Shifting Again

[gennee]

I have been dressing up quite a bit the past couple of weeks. I desire to dress up more now. My spouse has noticed and she is somewhat bothered by it. She wrote a poem about my desire to be a woman rather than a man. I understand how she feels. She fears that she is losing the male person that she married. I tell her that I'm the same person. 

I'm not really surprised by her response because I thought that this day would come. Things were quiet for a while. I sense that another shift is coming.  I guess the holiday season may have triggered it because there have been more opportunities to dress.  Just the other day I saw a transgender woman as I was crossing the street. I have been out dressed sparingly in my new digs but that will change as of now.

Another area of my life that I have considered is a permanent name change. This still a long way off but it sure seems closer than I imagined. There's an organization that specializes in the area so I'll need to look into this. 

My brother wants me to spend a weekend at his home upstate. I've never told him about my being transgender. I honestly have no desire to. I wonder how I'll fare while at his place. I'll probably be little nuts because I can't dress.


A lot is happening in my life at the moment as you can see. I'm sure that by the end of the year it will be sorted out. 

[Ayden]

Gennee, for starters I want to say that if that is you in your picture, I love the glasses.

You seem to really have a lot going on, and I hope that you still find time to enjoy the holiday season. I am in a similar situation, though I am FTM. I will be visiting family and I know I will have to wear the clothing my father wants me to, and not what I prefer to. I also don't really want to tell my dad, but I think I will be a little stuck, considering I come from a pretty tight knit family that holds the idea of "southern family closeness" up to the extreme sometimes.

As for your wife's worries, I am very sorry. My husband has been wonderful to me and is really happy that I am finally being myself. I think he knew before I even thought to talk about it. I don't know much about your situation, but does your wife clothes shop with you? Joe picks out clothes for me, and I think he takes more joy in picking them out than I do wearing them. He says it also makes him feel like he is a part of my journey rather than just a viewer. He told me that it makes him feel like he is not losing me, just helping me to become more comfortable with myself.  I was really worried to come out to him at first, because he met me and married me as a woman, but he realized that I am essentially the same person, I just have less filters in my daily life.

I hope that the New Year finds you happier and without so much stress on your mind.