I'm 1 week into HRT and I'm experience great trepidation

[pebbles]

I'd imagine if your motivations are what you say they are then you won't find transition very fufilling or appealing.

Firstly, My sex drive immediately fell through the floor and dissapeared for 6 months it returned later but was much reduced.

Secondly my body or even my mind isn't even close to attributes that I find attractive, Good chance yours won't either. You have an idealized image and that's just not how your body works.

Thirdly... Is jacking off to a mirror really gonna keep you going when things get tough? It wouldn't me... Electrolysis is painful, Rejection from pepole you love hurts, Stigma and hate hurt, Jamming that needle into my leg is painful, isolation and begin misunderstood continually is painful. As most can tell I'm not a ball of giddy joy.
What keeps me going is when I see my arms and legs covered in scars I know I have to go forward because I remeber how before it was so painful I tried to kill myself.

I'm telling you this to warn you. The only real benifit to this whole process is the loss of gender dysphora. Whitch in my story was certainly worth it.

[Cindy]

There is a time in life that we accept ourselves.
It may not be easy.
There will be losses and joys. We accept our decision because we make that decision with thought and preparation.

What is important to you? Not what is important to your twin, your Mum, your friends. What is important to you.

Make it simple.

If you see a child about to be run over and you can dive in front of the car and save it. Will you?

I would try and save the child, not a doubt in my mind.

You in fact face exactly the same decision.

Do you own you or does someone else own you?

Simple but tough.

Cindy

[Ultimus]

I'd imagine if your motivations are what you say they are then you won't find transition very fufilling or appealing.

Firstly, My sex drive immediately fell through the floor and dissapeared for 6 months it returned later but was much reduced.

Secondly my body or even my mind isn't even close to attributes that I find attractive, Good chance yours won't either. You have an idealized image and that's just not how your body works.

Thirdly... Is jacking off to a mirror really gonna keep you going when things get tough? It wouldn't me... Electrolysis is painful, Rejection from pepole you love hurts, Stigma and hate hurt, Jamming that needle into my leg is painful, isolation and begin misunderstood continually is painful. As most can tell I'm not a ball of giddy joy.
What keeps me going is when I see my arms and legs covered in scars I know I have to go forward because I remeber how before it was so painful I tried to kill myself.

I'm telling you this to warn you. The only real benifit to this whole process is the loss of gender dysphora. Whitch in my story was certainly worth it.

What are my motivations? That's something I ask myself everyday. The only sexually stimulating thought that exists for me is imagining myself as a woman, which is why I get so caught up on the term  ->-bleeped-<-. Other than that, I am asexual. Ever since I was 3 at my earliest memories, I have enjoyed wearing women's clothes and have been fascinated by the idea of a boy turning into a girl. For whatever reason, I'd prefer a female's body and clothes to that of a man's. That's just how I am wired. But it's beyond just a sexual thing. I have felt these feelings 1.) when I was a toddler and obviously not sexual and 2.) currently while I have been on SSRI's that have killed my sex drive for the past year.

[Jamie D]

... currently while I have been on SSRI's that have killed my sex drive for the past year.

You need to be careful with that whole class of antidepressants.  You might find you moods pick up with the introduction of estrogen.  Mine did.  It was like a new day.

[Jamie D]

snip

Here's what my bishop told me: "You are a male spirit in a male body. You were a male before you were born and you will be a male after you die." He said I just have been natured and nurtured to THINK I am a girl, but I'm not REALLY a girl. How do you argue with that?

You have posted nothing that would cause anyone to conclude you were raised to think you were a girl.  In fact, it seems your family is dead set against it.

Your bishop seems off base.

You are in a tough situation and my heart goes out to you.

[Jamie D]

I left my home, lived on campus and received an additional 8,000 dollars in scholarships for being an "out of the closet" fulltime transgender person in college. The scholarship would not have applied if I was a dependent or had not transition.

Also, I received a 6,000 scholarship from my school under the Johnson LGBT scholarship fund plus another 6,000 scholarship for academics. I have a surplus of 15,000 dollars a year in pure scholarships (no pay back). After rent and utilities I have 10,000 dollars left. I have I would not have received this if I stayed at home, stayed a dependent, and did not transition.

Of course, I am not saying you should transition and move out because you can get more money...i am just showing you can benefit better than what you think.

Only you need to make your own decision and only you know what is best. I tried your way and I didn't get to transition until I was 35....and even then I took a chance. I find transitioning a lot like planning for pregnancy...no time is a good time. You just need to make that decision.


How would i argue that? I would punch holes all over his fragile and misogynistic theology. I would quote many passages and then break them down.

However, the truth is, I would leave his church because he is a Bishop....he wont be changing his mind anytime soon. I wouldn't stay in a church where anyone would belittle me and try to use the Bible as a weapon.

Invite him over to my church.

The LDS is a lot like my formal denomination I worked for. I left it and went to a more loving church.

Annah, you probably know that LDS bishops are, in reality, lay pastors who have limited formal religious training.

jdinatale is not equipped at this time to face disfellowship or excommunication, with the loss of family and friends that may result.  He's in a tough situation.

[Stephe]

It has gotten so severe and disruptive in my life that I decided to transition because it would be the only way I could ever be at peace. I was tired of living in a secret fantasy land. Now here I am almost a week into HRT and I'm very scared. Scared that I could be ruining my life. You see, there is both a huge chance of reward and a huge chance of failure. My life is now split into 4 branches and I do not know which way I am heading:

Just take the anti-androgen (no estrogen) for a while and see how you feel. This alone WILL lower your sex drive. If your interest in being a woman diminishes, then likely HRT is a bad idea for you.

If it stays the same or becomes stronger, your self diagnosis was wrong.

You can stop taking spiro after being on it a while and you should return to your former state. not sure how long you can be on E and not cause permanent changes.

[Annah]

Annah, you probably know that LDS bishops are, in reality, lay pastors who have limited formal religious training.

Sadly, I agree. It's sad when people take such high religious offices with very little related education.