This is more of a rant than anything. (I know I'm not online very often, I'm a once-in-a-blue-moon poster. >_>)
I have been officially out of the trans* closet for two years. I've lived as male for one. I've gone by my actual male name, masculine pronouns, have been binding, packing, STPing and wearing men's clothes. My mother knows I bind, pack, STP, etc. She gets me boys' clothes and will jokingly refer to me as "her man" when I'm being more huggy than her boyfriend (who calls me by my male name and masculine pronouns). She's had two years to get used to having a son. My dad pretty much accepted it on the spot. He doesn't care as long as I'm happy with myself.
But I still cannot seem to get it through my mother's thick skull that I want my name changed and have the means to pay for it myself. If I come up short, I have money from a lawyer I can use with her permission. I have my dad's. But without hers it's harder, and requires a whole court case and just makes me look bad for not having the support of the parent I live with. I do not want to graduate high school under the name she gave me, but the only way to avoid this if she continues to ignore me is to get held back one year and change my name when I'm 19, the legal age of adulthood in my state. She uses the "it's a unisex name" trick, but with us being of different religions I can't explain to her that Christopher holds spiritual meaning for me and is not something, as she says, I "randomly picked out". She said she's okay with "Chris", which she doesn't even call me, then says she wants me to keep my very feminine middle name that I have always, always, always been open about my hatred of.
I'm just really aggravated. I had this conversation with her two years ago and got the teary "y don'tchu luv meh" reaction. I had the same conversation a few minutes ago, asking for a change over the summer to minimize issues with school, a change that she wouldn't even need to pay for because whether it comes out of the lawyer's pocket or mine, the money is legally mine. It is my problem. But I need support and I am so sick and tired of being told I need to give her time when I have given her nothing but time, resources, and opportunities to learn. But it's on my clock now.
How do you deal with people like this, especially if you have to deal with them?
