Am I really?

[Francina]

Wasn't sure wether to add to Amalina's post, but I have always wondered if I was meant to be female. I am now 51 and I still ask the same question. I have lived my life to this point as a hetero male. I can remember being in my early teens and trying on my Mom's things secretly and wondering if I should have been a girl. Is that really crossdressing at that point? Through High School and College because the opportunity didn't present itself I suppressed the urge. The Army, then marriage and three wonderful children and I still suppressed the feelings. I fooled around with some of my wife's things at different times, but would never dream about telling anyone. Now here I am a middle aged what am I?
Kids gone, not much of a marriage and now my urge to be femme is stronger than ever and I want to make something happen. I love the way I am in feminine underware and I like to wear make-up sometimes. I have large man boobs and have never been able to do anything about them no matter how many bench presses I do. No way to tell family or friends without being tossed under the bus. So I guess that's why I am here. Hope I haven't rambled too much. Not sure how to end this, so where do I go now?

[mowdan6]

Hi Francina.  I did'nt start my transition until my late 40's.  I am a transman, but we all go through the same hardships. Possible loss of family and friends.  What it comes down to, is, only you can answer your questions.  If you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you are female, then, no matter what you do to try to cover it up, it will always be there.  And, you will have to deal with it.  And, there are people here that will support you, if you make the choice to transition. 
If this is just something that comes up for you, off and on again, then think long and hard about transitioning.
Transitioning is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life.  It is not something to take lightly. 

[Diane Elizabeth]

Hi Francina,
        I am a few years older than you and am trying to transition myself.  What you said about your history comes very close to what mine is.  Played around as a kid with my mothers and sisters clotes.  Spent most of my adult life in the army.  All the testesarone flying about made it easier to hide.  I have 3 beutiful kids and 6 grandkids.  Married 3 times too.  Current SO is just a business partner in what real estate we own until we can sell it off.   I decided to transition a few years ago, or a least try.  I started with therapy and electrolysis.  I hate to shave so I won't miss the hair regardless of how my transition goes.  I am on HRT and love it.  But it doesn't cure all my problems in life.  Still working on those non tg issues. 

   I question myself everyday about whether or not I should.  It can drive me crazy most of the time.   Am I meant too do thisTossing about the issues of family and friends reactions.  I have told my son a last month.  At least he is still talking to me.   Going to  see a therapist is a starting point for anyone.  Good Luck.

Deidre