Prioritizing Feminizing Procedures

[Julie Marie]

Someone is just starting their transition and they see listed below (in no particular order) the following things they need to consider doing (assume they have already begun HRT):

1. Male hair removal -
     A. Face
     B. Chest
     C. Back
     D. Other areas

2. Facial Feminization
     A. Bone and soft tissue combination work (FFS)
     B. Tracheal Shave
     C. Rhinoplasty
     D. Skin lift/rejuvenation

3. Genital Alterations
     A. Orchiectomy
     B. GRS

4. Enhancements
     A. Breast Augmentation
          a) Silicone
          b) Saline
     B. Liposuction
     C. Body Sculpting

5. Voice Training

6. Social Feminization Training

7. Other
     A. Hair Transplant
     B. Dental Work

Did I miss any?

I've heard opinions regarding the importance of which to have first, FFS and GRS?  FFS proponents say since people see your face FFS is more important.  GRS proponents say without it you can't fully integrate into society.

Other thoughts:

It's never too early to begin electrolysis.  Beard shadow is a dead giveaway.

You'll never pass if you don't have the voice.

Female mannerisms are very important in passing.

It can all become very overwhelming and for some this might discourage them from transitioning.

So let's say I am just starting my transition and I have yet to take the first step.  Where should I start and what steps should I take along the way?

Julie

[Melissa]

The way I did it is I set up milestones and then listed the thing sI would need to complete in order to reach those goals.  It was something like this:

1. Therapy
Prerequisites:
See GP first
Research therapist
Call a therapist and make appt

2. Start HRT
Prerequisites:
Get a letter from the therapist
     - See therapist for 3 months
Get a doctor for administering hrt

3. Go Fulltime
Prerequisites:
Come out to everybody
    - Come out to family
    - Come out to friends
    - Come out at work
Allow HRT to feminize properly
    - Start HRT first
Facial hair removal
    - Start laser treatments
          - Save up enough money
          - Find a good treatment place
Grow hair long enough
Legally change name
    - pay fee
    - wait for court date
Get ID change
    - change name legally
    - change at SS office
    - Go to DOL to get new license
          - Get therapist letter
                - Make therapy appointment
          - Write a letter of intent
          - Get a copy of current ID
          - Travel
Get new wardrobe
    - Shop for clothes
Get enough makeup
    - Shop for makeup
Get a good female voice
    - Work with voice CDs/DVDs
    - Get tips online
    - Get tips from friends
    - Start voice therapy
          - Get money for lessons
          - Find a good person

4. GRS
Prerequisites:
    - Get first letter
    - Get second letter
    - Do RLT for at least a year
    - Schedule surgery
          - Research GRS surgeons
          - Save up enough money
          - Start talking to surgeons
          - Get a surgery date

As you can see it can get quite complex and you accomplish as many steps as you can do at the time and wait for the others.  For instance, you could immediately start getting clothing, researching surgeons, start therapy, work on voice, start hair removal, etc.  Using this kind of a roadmap, it is easy to see what your barriers are to reaching your goals.  It can be modified or added to as you go along in transition and realize you either need or don't need things.  I hope this helps you out.  It's the way I did it and I was able to go fulltime quite quickly.  Steps that slowed me down the most were waiting on HRT, growing hair out, and facial hair removal.

Melissa

[katia]

Someone is just starting their transition and they see listed below (in no particular order) the following things they need to consider doing (assume they have already begun HRT):

1. Male hair removal -
     A. Face
     B. Chest
     C. Back
     D. Other areas

2. Facial Feminization
     A. Bone and soft tissue combination work (FFS)
     B. Tracheal Shave
     C. Rhinoplasty
     D. Skin lift/rejuvenation

3. Genital Alterations
     A. Orchiectomy
     B. GRS

4. Enhancements
     A. Breast Augmentation
          a) Silicone
          b) Saline
     B. Liposuction
     C. Body Sculpting

5. Voice Training

6. Social Feminization Training

7. Other
     A. Hair Transplant
     B. Dental Work

Did I miss any?

I've heard opinions regarding the importance of which to have first, FFS and GRS?  FFS proponents say since people see your face FFS is more important.  GRS proponents say without it you can't fully integrate into society.

Other thoughts:

It's never too early to begin electrolysis.  Beard shadow is a dead giveaway.

You'll never pass if you don't have the voice.

Female mannerisms are very important in passing.

It can all become very overwhelming and for some this might discourage them from transitioning.

So let's say I am just starting my transition and I have yet to take the first step.  Where should I start and what steps should I take along the way?

Julie

that's a terrific list, julie marie.  mannerisms and [voice] are important.  i've met some people who pass very well [you could never tell] but as soon as they [open their mouths], the [enchantment] is destroyed.

[cindianna_jones]

Wow... you guys can prepare lists?  I'm impressed.  Really. How I managed to get through it all, I'll never know.  I don't think that I planned very well for anything. All I knew was that I needed a lot of money. I worked hard for that and the rest sorta kind of fell into place.

Cindi

[Melissa]

My list was pretty much in my head.  this was the first time I formally wrote it out.

Melissa

[Julie Marie]

I've had several conversations, both in person and online about what steps one should take first.  Assuming one has already gone through therapy and is on HRT I recommend the RLE as #1.  Electrolysis should start after being on HRT for a year in order to be most effective.  (No sense having to fight testosterone fueled follicles if you don't have to)

From there I'd say a person has to decide what is most important to them.  If passing is most important then you have FFS, voice training, mannerisms, etc.  If integrating into society completely is most important then GRS would be high on your list.

There's no one right answer but in general I think it boils down to do you want to look, walk and talk like a woman to the public?  Or just feel like a woman?  The former requires certain things to happen while the latter is a very personal thing.

I guess what I'm wondering is if a friend came up to you and said, "What do I do first to become a woman? what would you say?

Julie

[melissa90299]

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I guess what I'm wondering is if a friend came up to you and said, "What do I do first to become a woman? what would you say?

Julie[/color][/font][/size]

I know what you mean but my first answer would be that I have always been a woman except when I was a girl.

My therapist told me that the first steps should be hair removal and arranging for legal name change.

[Lucy]

Its all good making lists but theropy is no1 priority. Theropists will help from there

[GQPAT]

I'm still early on in this game but basically my timeline has gone like this:

Self-Deny for 22 years (almost 23)

Spend 3 months coming out to EVERYONE (family, school, friends) from september to december

Start therapy january 3rd

Buy my first make-up accessories on january 5th

Start at a new job on january 23rd as Patty where I present female however I dont yet quite pass that well so they don't let me use the women's washroom and I dont feel comfortable using the men's so HR gives me a key to a private washroom (pretty rad if i dont say so myself)

Start anti-androgen february 15th

Start estrogen TOMORROW!!!

Beard Removal some time this summer (after I pay off this years tuition/save up for next years)

Same goes for legal name change

Orhie within the next year or so...not sure how i feel yet about full vaginoplasty...give me time!

Cheers: Patty

P.S. I'm sure there are a million other "steps" I forgot but those are what came to mind right away!