Making the Call Tomorrow, the First Step

[pidgeontoed]

Hi All,

First off, I wanted to say thank you to Susan for hosting such a great place to gather and talk. If not for this place I probably wouldn't be making this call tomorrow.

I recently found a gender therapist in the area near me who came on a good recommendation from a google search ( ) and am going to call to see if I can set something up. This is new to me, have never really spoken to any sort of professional before, not even for my past depression. I've always been one to "ride it out" but in this case it seems like that is definitely not going to work. So, naturally, I'm a bit curious, a bit excited and a bit worried. Was wondering if I could get some advice from those who have experience with these sorts of meetings, so I am making my first thread! (Yay me!) Here's what I'm thinking of off the top of my head:

What can I expect for the first day to talk about? Should I bring anything?
I don't have a lot of money, and probably can't afford regular sessions, but is there generally a "free evaluation" or something? Should I ask?
I haven't said the word "transgendered" aloud in reference to myself to another person. Do I just need to be told to suck it up and go for it?

The main reason I want to do this is that I want to talk it out with someone and be sure that my transgendered feelings are what I think they are before I think about coming out to the people around me. The questions that will be asked during that conversation are ones I probably don't have an answer to yet. I'd imagine she'd want to get to know me specifically at the start and I'm not sure how exactly to do that. I was thinking of printing out my introduction post on here and letting her read that, then go from there. This is the first step, so it doesn't bother me too much that I'm nervous. I've been happier recently now that I have identified my feelings with myself, so I can only hope that it will get better from there! Thank you all and have a good night!

[lilacwoman]

start by saying ' I think I'm transsexual and need to know about it'  that puts the onus on them to use their training and experince to help figure yourself out.

[pidgeontoed]

Thank you. I just made an appointment for two days from now. Would it be a bad idea to bring in a written story like the post I put on here to get information out quickly? or just let the meeting flow as it goes on. I have to pay for this out of pocket (no insurance ) so I want to maximize my 50 minutes as much as I can... I realize that probably not a lot can get done in that short time, one session, but I'm hoping that talking to an indifferent third party individual will help me talk to more people and work through it.

More precisely, I guess what I am looking for with this session is to get enough figured out for myself so that I can talk to my mom about it and see if she would be willing to help with the session fees. She's always been very supportive of not only me (I'm her youngest, the baby ) but also the LGBT community in general. I'm so nervous though!!

[Embla]

My understanding is that your therapist probably wouldn't read anything during the session - it would have to be before or after.  Unless maybe you wanted to read out a prepared statement.


Your therapist is probably going to try to get to know you, but everyone is different.

Writing can organize your thoughts and feelings though, and make you more prepared.  Writing helps you learn and prepare to speak about it. Maybe you ought to write out why you think you might be transgendered, or why you may have reasons to doubt yourself.

Don't stress over it and try to have faith that it will go well.

[Jennifer]

Be yourself.   Be honest and truthful.   Start writing down any questions you may have so you don't forget to ask them.

Your courage to take the first step is inspiring.

Good luck on your journey and keep us posted.

Jennifer

[lilacwoman]

start with the 'I think I'm transsexual'  then have a list of questions about how you can progress. 
You need to know her experience in dealing with others and how quickly she moves them onto the different stages or steers them away, whatever.
make sure you ask about fees and number and spacing of sessions.

you'll forget everything when you sit down...but don't worry.   

as soon as you get out of session sit down and write down everything you can remember and all the questions and thoughts you should have asked about but didn't so you know what to ask next time.

[pidgeontoed]

Thank you for the replies and the well-wishes. It's a bit exciting, a bit scary and a bit nerve-wracking, but in all, I'm glad it's happening. I just need to slow myself down, when I get nervous, I tend to talk way too fast without thinking

you'll forget everything when you sit down...but don't worry.   

Haha, that is so true! I guess I always knew what to expect: me blanking out

[pidgeontoed]

I just realized I forgot to add an update here!

Went to see her on Wednesday and man, I could not stop talking. Didn't bring anything with me, but I had written a draft letter to give to my mom to come out, she suggested that I do it in person which, granted, is probably the more respectful way to go. She said she would read it if I brought it in next time. I think I got everything out that I wanted to and she gave me some really good advice. My goal was to talk about coming out and how I should handle that, especially with the holidays coming up. She gave me the courage to go come out to my mom, which I'll be doing this Saturday f i can get her alone for enough time. This is usually pretty easy, and I know she'd make time to listen to me. Very excited to be moving forward. Thanks everyone!

[Diamonds_Pearls28]

Well best of luck truly! You kind of seem like you are in a similar situation as myself except I can't seem to even get my hands on a decent therapist but I am actually still debating how to come out to my parents because there is just no way I can see them taking this well no matter how I explain it. Heck even if I had a letter from Freud himself diagnosing my GID my parents would call him a quack and try to have me committed. Then again I'm starting to think my transition is going to be seriously delayed due to my financial situation so unless a miracle happens and I can get my parents to help out with the costs I'm screwed. But I am very happy for you that you've been able to get the ball rolling.

[Korra]

Here's to hoping things go well.  I'm trying to go back to therapy myself here in the next few weeks.