I give up. (Please help me :()

[El Capitan]

I can't take it. I really can't

As well as a lot of other ->-bleeped-<- happenings, today I had to argue with a barber about not being a 'lady' point blank was refused a haircut even with me saying over and over again i wanted a men's cut

I'm really done with this ->-bleeped-<- guys. I want out. no, I NEED out

I'm in pieces and nothing can be done

I'm at risk and nobody will know. Hell, at least it would save a lot of explaining. 

[Bishounen]

I can't take it. I really can't

As well as a lot of other ->-bleeped-<- happenings, today I had to argue with a barber about not being a 'lady' point blank was refused a haircut even with me saying over and over again i wanted a men's cut

I'm really done with this ->-bleeped-<- guys. I want out. no, I NEED out

I'm in pieces and nothing can be done

I'm at risk and nobody will know. Hell, at least it would save a lot of explaining.

Sue.
Sue them and  put a file of Complaint on them for Discrimination, and regardless of the outcome, I can guarantee you that it will make you feel better as they now atleast will have learned not to pull crap like that to people in the future.

As for yourself, you need to become a Man-Bitch and train yourself not to let anyone mess with you in any way, and if they do, it will come with consequenses.

[GentlemanRDP]

That's ridiculous,
Completely, utterly ridiculous.
If I were you, I'd be pissed.
And honestly, if suing is an option,
I'd do it. Take that guy to the cleaner's for being a prejudice ass-face.

[nickm1492]

I am so sorry. That is wrong on every level.  Please stay strong. There wil always be ignorance in this world. Let this make you stronger. Not break you down. If you give up, he win. Ignorance can't win.

[Beth Andrea]

*hugs*

I haven't been accosted like that yet, but the times I've gone in for haircuts and brow trims ("make my brows look like a woman's"), I was expecting this kind of struggle...

"But you're a man!"

"I didn't ask you what I was...I said I wanted a womans' haircut/you to make my brows look like a woman's."

If they refuse, go elsewhere. Don't argue about your "status".

And yes, if possible...I'm sure there are lawyers who will take this case with no fees up-front.

[El Capitan]

thanks for all your kind words folks

unfortunately I'v just done something I swore id never do again  it involves sharp scissors, I'm sure you could work out the rest  I'v taken some diazepam and I'm going for a snooze, dunno how long for but meh

[Bishounen]

Go elsewhere. I would not waste a minute on that barber ever again. Make sure you tell all your friends about him.

Beverley

In fact, telling all of his friends about the Barber, may be a very good idea, actually.
Send all the transgenders you know to that shop specifically, to insist on having haircuts.

And ofcourse, don't forget to ask those friends to advice their friends, too, in turn, so that every transgender in town is sure to pay the shop a visit.

[King Malachite]

That sucks man I'm sorry you had to go through that.  I say tell everyone about that guy.  If I were him I'd give you the cut.  Money it self has no gender.

[karmatic1110]

I had something similar happen to me.  I went and asked for a specific feminine haircut and they took it upon themselves to cut my hair into a short boy cut.  I looked like Spock for a month and basically had to detransition.  I know it's not the same but it's frustrating when you give someone simple instructions and they outright refuse or go all passive aggressive.  I'm sure you can find someone to do it, although that doesn't make what this person did right.

[Natkat]

I can't take it. I really can't

As well as a lot of other ->-bleeped-<- happenings, today I had to argue with a barber about not being a 'lady' point blank was refused a haircut even with me saying over and over again i wanted a men's cut

I'm really done with this ->-bleeped-<- guys. I want out. no, I NEED out

I'm in pieces and nothing can be done

I'm at risk and nobody will know. Hell, at least it would save a lot of explaining.

yeah I have tried that as well,
Transpeople have to deal with alot of ->-bleeped-<-, and theres this point in every trans life where you will face them all in all sort of ridiculous ways,
sooner or later we learn to act in the situation and not let them get to us.

[Ayden]

We all slip sometimes. I tried to quit 3 times before my current run. Once lasted nearly a year.

Doesn't mean anything beyond you slipped. Doesn't change the fact that you were strong enough to go without for a good long time. Doesn't mean you can't stop again and beat your last record.

And, seriously, <not allowed> that hairdresser. You need to go to a queer-friendly place where they aren't going to judge or care or whatever. Don't stand for that ->-bleeped-<-.

^The lady said it all for me. I wish I had some amazing words of comfort to offer, but all I can say is I know the feeling. Hang in there.

And yes. F*** that barber. I hope he stubs his toes.

[El Capitan]

thanks again everyone for the support etc. I'm sorry I'm too frazzled to take the time to reply to each of you personally but bro-hugs to all (or lady hugs for the ladies)

This is kind of a more indepth summary of stuff:

I had a meltdown this afternoon (still very volatile now and plus a few extra new cuts to heal) Bascially I have been feeling very low (even more so than normal) and today thought that I'd pop in to a new barbers to get my haircut. Went in and asked if they had any available appts to be told very bluntly that it was a men's barbers and was it for a guy? I said well, I'd like a men's haircut as normal and the guy argued again saying that it's only for men and they don't do ladies hair. Went off to see his boss and i was stood there thinking nah, I'm not giving them business if they say yes so just left.

Absolutely fuming. I know I don't pass very well but that was just a kick in the teeth.

I still don't know what to do with myself tbh I'm very much on edge and it could go either way tbh


I'm just ->-bleeped-<-ting myself as I have cuts to hide and I'm in clinics tomorrow where no short sleeves are allowed. Oh dear

[caseyyy]

To hell with him. There are hundreds or thousands of other hair people out there who will be glad of your business. Just go round until you find one and then get it cut as you please.

