In a perfect world, you could request, and people would abide. It took awhile for my friends to start calling me by my preferred name, but in the process, I learned that a name is a name. I am not changing who I am, so it really doesn't matter what people call me. I always asked them to just be mindful of pronouns, especially when we went out.
But sometimes you have to make them see that you are serious. I had to endure being "duded" and "sir'd" and "big guyed" for a year as I lost weight. You are going to have to bunker down for the long haul. If you really want to be taken seriously as a woman, start presenting as one. Or wait until you get some HRT under your belt. This is a long, hard, drawn-out process. Be patient, and be safe.
