Wow, that's a lot of captcha.
I need to get some stuff out of the way because most of my searches on the internet turned up some disheartening results. Most everything I found were people who wanted to be in porn, or just sexual fantasies. I hope that when I tell my story, you don't think the same of me. My interest in sex is complicated at best and non-existent at its worst due to some traumatic experiences earlier in my life, but not ones that predate these feelings. The idea of me wanting to be a toy or in pornography is frightening and disgusting.
Sorry, I ramble. To the point, I'm female. I was born female and I identify as female. I can't comprehend the idea of being anything but female, to be entirely honest. But... I don't like having a vagina. Since I was probably 16 years old, I've felt that I should have a penis. All my other physical characteristics would be female, but I would have a penis. I've told this to a few people and they treat it as if it's a fetish thing, but it's really not. I don't get sexual excitement or gratification out of the idea, but rather the sense that that is how I'm supposed to be.
And I don't know what I am. I don't know what I'm supposed to be or even what this is called. When I look online, there's so few resources or even indications that anyone else experiences this, so I'm here, hoping that somebody on this board understands what I'm going through.
I apologise if I posted this in the wrong forum, but I'm really at a loss as to where else I should go.
