New

[EinBlackwood]

Hello.I'm new.I found this site when searching for information on how to live as the opposite gender.I was born female,but I've felt like I wasn't comfortable with that for a while.I guess the first thing I need to do is find out if I really want to live as and/or become a male.I'm seeing a counselor,so I think she can help me with that.I'm also a bit scared to change because of all of the hate that is out there.If I changed,I'm pretty sure that I'd still be at least a little feminine.So I'm afraid that I'd be beaten up or killed.Anyway,I've read some of the posts around here and this seems like a friendly,knowledgeable community.Gage isn't my given name (obviously),but I've taken a liking to it,so that's what I'd like to be called.I've talked to my mom about how I feel,but she thinks I only feel like this because of something traumatic that happened in my past.I guess that could be true,but I'm thinking that's not the case because the feelings aren't going away.I am 5'5 with dishwater blond hair and hazel eyes.24 years old.I enjoy reading,writing,drawing sleeping,cooking,baking and playing video games.Anyway,I look forward to getting to know some people around here,and welcome any advice that might come my way!

[Devlyn]

Hi Gage, welcome to Susans and thanks for sharing a little about yourself with us. See you around the site, hugs, Devlyn

[Catherine Sarah]

Hello Gage,

Welcome to the warmest and friendliest family on the Web. You sound to be pretty level headed about your approach to your journey. You are right when you say the thoughts just don't go away. You've done the right thing by validating and affirming them, and a counselor who is versed in TG matters is the best choice you can make.

I may be right or I may be wrong, but I've always thought it easier to transition from girl to boy. Although each has it's own unique set of issues. I really hope nothing but the best for you in your journey.  There is a wonderful community of boys, who have "walked the talk," here who are only too willing to share a wealth of experience for you.  Your Mum may be interested in the Significant Others section here. Maybe helpful for her to understand. Keep in contact and let us know how you are coping.

Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[Jennifer]

Hi Gage Welcome to Susan's Place. You are on the right path by seeing a therapist and talking about your feelings.
Good luck on your journey.

Jennifer

[Bird]

Welcome Cage!

[EinBlackwood]

Thank you all for your warm welcomes! You all seem so nice already. Thank you,Catherine for saying that I sounded level headed about my approach to my journey.It's good to hear,because I didn't know what to do and not to do.I think I might have my mom take a look at the SO section.I just feel sort of bad.I'm my mom's only daughter,and I don't want to ruin that I guess.She did say that if I did change to a male,it'd take some getting used to,but she'd accept it.She's really open minded,so she might not have a problem with it.I'll talk to my counselor more about it.I'm glad there are people here who know what I'm going through.Is there anything I can do to see whether this is a "phase" or not?

[melissa.wilkins]

Welcome Gage like Catherine said:

a counselor who is versed in TG matters is the best choice you can make.

Well I think so anyway, I am a MTF, but I still have my dangly bits.

[Felix]

Hi Gage, welcome to Susan's. Feel free to ask any questions you have. This is a supportive place.

Some useful links:

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar/post links and photos)
  
• Age and the Forum
  
• Reputation rules
  

[supremecatoverlord]

Hi, Gage.

[EinBlackwood]

Yes,melissa.I think Catherine was right,too.My counselor is just a regular one.I'm not sure if we have any who are versed in TG matters in my area.Thank you,Felix.I'll take a look at those links. Hi,Jason. ^^ I feel welcome here already.

[Cindy]

Hi Gage,

Welcome and ask way. These things take time and there is no rush or race, so don't panic. Just enjoy the company of people who know what it is like and who will support you.

They are very dear friends.

I use to live in suburb called Blackwood, how is that for trivia

Cindy

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Gage,

Thank you for your comments and letting us know how you are coping. That is such an important strategy in anyones journey.

I'm obviously wrong when I said it is easier to transition from girl to boy.The process we embark on is earth shattering, no matter which way you look at it.

Your Mum, has to be the best Mum on earth, bar none. She is displaying what is known as unconditional love. A very basic but oh so fundamental element of not only parenthood, but our own personal characteristic. If you can achieve the level of understanding to freely exhibit that quality; you have more personal wealth than 10 Bill Gate's

I know how hard these feelings of yours are. It would be much easier if we could tear ourselves in two, one half to satisfy our own desires and the other half to please everyone else. Regrettably, that is not sustainable.

I know how hard it is for you trying to please your Mum. At the end of the day, you will please her most by achieving your desires to be the man you are, with absolute passion, conviction, resolve and fortitude, in such a way, that those qualities not only ooze from every pore of your body, but radiate from you, like a lighthouse on steroids. That will excite your Mum the most. It's not going to be easy for her, but you can help her achieve that goal. That's what a true parent wants for their children.

I hope you can find a TG therapist real soon. Keep in touch and be safe, well and happy
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[Catherine Sarah]

I use to live in suburb called Blackwood, how is that for trivia
Cindy

Hi Gage,
Sorry to hijack your thread, but I just couldn't let this little trivia one go. Here goes, I'll try

Just for the trivia fans. There is a suburb in Canberra that not only has my surname, but it has a street the same name. I've always wanted to, and it's on my To Do list, to rent a house in that street so I can drive the postie mad.

When I lived in Baulkham Hills, I lived next door to a man with the exact name as mine, and didn't that send the postie nuts. He had no idea where to deliver the mail. I think he split it in two and dropped it in the box. My phone number was in the book ahead of this guy, so not only did we share mail, we shared phone calls. His mother was a very old Irish woman who won't accept the fact that I was not her son. Really creates a new identity crisis for an already TG person. I was pleased the day we left.

Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[pidgeontoed]

Welcome, Gage!

I hope you can find what you need here. It's a very good community of helpful people! I am about in the same place as you are, only allowing myself to consider that I am trans less than a month ago, and am having the same feelings about transition. It's a worrisome journey, and definitely full of twists and turns in one way or another. It's good to hear that you have found a counselor, I found it was very helpful to talk it out with a third party before telling more people and letting these feelings out in the world. Worries about transition will definitely make an appearance at my next appointment. I wish you the best as you move forward to decide on your own path.

[Robyn]

Welcome, Gage, and all the other new folks I've missed. (Being busy in Chat most of the time, I don't read as many Forums posts as I'd like.)

Beside our SO group, there is also an excellent news list for parents of TG children at Transfamily. You can find the information for your mom in our Links area at the bottom of the main page.

My husband is FTM. He was going for studly but ended up cute. Everyone loves him and his novels.

Best wishes in your exploration and journey.

Robyn
aka Kamelemanu

[EinBlackwood]

Thanks for the encouraging words,Catherine,Robyn and pidgeon.My mom is really awesome.It would be so much easier if I could split myself in two.I really hope she will be proud of me if I become the man I want to be.No need to be sorry,Cindy.We're all here to chat after all.A suburb called Blackwood.That's pretty cool! I hope my feeling of not wanting to take away my mom's only daughter will go away.It sounds like you have a good husband,Robyn.He's a writer? Writing is fun,but also frustrating at times.

[annette]

Hi Gage

Welcome to the board, I think you're gonna like it here.

[EinBlackwood]

Hi,annette. I like it here already.