What would you girls do?

[soulsteal]

okay, so it has been a while since i have been on here to talk to anyone, because there is a lot going on in my life and to be quite frank i have not had enough time to think much less type however i digress, i would like to get some advice from people who have gone through the same thing that i have, and see what you think and what you would do in my situation.

okay so here it goes... i told my mother about the way i felt about a month ago and she did not take it very well. she told me that everyone thought i was gay but had know idea that i felt this way she got very angry and told me that i was not thinking about anyone else but myself, however, any and everyone else i have talked to say different they say that i have not been thinking of myself enough. I am 19 years old and have lost 40 pounds for myself reasonably and this had been the first time i could even attempt to be myself i do not want to loose the relationship i have with my mother over being myself. also i have been trying to ease her into me being more myself around her, i have gotten pink bed seats and have done as many girly things as i can get away with. i just bought a my first pair of girl jeans and was wondering if you guys think that that would be a big step or if you think that it may just cause more problems. all i can go off of right now is what i what i want to do and i am trying my best to do it in a way that will not hurt my mother. what do you girls think?

also i know this is all kind of boring however i could really use the assistance and any stories you have to tell me about your family and the way you handled things that might me relevant I would appreciate greatly!

[annette]

Hi Soulsteal

I have read your former posts as well, to get some more complete view about your situation.
I don't know or you will like my advice but I think  you have to move.
it's about time to start your own life.
For what I read, you want to be a girl but you don't want to be upset anyone and especially not your mother.
Well, let me tell you that, your mother has her own life, she must live it the way she feels most comfortable in, actually, the same counts for you.
If you really want to transition, you have to be prepared to lose everything, and I mean everything, if you don't lose everything, it will be your luck, but you have to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
If you aren't able to do that, don't go to transition, it will safe you a lot of trouble.
I'm aware of the fact that the deep rural south of the US is not the best place for transition, so maybe it's time to move over to a bigger city or even another state to make your dream come true.
IMO, the worst thing you can do is find a balance to be some kind of girl and make nobody upset, because than you are doing the things halfway and you will be stocked in transition.
That won't make you happy.
You have those feelings, they won't go away, so, you have to do something with it.
If your mother is angry about your feelings? So be it, there is nothing you can do about beside giving her time to get used to the idea she will have a daughter instead of a son.
If I was walking in your shoes, ( and I did, long time ago) I would move to a more tolerant place, get a job or go to college and make a living, find a gender therapist and follow my feelings.
I know, it's easy to say from a tolerant country in Europe, but, in the time that I transitioned, it wasn't that tolerant.
It's a big step, I know but you need to have a chance to live your own life.

I wish you strength and a happy newyear.
Annette

[fionabell]

As Annette said. See a gender therapist asap! start the ball rolling

[Steffi]

I haven't read your back-story, but:-
1) Life's like a firework - you're only lit once!
2) Your mother had her life and chose to bring you into the world - her main concern for you should be that you're happy.
3) No parent is ever going to say "Oh, ok then"  They will naturally try and dissuade you from such a radical course.  It's not an argument that you can win in one big row.  If it can be won at all then it is by steady determination.
4) Family is a unique thing and not to be thrown away lightly; it's not as if you can nip out and buy another one.
But some are impossible.  If you can't swing them round into support then you will have no choice but to move on.