If you have a man's back, can you ever really pass?

[sysm29]

Yesterday I looked outside my window and I saw a group of people and one of them was a guy with a long ponytail.  He didn't have a very big bone structure or anything but I could tell from the back that it was a guy... I had to look for a few more seconds to make sure because the way he was wearing the ponytail was so feminine and he was also wearing tight-fitting clothes so at first glance it looked like a woman.  I've noticed I'm developing transdar - the ability to see gender in ways that others can't.  I can detect it right away - and it only takes a second.

I know that I have a guy's back - I've got a male body though - the shoulders, the neck, the back is a man's - I don't know what I can do about it.  Years ago somebody told me that she didn't think I could ever look like a woman because you can't change the bone structure and I think she meant the back and everything. 

Does the HRT do anything to the bone structure?  Can you really have broad shoulders and a man's back and ever develop a woman's body?  I'm usually obsessed with the facial bone structure but all of a sudden I'm worrying about the rest of my body.  I'm beginning to think that I'll never really look like a genetic woman.

Nina Arsenault, the famous transgender celebrity in Canada, who dramatically changed her appearance after having 50 plastic surgeries, said that she knew after her first FFS that she would never be able to just blend in, so she decided then that she was going to stand out and be beautiful.  So she had all of these procedures and although she looks otherworldly, she is beautiful (imo at least). 

How far do you have to go to get it all?

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Sysm29

Perhaps a somewhat simple answer. Fashion is the clue. If your physique is a concern to you. In the majority of cases, what you wear will determine how people perceive you. Clothes can define your physique.

The other winning aspect is; how you nurture that inner woman into the outer glow. Once you have mastered that art, who cares how many head you have on your shoulder.

I love talking to the supposedly disabled people in our community. they have a richness in their personality beyond comprehension. I often think, they are not the disabled, we are.

Hope this insight helps in some way.

Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[HeatherR]

A lot of what is perceived as "manly" is muscle.  Sure, some bone structure clearly is more dominantly male, but a good portion really is muscle, or lack-there-of.  Many women have large sturdy bone structure...  Dressing to downplay it is the way cisf hide it..

[Natkat]

if its for any help then I can tell one of the girls on my school have a very bourd shoulders.
and my ex bf was pretty maculine and yet I mistook him for a women once I saw him from behind.
(he gots long hair)

[kelly_aus]

Yesterday I looked outside my window and I saw a group of people and one of them was a guy with a long ponytail.  He didn't have a very big bone structure or anything but I could tell from the back that it was a guy... I had to look for a few more seconds to make sure because the way he was wearing the ponytail was so feminine and he was also wearing tight-fitting clothes so at first glance it looked like a woman.  I've noticed I'm developing transdar - the ability to see gender in ways that others can't.  I can detect it right away - and it only takes a second.

Transdar is something most people don't have..

I know that I have a guy's back - I've got a male body though - the shoulders, the neck, the back is a man's - I don't know what I can do about it.  Years ago somebody told me that she didn't think I could ever look like a woman because you can't change the bone structure and I think she meant the back and everything. 

Does the HRT do anything to the bone structure?  Can you really have broad shoulders and a man's back and ever develop a woman's body?  I'm usually obsessed with the facial bone structure but all of a sudden I'm worrying about the rest of my body.  I'm beginning to think that I'll never really look like a genetic woman.

No, HRT won't change your bone structure.. But it change the way it deposited on your hips and bum - actually most places..  And what does a 'genetic woman' look like? In my part of the world, they come in all shapes and sizes - to the point there are some around I have to look twice at to work out if they are 'genetic women'..

Nina Arsenault, the famous transgender celebrity in Canada, who dramatically changed her appearance after having 50 plastic surgeries, said that she knew after her first FFS that she would never be able to just blend in, so she decided then that she was going to stand out and be beautiful.  So she had all of these procedures and although she looks otherworldly, she is beautiful (imo at least). 

How far do you have to go to get it all?

Frankly, I think she looks way too plastic, but each to their own.. It seems some will go to extremes and others will not do much at all.. I think it depends on when they are able to embrace and love themselves..

[Re: Joyce]

A "man's back" has:

     A very muscular upper body.   Hormones take away that muscle and re-shape the upper body.

     A male bottom.   There is no way a girl's bum looks anything like a man's.  Hormones change the general shape of the bottom.

     Male legs.   Hormones change the shape of the upper and lower legs.   Males tend to be bow-legged.  Women have a totally different shape to the upper leg and the lower legs.  Hormones change those shapes.

      A general "Vee" shape, with broad shoulders and a more slender hip area.   Hormones change that to an hour-glass shape.

      I've had a "male back" and now I have a female back.  I have legs to die for, and a real female figure and no upper body muscle.   

     I just saw many photos of an event I attended.  There are some pics of me in the background.  I have photos of me with other women the same age.  I am one of the better looking women in the group.

     If I showed you these photos and asked you to identify all the "men" in the pictures, I'm not sure you could do it.    I know personally of too many transsexuals who have fooled medical doctors.   The doctors wouldn't believe them until convinced.

      Transitioned women don't always stand out, especially if they worked at the transition.   Those who are fashion-conscious and learn how to move, speak and gesture just blend right in.   I know a lot of them who do.

      My own Gynocologist has told me, after a performing a pelvic exam on me, that she'd have never known if I hadn't told her.

      Don't worry about everything being perfect.   Most naturally born women aren't.

[eli77]

Nina Arsenault is a very cool lady, but she was talking about herself and her own self perception when she said she'd never blend in completely - not all trans women in general or you in particular. And she got addicted to plastic surgery, so the quantity of medical procedures is partly do to that. If you want to look like her, more power to you, but no... your back is not going to make it impossible for you to pass, love. Why do you even care if you pass from the back? I've been gendered male a couple times from the back 'cause of my height and short hair and somewhat masculine dress - they were very embarrassed when I turned around.

[Keaira]

Genetic Women also have more curvature to their spine too.

[KillBelle]

I personally feel that it really depends, you must be realistic in your views...what is possible with HRT...and what is NOT possible with HRT. Health factors play a large role, so does genetics, age (starting HRT much later in life provides very little results), finances (can you fund your transition as well as pay for all the necessary surgeries?), as well as realistic expectations (even after surgeries and HRT...you still might not pass), as long as you can accept all these factors and still want to jump into the pool then yes you should transition. The most important factor here is that you learn to love yourself and expect the best and the worse...that way you won't be disappointed.

[NikaPlaidypus]

I agree with all of the above. 

HRT deposits fat in the traditional 'female' areas, reduces muscle, and generally softens your features. 

Wear clothing that flatters your figure in a feminine manner.  If you need to experiment, secondhand and thrift stores usually have a large variety of different styles.  Plus SHOPPING!!  I had terrible taste in clothing for quite a while until I finally figured out what looks good on me. 

Develop feminine carriage, poise, and mannerisms.  It doesn't have to be flashy, but how you carry yourself affects how others perceive you.  Do some girl watching and take notes on what seems feminine to you.  Smile!  If, for nothing else, smiles are usually contagious. 

I know several cisgender women who have broad shoulders, wide chests, small breasts, big feet and hands, and/or other traditionally masculine features.  Nobody ever sees them as anything but a woman.  Quite a bit of it has to do with how they carry themselves and what they wear.