Quote from: Annah on January 29, 2012, 11:01:23 PM
I knew of the same situation in Washington State that happened around 2006.
Why I am a big proponent of telling your partner than keeping it a secret.
My wife was outed about 2 weeks ago in a way that neither her or I expected was possible (by government; and, yes, her identity documents are fine, her name is different, and she moved; and, yes, what this government agency did was illegal, but it was done nonetheless; finally, no, I won't give details because my wife's privacy is important and even giving slight details beyond what I've said above would violate that). It was sad to see, but it didn't hurt our relationship since it isn't anything that I didn't already know. No matter how much someone thinks they've hidden their past life, it's just plain impossible. I was glad I was able to help her through that (as you can imagine, this garbage can be very traumatic, especially when you think you've got everything covered).
Other people try to hide their past, such as criminals - but even clever criminals get caught. Some get lucky and get away with it, but it's more to do with luck than anything else.
In the US, not disclosing can open marriage up to legal challenge. It's seen as a deceit by courts, and reason for a "for fault" divorce (which can affect things like who gets shared property, custody of kids, etc). No matter how much in love someone is, I'd still think it to be wise to legally protect ones' self.
That said, as for someone getting away with not disclosing, I'm sure plenty of people have done exactly that. But of course it would be hard to know who has done it, because if they are successful then nobody would know! You would have to cut off all ties very effectively to your past, and I would think that would mean never confiding in anyone about your past (including telling them you are getting away with it!), cutting off past friends, not posting online about your past, etc. So how would we know if someone managed this, unless they were outed?
