So a lot about me. I go by Michelle now, and have been a Michael for 47 years. I have been transgendered since I can remember, 5 or 6. My whole life has been a struggle and I must say very exhausting. My Dad through out my life has always asked 'what is wrong with you?" My parents would often find girls clothes in my room hidden once I started getting an allowance. The fact of the matter is I have never felt like a guy. I failed gym because I didn't feel right and didn't want to participate in guy things, especially the change room. I joined the Military at 17 to try and be a man but still didn't fell right.
After 27 years in the Military I went to my Dr and told him about me being transgendered. He sent me to Dr. Darwin in Ottawa and I was put on hormones.
I met a girl while on hormones and it was just supposed to be for coffee. I told her right away about who I was and she didn't care, I thought she was falling in love with me and I found myself in a situation where someone would accept me for who I was; WOW. I don't know who of you on here can relate, but that was huge to me or so I thought. So after a very short period of dating, 6 months she asked me if I would marry her regardless of who I was. I saw nothing out of the ordinary and said yes.
Three weeks after we where married she tells me that I am turning her into something she isn't and that she doesn't feel comfortable with this whole situation! Well no what do I do??? I went off hormones and back to being a man. During our two and a half years together she kept trying to reinforce who I was and kept telling me that I was a man and that I wouldn't make a great woman. She was trying to change me back to what society sees when looking at me.
After two and a half years of this and the humiliation of her telling people that I am a cross dresser and laughing about how ugly I look as a woman with her daughter I had enough and ended this nightmare or a relationship.
We split up in July of 2011 and because she had no money or very little even though she worked as a waitress we lived together in separate bedrooms, and put the house up for sale. In October we were having an argument over what she wanted. She said that she wanted $40000 or she would tell everybody about whom I really was. I told her that I didn't have $40000 all I could get was $15000 once the house sold. She insisted on the $40000 and I asked her where she thought she could get that kind of money out of me? She said "I'll figure something out" So now I am faced with being outed in a big way because I live in a small village but really didn't care and I told her that.
I then told her I would have her under investigation for Bigamy because I suspected that when we got married because she used two different names, one for the marriage and when she changed her drivers licence over to my last name she used a different last name.
Two days later while she is at work I get arrested for historical assault. She went to the police and told them that I hit her in the car back in 2008 for no reason at all and that she needed me removed from the house because she is afraid that once she tells me that she is separating from me that I would become violent. I was removed from my house and had to stay away from her as a condition of my bail and moved into a motel. I got an attorney which has cost me a fortune plus I maintained the mortgage and hotel costs etc. etc. etc.
I did have her investigated for bigamy and come to find out I was right, she was still married to someone else. I contacted the local police and they would not help me or take a statement nor were they willing to look at any of the documentation that I had. She did tell them that I was a cross-dressing homosexual as well. I went to the police Dept. where we got married and I sent the paper work to them and they were going to the crown with all of this information to have her charged with bigamy. They asked me to go and make a statement at the police where I now live and they refused to take my statement saying I could just email the other police a statement. I told the Detective that and he said that was unacceptable so after two weeks I was able to make a formal statement and have this sent off.
During that time she posted posters all over the village selling all my items and belongings, went to a book store and sold all my books, advertised on Kijiji that she was having a huge moving sale and that everything must go. I phoned the police and asked them to stop this from happing and they told me it was a civil matter they would not get involved. I told them that she committed bigamy and that this was no longer a civil matter but they still refused to help me. I can't help but wonder if it is because she told them that I was a homosexual cross dresser?
Court was scheduled for the 5th of Dec 2011 and one day before court she changed her statement. Since she changed her statement my attorney needed to see the new statement so court was postponed until Jan 9th 2012.
That weekend my ex left the house and took off. I had to go back to court and get the condition of my bail changed so that I could get back into my house which happened on the 13th of Dec 2011. When I broke down the door I noticed that the house was empty of everything I ever owned. I was cleaned out totally other than a king sized bed which she tried to take apart but was unable to. There was lots of garbage, thrown about, the box springs to the bed were missing but she left the mattress and bed in pieces, and a Christmas present on the living room floor with a note. I opened the present and she had a diaper in there??? Probably because I was going to #$%! myself once I saw what she had done. The note said that she didn't care about all the stuff I had acquired before we got together or my Great Great Great Grandparents hand me downs that she was getting rid of everything I ever owned to wipe out my existence. I once again went back to the police and their response once again was we are not getting involved it is a civil matter.
So I am outed big time in this village and at work. People are avoiding me as well as eye contact, and I see people at work pointing at me. One of my bosses did come to me and ask that I do not go public with this and I told him that if I do it has nothing to do with Corrections and that he had no right to make such a statement, he agreed and walked away.
So last week I came out at work as being transgendered and informed my boss that I would be transitioning while employed for corrections and was very surprised at how accommodating they were. I was assured that I would be safe as I do work with inmates, which was a huge relief. I did tell them not to worry about how I would dress because I would be keeping it very low profile but that there will be changes in my appearance starting probably by summer. I have had a very positive experience with coming out totally and I guess I have her to thank for that. I am pretty sure that she also outed me to my relatives because my brother didn't phone me this New Years which he has always done and my parents kept asking me questions about if I shave my chest, my Mom said I needed a haircut I was starting to look like a girl. Not the way I would have liked to come out but it is what it is. Anyway what a relief as I have said before. I do not have to try and be a man anymore with the way I walk or my mannerisms, or what I say. While in the Military I was told that I marched like a girl so I had to walk differently, that I held my cigarette like a girl so I had to change that etc. etc.etc.
Yesterday my attorney calls me to tell me that court once again had to be postponed because she made another two days before trial and this time her statement is 15 pages long so I am not sure when a new trial date will be until Monday now. I did get an email that the other police Dept. at the other place are looking for her but have not found her as of yet.
Anyway I am so looking forward to Michelle and leaving the other person. I might have a funeral for Michael once I have completely transitioned who knows.
Wow what a story. I would love for a news paper to pick this one up.
Thanks for all who read my story and letting me become a member in here.
XOXO Michelle
I just found out my new trial date is set for June 21st 2012, wow. Oh well at least tomorrow I get to see my psychologist to start my journey
