Coming out to friends and family Androgyne style.

[Kendall]

I wanted to get away for one post I been doing the past few weeks.

To revisit a topic we sorta talked about long ago in the  "How do you explain to others how you feel when you feel between genders? "
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,5514.0.html.

With newer people now coming to the site and the last post there was Sept 29 of 2006.

Coming out as Androgyne to those you know: friends, family, coworkers, strangers.

For someone who has felt androgyne all their life, or even one newly discovered to Androgyne, eventually may come a time when talking to others becomes a issue, or even a priority. When its time to make yourself known to the people that know you, and that dont know about that part of you.

For a person that is a full-time androgyne (where your gender expression is public constantly), this is not as major of an issue. Even then, you may have to explain yourself to some inquiring minds.

What are some tips to coming out to others?

I will start with some of my own.

My Experiences

My gender expression is somewhat mixed on a daily basis. Long fingernails, thinned arched eyebrows, androgynous and male shoes, androgynous and male shirts, male pants, sometimes mascara and foundation, lip moisturizer, hair growing a bit longer in back, both ears pierced and wear pink earings often, male watch, small breasts, sometimes facial hair . So this now is how people I know and meet in person see me on a daily basis.

When I have come out to people at work, I preferred showing them a picture of the female side of me in full attire. That leads to asking me why I do that, how often, and such. I then get to answer questions instead of having to think up of what to tell them. I can control it somewhat by dropping hints and such in the answers to their questions or elaborating a bit.

To my distant family, all I had to do when I first came out was to tell my mother. My mother being the constant communicator that she is, tells everyone. I did this over the phone and in a email.

What other hints do you have, questions, advice, or comments on coming out as an androgyne? Or what fears, obsticles, or worries do you have if you havent?

[Shana A]

I originally came out as transgender to my family and various friends starting in 1993. I generally still come out as transgender since more people have heard that term than androgyne. If asked to elaborate, I tell people that I feel neither male nor female, but some other unidentified gender. It's only been in the last few months that I've identified as androgyne... I'll probably start using that word more.

Because of work, I don't always present as feminine as I might prefer. Even so, I've found that the vibe or way I hold myself is noticed on subtle levels, I still get mam'ed by strangers even when unshaved and wearing jeans. At one time it was extremely important to me to present as female, and it might be that way again at some point, but what seems most important to me now is simply knowing who I am.

zythyra

[ChildOfTheLight]

I don't use the word "transgender" for myself, mostly, since to most people it means "I want to be a girl."  Well, I feel like a girl sometimes, but one who is fine with having a male body, partly because I know that later I'll feel like a guy, or like both at once, and partly because I just don't have a problem with it.  It just doesn't feel wrong, the way some people here and elsewhere who identify as MtF have described.  Usually.  The exceptions are rare, and they pass.

My mom knows I'm an androgyne, by which I mean I've told her and tried to explain.  But she probably doesn't really understand.
Some of my friends know, and they understand to varying degrees.

I don't try to present a feminine or androgynous image for its own sake -- or a masculine image, for that matter.  I wear what I like and I act in ways that are natural to me, and if that's the impression people get, then that's the impression people get.

[Kendall]

Wow talking to my mom on the phone right now. She says she bought me a pink Kitty cat stuffed animal when I was born. And I had a blue baby suit.

Didnt know I had pink and blue right at birth.

She says she saw me in a 'vision' that way, btw.

Not that I believe in that part. Just weird.

[nigno]

I have tried to keep 'coming out' to a minimum of family and close friends who need to know.
I find it difficult to explain to 'them out there', so I hide behind my bike leathers... all of which are female... this gives me the figure at odds with my voice. However  if they ask I can excape by being a teacher/educater
possibly telling lies is good

Nigno

[andy6432668]

I don't present myself as Androgyne I always wear female clothing alot of time tanktop with bra underneith even at work but I don't try to pass as female never had a problem.

[sparkles]

i was really interested in this topic, as it is somethnig that is worrying me. i have told some poeple before about my transgender and now have to go back and change that. i havent told my mum i dont think she`d understand though maybe it will just come out the more i settle in to how i want to be. i sometimes feel that i want to have a big party to say look ive found myself yay. but that would not achive much really and i did lose some people before that i have just got back and dont want to do that again. though i do feel happyer telling people this than the ->-bleeped-<-ing thing. i will probably wait and see if people notice.