Should I find someone else?

[madirocks]

I have been speaking to this one particular therapist for about six months almost every week. Through the course of our sessions, this therapist has showed up hours late on more than one occasion, or not at all. The majority of our sessions we talk about things completely unrelated to my issues (or that is how I see them). Today I was on time with our usual time, but was told I was an hour late? I guess I just feel like I'm being taken. However, this therapist has been extremely helpful on several occasions, and gave some fantastic advice.

I have a tendency to be too nice sometimes, and I just wonder if it's making this situation bad. Or maybe I am thinking too much? Thing is that I have all ready spent so much money, and can get my hrt letter at any time.

Should I find a new therapist?

[lilacwoman]

your therapist sees you as a nice doormat with money attached.

get another one and make sure you get a card with each apoointmnet date and time carefully noted so you don't have to take any crap about getting it wrong by either side.

[JoanneB]

Get your letter and start looking for new therapist.  Don't cut off your nose to spite your face. Get something you really desire from her/him before dropping them and having to start all over with a new one.

Now you know what you don't want, and what you expect from a therapist. You are in a much better position to spend a few minutes on the phone screening therapists first on those generalities. Just be sure to talk to the therapist and not the staff.

[stldrmgrl]

As said, I'd get your letter and find a new therapist.  Needless to say, your therapist is unprofessional.

[supremecatoverlord]

Your therapist seems terribly disorganized.
And for some reason this concerns me for someone who is supposed to be writing your letter...

Are you sure they know you well enough before you ask for it?
If they are going to write you a letter, your therapist's primary concern should have been your gender history, unless you were seeing them beforehand for separate reasons.
I had a therapist who I saw briefly to talk about my gender issues; I was too young in my state to get a letter, but was hoping that it was possible that she could have one ready for me when the state finally permitted me started HRT. However, she would rather talk about other things and all the good advice/recommendations she gave me were hardly ever followed through on. Like, she said she would get in contact with her friend who was really savvy in this area and that it was likely he could find me support groups, as well as a good place to go when I start HRT. It took about three sessions before she actually got the information for me and during those sessions she would always ask me about things totally unrelated to what I was there for. I stopped seeing a really great therapist I had been seeing years prior just to see someone who was gender specialist; my previous therapist wasn't, but I felt like he still knew more about the community than she did for some reason. I didn't come back after the fifth session because I felt like we were getting nothing accomplished. Months later, I saw someone else and she was amazingly helpful - she also worked with several other trans patients and ultimately was able to refer me to an ARPN to me who happened to also be a trans-activist.

[madirocks]

Thank you all so much for the fabulous advice!

Hopefully I can get the letter from them without issues arising. Is there a time limit on when to use them?

[Sweet Blue Girl]

I don't know if his behaviour is part of the therapy, sometimes strange things are just difficoulties to proof your determination or patience or whatever! Anyway go on, get your things done, wasted time costs so much suffering!

[supremecatoverlord]

Madi-

As far as I'm aware, no.
I'm assuming that you're not planning to get a letter and store it away in your cluttered desk drawer for ten years, so you should be fine.
;p
I probably wouldn't wait more than five years before using your letter though, because I'm assuming there's a possibility that a doctor may ask why you waited so long and ask for you to reevaluated just to be entirely sure. I'm not saying this would happen, but it seems like letting your life go on and experiencing new things would make it more probable that someone questions your letter's relevance in the present if it has not been put on record before that time.

I'm actually sort of guessing here though, because not only do things vary from country to country, province to province, state to state, etc (depending on where you live), but its also highly dependent on what the doctor you see has as his/her personal requirements for HRT treatment.

[saint]

Your therapists behaviour is very unproffesional.  If they are a member of a professional body you would be well within your rights to report them.