newbie wants to know how to build up the courage...

[UndercoverTurtle]

Hey! (sorry if this post is a little annoying) I've been stalking the forum for a while but this is the first time I've posted, so I'm a little nervous. I think I'll introduce myself before asking my question. I'm a few days away from my next birthday and live 20 minutes away from Portland OR. I've felt like a boy for as long as i could remember but didn't think it mattered till i was 8 and learned about transsexualism. I ended up pretending to be a 'girly girl' for years, but recently ended my facade. I haven't decided my new name yet, although I'm hovering around Marcus, or Marshal.

I've come out to my closest friends and younger siblings (they are only one and two years younger then me), and that was easier then I thought. Although I haven't told my older sister or dad.  I tried coming out to my mom when i was 8, but learned she HATES transgendered people and ended up trying my best to be girly :/. Well it doesn't matter anymore because she died of cancer 3 years ago...

---------> anyway, my little sister is trying to force me to come out to my dad by my birthday. That's FOUR days! Its stressing me out. I know for sure I'm a boy, but my moms words against transgendered people are freaking me out. And i don't want to stress out my (accepting) dad.


              Every time i try to tell him I freak out inside and retreat without thinking. Any advice on how to get over my moms words and the stress and just tell him?

[Tazia of the Omineca]

Magic and Hope obviously.

No I'm kidding, my advice would be to blurt it out in the least elegant way possible!
That's because that's what I did though, it went over better than expected, and well no sense in listening to people who don't really get it at all.
You can really only tell him, and having your sisters there for support will help, have them there with you.

[UndercoverTurtle]

Magic and Hope obviously.

No I'm kidding, my advice would be to blurt it out in the least elegant way possible!
That's because that's what I did though, it went over better than expected, and well no sense in listening to people who don't really get it at all.
You can really only tell him, and having your sisters there for support will help, have them there with you.

That's how i told my lesbian friend! I guess that would be the  easiest way to do it, no having to do an awkward build up before hand.

Your very pretty by the way.

[Z7Z]

Yeah the best way to say it is to just say it. Don't bother with any long introductions or preambles, just say it. From my experience, not only is it easier for you to say it to whomever you're coming out to, but it's also easier for them to hear because they aren't anticipating a million different bad things (i.e., that you're about to confess to a murder, etc). I've come out to a lot of people and the reaction has always, without exception, been better when I've been very straightforward and blunt about it.

So I think the main thing is to tell them you're trans, make sure their idea of what that means is accurate (some people have very strange theories about what it means to be trans), and (if they're close to you, or you feel comfortable discussing this with them) let them know you'll answer whatever questions they have about it.

[Max]

I agree that just saying it is the way to go. If you are feeling very nervous you can try to write your feelings down and read it off. That will prevent you from blanking out completely and it is also how I came out.

I know you say your mother's words are hovering over you and you're apprehensive as a result, but you can never know how other people will react to what you have to say until you say it.

[anibioman]

congrats for coming out to your siblings. as for coming out to your dad im not so sure how to help.

you might want to write a letter because its easier to organize your thoughts and make sure you say everything you wanted to plus he cant interrupt if he is reading a letter. it also gives him a bit of time to come to terms with things before he sees you so he can collect his thoughts. when i came out to my dad i was supper scared and i blabbered for like 30 minutes and i honestly think he barley understood me it was a long process for him to accept me and get over that whole loosing a daughter thing.

as for the name i like marcus a lot better then marshal. when anyone ever says marshal i think true grit and the show justified, both are about u.s. marshalls.

[UndercoverTurtle]

Thanks guys. I'll think I'll just blurt it out the next chance I get. I have tried to write a letter, but i cant try to get it to come out well like i want it to.

Yeah I like the name Marcus better too, but for some reason everyone i know hates it .-.

[Tazia of the Omineca]

That's how i told my lesbian friend! I guess that would be the  easiest way to do it, no having to do an awkward build up before hand.

Your very pretty by the way.

It works and gets the message across without it being misconstrued.