Coming out... to your local convenience store clerk!

[Devi Ever]

So, I'm still pretty much in the early 1/4 of my transition... been on hormones for two years... gotten facial hair removal... dress in androgynous clothers (sometimes leaning towards feminine), and I go by my female name with my current friends, work associates, and everyone new I meet... not to mention I'm very open about my transition.  I still have yet to work on my voice because as androgynous as I've become thanks to hormones, hair removal, and my new wardrobe... I still feel like I lean more towards the male side of the spectrum physically rather than female... mainly because of my facial structure.

Anyhow.  I have lived in the same area for a year now, and have gotten to know, on a very casual level, my local convenience store, video store, and postal service clerks... and it has occured to me multiple times that there will come a day that I'll show up en femme... and... well... what exactly _that_ experience is going to be like?

I mean... it might sound funny... but as far as social concerns go, it's going to be a cake-walk with the people I'm close to when I make that leap from androgyny to feminity, because they KNOW what I'm going through... but what about these random people who know me... but don't really _know_ me?

In the end, I know I'll deal with it how ever it comes, and it'll be all good in the end... but I'm just kinda curious if anyone else has been "concerned" about this part of transition and social relations... and for those who have crossed the gender line... what were your experiences in these small little everyday mundane social instances?

:')

devi-

[stephanie_craxford]

Hello Devi, me again,

My experience has been that the business community doesn't really care who or what you are as long as you're are giving them money for their services.  But on the other side some really take an interest, or are really accepting. 

One example I have is that we used to go to this restaurant every Saturday morning for breakfast for the last 4 years or so.  This was before I transitioned and went full time, we didn't know how the waitresses, and staff would react so we stayed away.  One evening my wife was with her mom and went to the restaurant for supper, seeing her, the staff all asked where we had been and why we didn't go for breakfast any more.  My wife simply said that we had moved to the country and couldn't get in any more (we did move to the country)  Anyway the next day my wife went back to the restaurant and told the senior waitress the real reason we didn't go any more.  Her reaction... as my wife started to explain my transsexuality to her, she stopped my wife midstream and told her not to worry about such things, and to get ourselves back to the restaurant.   So the next Saturday, we went for breakfast and we got quite a reception from the staff.  They were all so happy to see us and each said how nice I looked.  We went brought each of them a bouquet of roses, as a token of our gratutude.

A longish story but what the heck, I haven't had a bad experience yet.

Chat later,

Steph

[Cassandra]

Dittos on what Steph said.

I had been buying cigarettes and gas at a convienence mart down the street from us for about six months. In the community I started wearing a little makeup here and there. Then got my ears pierced. Then started carrying a purse and culminated with full blown en femme. The folks at the mart were never rude or in any way critical. When I showed up full enfemme. They greeted me and called me sweetie and honey etc. I live in the south so yes this is the way women talk to each other.

They hired a new guy who saw me coming in for weeks. One day he said he wanted to ask me a personal question and asked if I was trans. He said he had not asked before because he was unsure. A compliment of sorts i guess, after all he did have to ask. The other attendant, who knew me, looked daggers at him for even asking but I was nice and answered frankly and the other attendant seemed relieved smiled and gave me the come back soon have a nice day type good bye.

Point is like Steph said they are in business and don't really care and sometimes they are really accepting and supportive in their interactions even brief ones. It's the regular people on the street you have to worry about. They are the ones who have no vested interest in being nice. You should really not worry about the merchants. To date I have not had a single problem with any store I have been to and many knew me when.

Good Journey,

Cassie