curiosity

[josh22]

Hi, my name is josh. For many years I have been intrigued by the idea and by people who are transgendered.  I personally don't understand the idea although wish no ill will nor have any conflict with transgendered people.  I would just like for someone to try in the best way possible to explain things to me.
Warmest Regards,
Joshua

[spacial]

Hi Josh.

How it feels:

You know when you paid for a film ticket and it's the wrong film?

You know when you get on a bus or train but it's going the wrong way?

You know when you order one dish but the waiter brings you something totally different?

You know when you mean to walk to the burger stand but walk into the lion enclosure by mistake, at feeding time?

You know when something is so completely wrong, yet you can't think of how to tell anyone?

That's the easy bit.

OK?

If you want to ask for more. Please do. Most of us love talking.

[King Malachite]

In my personal experience the best way I can describe it is having a 100 piece puzzle of cat but one piece is wrong and it's of a dog instead but someone takes a hammer and smashes that dog piece into the puzzle to make it fit until it just eventually tears apart.




Or in simpler terms.  My body doesn't matches my mind.

[Bishounen]

From earlier having viewed it as being an actual curse, I nowadays see it as a gift- almost a blessing, in fact, as it have enriched my life in ways that would not have been possible in the same way, otherwise.
If I had not been gendervarianted, I would not had been Me.

[Shantel]

Neither do I and I am transitioning from male to female (MTF). I have no idea WHY other then I have to do it. Have you ever had a tune in your head that you cannot get rid of or something that you cannot stop thinking about - it just keeps you awake night after night and consumes your every waking thought? It is like that until you start to transition and then you can finally get some relief.

Beverley

It's all of that Josh, I relate most to Beverley's response and it never goes away. It's like having a tune in your head repeating constantly all night and you can't get to sleep. You wake up and it's still there day after day. My spouse once asked my counselor about my gender identity dysphoria, her reply was, "It's extremely complicated!"

[Rabbit]

Ooo I am good at explaining things This is all just how things are for me, so, keep that in mind.

For me, I have always been a bit different than other guys. The thing is, it was nothing drastic. I just felt like doing other stuff. When you pick up a video game and are picking your character (with a lot of choices) you tend to pick stuff you identify with or admire.. . how does it feel? Basically, you just pick what you think it cool and works for you.

This is like anything really. Why is one persons favorite color blue? And another persons favorite color red? How does it feel to like blue more than red?

But, well, the things I liked weren't just limited to video games or stuff I wanted to do. These feelings were also towards my body.

Have you ever felt like you wanted to get buff? Like you wanted to work out and get some nice muscles? Or have you ever wanted to lose weight to look a bit more fit? Or maybe have you ever looked at your beard stubble after a couple days of not shaving and been "dayum, I look good", and then purposely put off shaving for a couple days now and then to get that look again?

How does this feel? Why do you want these things?

Basically, we all have some ideal of what we want our bodies to be like. And, male or female, everyones idea of "a great body" (for themselves) is a bit different. One guy might want to be mega muscle gym body. ..and another guy might really like the sleek swimmers muscles . .or maybe the guy just wants to be a little heavier and rock a huge mountain man beard!

For me, I like the slimmer and smaller feminine body  : ) why? Well, there are lots of possible explanations (such as having a certain hormonal exposure in development), but.. .really we (as a society) don't really know (then again, we don't know why people prefer different colors either). When it comes down to it, there are just a ton of different types who like a ton of different things .. .I just happen to be a "male" who likes feminine things.

But, it goes a bit beyond just physical. It also goes into mental differences (I have a LOT in common with women, even sexually). Why? Well, again, there are just a ton of different people and tons of variety in the world . . .I just happen to have this combination. There are guys who are shy, guys who are brave, guys who are the typical "manly man"  . ..and guys who , well, are more feminine. My combination just happens to have a heck of a lot of "feminine" aspects , combined with my preference for feminine body .. .

Of course, there are people out there who are close to me. They might have a TON of feminine mental aspects, but really love their male body (and even go to the gym to bulk up!). I have met some gay guys who fit this exactly. And, well, you can find examples of all sorts of mix and matches.

So, what does it feel like? It really doesn't feel like anything. I just like certain things that other guys don't. What does it feel like to like beer? I like diet coke. ..I really hate beer, but I get that some people just like it ~shrug~

When I saw what hormones could do, I jumped on it : ) Some people hit the gym and work their bodies all the time to move closer towards what they want .. .some people get plastic surgery . ..I just take a couple pills

There are a lot more issues (like social interactions and presentation and blab la bla) , but this is basically "what it feels like" Just feels like me, and feels good to be able to chase after it : )

[Gretchen]

What's your angle Josh? I see a motive for the question, what is it?