B4 u knew u wanted a male body, did u feel the need to have a perfect female 1?

[KamTheMan]

I had a lot of body image issues growing up and want to make sure those aren't mixing with my already butch/queerness to cause mixed gendered feelings. When I was in middle/high school I envied the skinny girls with perfect stomachs and thighs. Now I envy guys with perfect stomachs and chests, but that's another story. Can anyone relate?

[supremecatoverlord]

I was overweight when I was younger and then I got put on medication which acted as a metabolic stimulant and an appetite suppressant because of its side effects. I lost a lot of weight and I started to feel less insecure about myself, but then a couple of months later my insides starting talking and were like, "HAY GAIZ, I THINK IT IZ TIME FOR PUBERTIZ". I wish I'd hit puberty much later in my adolescence. I was hardly eleven years old when it happened and the moment I became sexually aware, the more I began to realize how much my body felt "wrong".  I don't think I can relate to you with trying to compete with other girls, because I knew if I wanted to, I could've. Most girls would kill to have porcelain skin, be cute and petite, and still have the sex appeal of a larger chest. I suppose this made me despise myself even more, because I felt like I should be happy with my body, but instead, before I even had the words for it, I wanted to hide it from the world and wished I was built more like a boy. Before puberty, it was much harder to tell the difference and much easier for me not to associate myself with a gender. I'd always done more "masculine" things as a child without being disparaged for it, but was never really told to be that way; basically, I'd never been forced into a conflict with my gender identity before this time. I think to some degree it's harder knowing that there isn't much else wrong with your body other than the fact than it's attached to you. There's a lot of times I wish some "cis-girl" could have had it, because she probably would have appreciated it a lot more than I ever had.
      I don't think wanting to be skinnier is necessarily gender based though. There's a lot more to envy about girls than their stomachs and thighs. Same goes for the stomachs and chests on men. For instance, if I were cis-girl, I would likely find the time to envy a girl's chest as well, unless I was already buxom enough. >_< If this a scenario of purely weight issues, it's likely that you'll be at least slightly envious of anyone who is skinnier and or "more fit" than you are.

[JesseO]

When I was growing up, I personally thought that if I had the perfect girl body that I would be happy...not so much. I even went as far as almost getting breast implants (thank goodness I didn't) and plastic surgery on my nose and chin. 

I look at it as I just have body issues. Plain and simple. Not related to gender or anything else. Before I realized I was trans, I wanted to be the hottest, most attractive, best looking female I could possibly attempt to be. Now that I've realized I'm male...I feel the same way. I want to be the hottest, most attractive male I can be, and I get envious.

[caseyyy]

Yeah. I confused what I wanted with what others wanted a lot, and body was just one of those. I wanted to have no boobs, and a male figure, but people made fun of my chest and body so I felt that 'I' wanted to have big boobs and a girly figure and all that. I did it with clothes as well, I wanted male clothes but couldn't wear them, so got put into these "black women's dress pants and blouse" outfits as a compromise...as time went on I believed that was what I liked, but I truly hated them and to this day can't even wear solid coloured jeans because it reminds me of what I was put in to seem like a presentable, if not pretty, girl.

[insideontheoutside]

Nope. Always felt I shouldn't have any female parts at all and always hated it.

[dmx]

No. I pretty much gave up on my appearance and accepted the fact I wasn't conventionally attractive (although I had potential to be if I actually tried to look feminine). I never felt the need to have big tits or a small body, etc. The possibility that it could happen really pissed me off.

[he who shall not be named]

I can! I was pretty ambivalent about my body for most of middle/high school, but I do remember instances when I'd look at lean, toned girls and think it would be nicer if I was more like them.

Now I look at hot guys and think I WANT TO LOOK LIKE THAT. Not gonna happen, tho.  I always did it to an extent; when I was little I also idolized a lot of male characters on tv/movies and wanted to be them, body and all.

[driven]

No, I've always wanted to be more muscular and masculine-looking. Got my first cheap weight set from Kmart at 14 and have been chasing my ideal male body ever since. I never wore makeup or anything else that might accentuate my female features because it creeped me out to have guys be attracted to me as a girl.

[Kyle_S]

No. I never cared about my body the way a female generally does. The chest growths were just...there- and had to be dealt with in some way. Never took any pride in the fact that I had 'em. I want to be a bit thinner, but that's only because I have always been a chubby kid and am tired of it, plus I wanna lose weight to go on testosterone. I never wore make-up, and I looked rather weird the two times I let my friends put some on me. I look like, for the lack of a better description.....a horribly done drag queen. No offense to anyone, but thats how it is :/

[Jude]

even when i presented as female and didnt think about being trans when i compared my body to other people, i was wayyyy more jealous of guys. i never even saw girls bodies (even really nice abs and stuff) as being desirable.

[Anon]

No. I always had a very androgynous body type (tall and slim) and enjoyed it.
I really liked my body until I was 9 or 10 and puberty hit, then I tried to like it, then I hated it.. Now I'm trying to like it again, which is going well.

[Elijah3291]

nah, I never cared much at all about my appearance. I wasn't really self conscious about things most girls were, didnt worry about my weight or my boob size or my makeup or being pretty.

[Mister]

Not even a fleeting thought.  Instead of contemplating which string bikini would complement my skin tone best, I was busy reading anatomy books with the goal of cutting my own tits off.

[Tossu-sama]

Not in a million years. Now that I think about it, I didn't even know what kinda body I wanted but certainly boobless. I didn't give a damn how I looked, I always wore way too big hoodies and jeans, trying to hide in them. I guess it went okay since I wasn't picked on or anything.

[Nathaniel]

I do remember a very brief time when I really wanted boobs. I was 15/16 and essentially pre-puberty (I had an eating disorder which delayed my puberty) and I really wanted a boyfriend and thought that my lack of boobs was the reason why I couldn't get one. I got over that really quickly and absolutely hated it when they did start to grow.

Other then that, I was always jealous of girls with really androgynous bodies. I guess I still am to an extent because I feel like transition would be a lot easier if my body wasn't the ridiculously exaggerated hourglass shape that it is.

[Natkat]

I where less than 12 by that time,
I do remember trying to look pretty but by pretty it was more to look cool"
I wasnt into make up or anything, remember when we had fashion day in the girl group, all the girls put on make up and so,
I put my hair up and a shalf around my haid and called it fashion"

I had a pretty fine body as young, but still I didnt like it and didnt care much for my look.

now I care alot about my aperance and bying clothes actually got funny.

[Dominick_81]

Nope. Always felt I shouldn't have any female parts at all and always hated it.

Same here.

[Minhuit]

I've always envied the men/boys who had large muscles and their strength. I desperately wanted that strength and to be able to showcase it with muscles. I've never wanted breasts and was lucky enough to have very small ones and thus never actually wore a bra until late high school. I've been ashamed of my female parts ever since I can remember. I can't wait to get rid of them!

[onep1ece7]

I actually did think that I just wasn't pretty enough so tried to girl it up...unfortunately I did end up getting a nose job and implants ....so binding is almost impossible...my body is unmistakably feminine but I look very androgynous now with short hair and no make up..but there was a time I looked like a girl off of playboy...:/ ugh...

[Silver]

Well there are things that are attractive regardless of gender: clear skin, healthy hair, fitness, etc. that of course I would have liked. But anything that made girls attractive because they were girls I wanted no part of. XD The more masculine, the better. Of course, that got harder and harder until I transitioned.

No, never wanted female anything on me, ick.  I did however envy girls who were more androgynously shaped than me, who could have passed easier than me if they wanted to.

Yeah, that's it.