detail, I assure you it's not and that she fell far from putting me through a paucity of degradation.
YAYYYY.


Um, anyway, yeah, I had an anxiety attack the other day, and I usually only end up crying when I feel hopeless like that, because I get really frustrated with the world. I couldn't cry, but it wasn't just that I noticed actually. Maybe this has to do with my lack of sleep more than anything else, but I wasn't exactly sure how I felt emotionally at the time until familiar components I attribute to my anxiety attacks physically manifested themselves. I dunno. Sort of odd. Lmao.

[Wesley_33]

I've seen lately that my ptsd used to be easier to keep in check. Not so much anymore. I think its more a willingness to talk about so I get emotional about it. Tho all the other stuff that used to make me tear right up does't seem to at all now. Well minus things with kids but I think that always will get me.

[fatalerror]

I'm pre-everything and actually rarely cry. Sometimes it's weird because I know I SHOULD but I don't. The few times that I do, it makes me feel gross and embarrassed too. I try all I can to be in private if it's gonna happen, hahah. If getting on T makes it even less common for me, I'll be cool with that.

[Aussie Jay]

My 2c, generally speaking I found it very easy to get emotional and cry pre T, and I was quite moody - but that could be due to my sun in Cancer making me overly emotional anyways!

But I am now just over 2 years on T and I can count on one hand the number of tears I have cried in that time. And am exponentially less moody - still sensitive and somewhat emotional but it's different now. And as I aquire more "male socialisation" as I am accepted into more male only spaces I learn different emotions and even different ways to deal with the emotions I may feel..

I find when in my own space a lot of the same things make me emotional or want to be emotional or cry but it is almost impossible to squeeze out any tears!! Which is fine with me. I will deny I said this but some times under the right circumstances, when the melancholy strikes it would be "nice" to have a howl... But overall I much prefer my emotions now than I ever did before - before they just irritated me and made me angry as they would appear at the drop of a hat.

[Keaira]

The no hormones part of transition I had been cool with my emotions and showing them. After a year on hormones I've found difficulty in moving my eyebrows. I know it sounds odd but it's very hard for me to lift my eyebrows, but very easy to furrow them. I also can't cry, even when I want to. It seems like frustration which used to turn into crying now turns a bit more physical...not that I want to hit things but I get very tense and angry.

There have been times where I really want to cry but just physically can't.

For me, I think this was the hardest thing for me to deal with when I was living pre-HRT as a guy. Especially when you consider I was a rather sensitive child before puberty. And now that I'm on estrogen, I sometimes wonder if I'm making up for lost time. lol. Commercials, movies, music and pictures set me off crying. Male puberty left me angry at the world for trapping me in a male body and it really caused me to emotionally hurt friends and loved ones, so be careful you don't let T control you.

[wesxx]

Eh, I feel like sentimental things (like those commercials with the poor abused animals) make me feel like crying a lot more than pre-T. I haven't cried since starting T because I hate crying, but I know I totally could if I wanted to. I've been close on a few occasions. It's not like I cried much pre-T anyhow.

Speaking of which, I watched Boys Don't Cry a few weeks ago and almost cried many times there.

[cookiekangaroo]

The only time I really cry is when I'm exceedingly frustrated or stressed. Though, some movies make me cry, like the movie actually titled "Boys Don't Cry" which is a good movie that is about an FtM and is based on a true story. It's got a pretty crummy ending though.

[Ayden]

I cry sometimes. My favorite movie, Life is Beautiful does it every time. I wish I didn't love the movie, because I don't have happy tears at the end, I am heartbroken and all I can think 'No! Life isn't beautiful!' But I don't feel bad about it, because my partner broke down in tears for about half an hour. Ikiru is the other the movie that does it to me, but it more of a happy, bittersweet type of crying. Joe cries at this one too, so I am totally justified. As for books, I cried when reading Peter Pan when I realized the implication of the story of the pirates and Captain Hook, and I cried when Snape died in Harry Potter. Yes, I cried over Harry Potter. Other than that, I usually cry when I am really hurt, upset or very sick.

I guess I am weird, because I don't really mind crying. I figure if I am crying there is a reason for it. I don't count myself as being less of a guy for it either, a lot of guys in my family cry. My dad teared up at the end of a few movies, and It's a Wonderful life always did my Grandpa in. One of my brothers is pretty quick to tears too, so I think it might be a genetic thing with the guys in my family. You should have seen my family when our last dog died. The only person who didn't bawl was my mom!

I personally think the saying "boys don't/can't cry" is silly. I'm a guy and I cry. I'm pretty comfortable with a big softie at times. But I can understand why some guys prefer not to cry. I actually hope I don't lose the ability to like I have been told I will. It's a good stress reliever sometimes.

[cisdad]

I'm cis rather than trans, but will throw in a couple of cents since my own growing up lead to an issue on this.

Namely, when I was young (and dinosaurs roamed the earth), I was a cis-guy who was emotional more in keeping with girls' stereotypes than guys'.  This was, partly literally, beaten out of me as I grew up, by my male classmates.

That was then, and there.  Given where I am now (quite a few years/decades later), I can't say the whole "boys don't cry" thing was at all good for me.  Not that 'cry at the spill of a drop of milk' is quite the thing either.  But if some moisture 'wells up' at certain parts of certain movies (Live is Beautiful is one for me too), so be it.  Guys, even old ones like me, do sometimes do that.

In terms of a transitional point on crying, I'll lay claim to the oddest.  Hormones are well-known to mess majorly with emotions, so T-therapy doesn't buy you many points for this particular, peculiar, contest.  My change (towards crying more freely) was following a 24 hour relay running race.  It's held for years following.  Never understood why.  The race itself was no great emotional pivot point.  Just a lot of dozing around with other runners while waiting to knock out my mile.

[Ayden]

Cisdad: You sound a lot like my Dad!

The guys who cry freely in my family are on my mother's side of the family. My Dad, sadly, did not have a very understanding or accepting mother, and she drilled into his head how she thought men and boys should behave. Because of my being born when he was so young, he got into the military to support me and mom, and being 20 and in boot camp was not helpful in learning how to cry.

Like your relay race, dad's transition into crying wasn't anything really emotional. Well, it was but it wasn't. When he was a single parent and it was just me and him, I got really sick. I was a pretty healthy kid for the most part, and he didn't know what to do. I think I kept him up for the better chunk of forty eight hours. After a fit of crying and other illness related things, I wanted to watch Hook (yes, I am young enough to have watched Robin Williams as Peter Pan). Dad cried when Peter couldn't get his kids near the beginning, and when Tootles got his marbles back.

To this day I am supposed to say that it was something more macho, but the secret has been out forever. Hook is one of my Dad's favorites now. We watch it during the Holidays.