The End of a 'Storybook Marriage'...

[Kate]

I told my wife before I married her and explained how I felt.

Me too. Ya just don't think at the time you'd ever actually DO anything about it.

Heck, even driving to work this morning, it hit me like I never realized it before: "Oh my GOD, I'm changing my sex!"

It's... unfathomable.

Transitioning is too damn hard for a myriad of reasons, including the fact that I would never pass, I'd be some 'freak in a dress'.

*Everyone* says that, you know. It's almost cliche. Then they write a book after sucessfully transitioning, saying "*Everyone* says that, you know. It's almost cliche."

but I'd be much more miserable alone.

A guess, at best. You don't know. The evolutionary changes you'll go through while transitioning will/may make you a rather different person, with different sensibilities. You're projecting your current situation and needs (marriage) upon an unknown future. When you get there, I promise you it won't look the same as it does from here.

And you may not be alone.

We are probably going to end up divorcing

IF you divorce, and IF you're going to kill yourself anyway afterwards... why not give transitioning a shot first before you go?

Yes, it's terrifying. Sure, you may never pass and all. But you MIGHT. And even if you don't pass 100%, you may find that you grow a strength during the process that you never thought you could.

So why not try and answer that question first?

Kate

[Melissa]

If I'm in a reltionship with someone who I've been with for 3 years but they know all about it does that put us in the statistic that most TS marriages don't last?

that depends on whether the other person realizes you fully intend to transition, not just how you feel or dress.

*Everyone* says that, you know. It's almost cliche. Then they write a book after sucessfully transitioning, saying "*Everyone* says that, you know. It's almost cliche."

roflmao 

Melissa

[jonnismith]

Having just got my final divorce decree last week in the mail I can speak with some experience. I was married for almost 10 years. I had eluded to my GID but never really came out to her until after we were married some time.
We worked through it all but in the end her infidelity is what ended our marriage.
What you need to do is look  at it as a clean slate, fresh start or whatever you need to. Divorce is not the end, though it may seem like the end of the world, it is not.
Sure I haven't dated or even had sex in over 9 month and she has moved on to a serious relationship. I am sad and happy at the same time. It is hard but just keep going. I am at the point where I do see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I hate cliches but. "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"

[Ricki]

Years after the smoke cleared and i was away from an engagement my ex-finace who is still a good (well hmm decent) friend said in conversation had she been enlightened to all this there was no way she could of gone through with a marriage or relationship or child?  I respect her for that, what she wanted was a husband, a child, a house with a fence.....
Hmmm
life's funny she got a somewhat of a jerk for a husband, a log cabin house they can barely afford, and an autistic child?
Life serves out many cold dishes...
ricki