Yesterday something happened to me that I am still feeling bad about.
I was hanging out with my cousins, 14 and 16, and it seems that I did a girly gesture in front of the girl, 14, and she started making fun of me. It came out of nowhere and I did not expect that she would make fun of me for it. I am not out to anyone in my family (I live in a very conservative place and showing any signs of femininity would be very dangerous) so I really wanted to tell my mom that I was feeling bad about it but I cannot because my mom knows that I have gender identity issues and she told me that she never wants to hear about them.
I ignored her all day but the thing is that we have a family gathering every week and I would have to see her every week. I also don't want to make a issue in the family if we keep on quarrelling.
I was panicking about it all day yesterday. It also reminded me of the nasty things the guys at school used to say.
I told her that I was upset that she said something earlier in the day and she was like it seems that I took something personal and she didn't think that she said something wrong.
It is tough to think that I cannot be myself in front of her again.