Agreed. I can understand how horrible you must feel, but don't hurt yourself over that ->-bleeped-<-. He's obviously ignorant, and cares more about his ignorance than his customers or business.

[Darrin Scott]

Since the barbershops around you seem to be run by ->-bleeped-<-s, have you thought about going to another kind-of salon or hair cutting place? I know that going to a barber can give you a manly feeling, but honestly, lots of guys go to other places besides barbershops. I don't know where you live, but I live in the US and I've been to both hair cuttery and even the hair place in wal*mart and have gotten manly cuts in both places. I'd shop around different places. Someone else besides a "barber" can give you a manly cut.

I'm sorry that happened to you, though. I only pass about 30% of the time and am ma'amed CONSTANTLY! It's something we all work through. What helps me is thinking to the future and what I'll be in the future. You won't be at this place forever. Don't give up hope and keep pressing forward. Don't let the ->-bleeped-<-s of this world win. Hope you feel better. Hang in there.

[Rock]

Not too sure what to say other than stay TRUE to YOURSELF.  One step at a time bro.

I cut my own hair with clippers but instead of the usual front to back crew cut, I cut from the base of the neck up over the head toward the front with a number 3.  This gives a short back and sides cut rather than a crew.  Can easily be fixed with a crew if stuffed up but it's fairly easy to get the hang of.  Takes about 5 to 10 minutes now that I'm used to it.

[chan2011]

I have hairdressing issues too, I plan to just get dreads and let it be for awhile. I know it can be frustrating though, but try to not let it get to you. They had no right to insist that you are ANYTHING (as it is none of their business how you identify and it isn't like they can control it). Find an accepting hairdresser and screw them!

[Kreuzfidel]

I'm sorry you were treated that way.  Do you have a local LGBT advocacy group?  Maybe they can help you sock it to him.  I cut my own hair because I'm too afraid I'll encounter an ->-bleeped-<- like that.

[Bishounen]

thanks again everyone for the support etc. I'm sorry I'm too frazzled to take the time to reply to each of you personally but bro-hugs to all (or lady hugs for the ladies)

This is kind of a more indepth summary of stuff:

I had a meltdown this afternoon (still very volatile now and plus a few extra new cuts to heal) Bascially I have been feeling very low (even more so than normal) and today thought that I'd pop in to a new barbers to get my haircut. Went in and asked if they had any available appts to be told very bluntly that it was a men's barbers and was it for a guy? I said well, I'd like a men's haircut as normal and the guy argued again saying that it's only for men and they don't do ladies hair. Went off to see his boss and i was stood there thinking nah, I'm not giving them business if they say yes so just left.

Absolutely fuming. I know I don't pass very well but that was just a kick in the teeth.

I still don't know what to do with myself tbh I'm very much on edge and it could go either way tbh


I'm just ->-bleeped-<-ting myself as I have cuts to hide and I'm in clinics tomorrow where no short sleeves are allowed. Oh dear

I just have to ask; Where do you live, exactly?
It sounds like the South East orsomething? Or is it somewhere in the Bible Belt, perhaps? If so, then that would explain it.

Anyway, to begin with, you should start by really, really tell every TG you know about this place.
Put up adverts everywhere about these Saloons and describe them as TG-friendly and create a folkrush.

Secondly, do you have any Equality and Human Rights Commission where you live?
If so, turn to them right now and ask them what you got on your feet in this matter.

I know that you right now are in a "Nah-Screw it" state, but I guarantee you that that strategy will only make you feel worse, if you do not atleast try to do some action on your own behalf.
If it turns out that you cannot do anything about it, fine, but then you have atleast done something for your own Dignity.


As for your cutting... Well, I think it's simply a really stupid idea and I would rather advice you to get drunk or something.
Atleast that way you will not get a bunch of scars other than on the inside.

[Ryno]

We all slip sometimes. I tried to quit 3 times before my current run. Once lasted nearly a year.

Doesn't mean anything beyond you slipped. Doesn't change the fact that you were strong enough to go without for a good long time. Doesn't mean you can't stop again and beat your last record.

And, seriously, ->-bleeped-<- that hairdresser. You need to go to a queer-friendly place where they aren't going to judge or care or whatever. Don't stand for that ->-bleeped-<-.

This.

Forgive yourself for doing it. I made the same mistake a few months ago, and yeah my roommate's made fun of me for it once or twice but you did it to keep yourself from doing worse things. Not a good crutch to rely on, but don't let it hold yourself back just because you slipped up.

And I would take as many transpeople as I know and go to that barber to demand a haircut. Then sue based on discrimination if he puts up a front and straight up denies service for the obvious reason of not wanting to serve transpeople. Business gives a service for money, not picks and chooses who to serve. In his own house, yes, he can decide not to serve you. In a business, he can't.

[N.Chaos]

We all slip sometimes. I tried to quit 3 times before my current run. Once lasted nearly a year.

Doesn't mean anything beyond you slipped. Doesn't change the fact that you were strong enough to go without for a good long time. Doesn't mean you can't stop again and beat your last record.

And, seriously, <not allowed> that hairdresser. You need to go to a queer-friendly place where they aren't going to judge or care or whatever. Don't stand for that ->-bleeped-<-.

Man, a screwup is just a screwup. Its not a huge, cataclysmic failure (even though it feels like that, I stopped for two years once and then cracked, hard) its just...a bump. And considering the BS you put up with, I think its actually pretty impressive that you didn't do worse.

and yeah, with everyone else, to hell with that guy. You should see if you can't make a friend who'll cut your hair, or try it yourself. Its really not as hard as it seems. I don't know how long your hair is right now, but unless its long as all hell, doing it short and choppy is quite easy.