I felt the same exact way. When I first found out I was trans, my whole world came crashing down and it seemed like the spot light focused down to just me being trans, which is still that way. I have always felt like I was misplaced and even a disgrace (which is what I told myself for feeling the way I did, if only I could go back and tell that little kid that everything will work out just fine, I don't think that way anymore thankfully). Everything seem to have happened so quickly, it was hard to grab a hold of everything.
Right now I'm waiting to hear back from my doctor and my previous therapist office to get my T letter, and I'm having the same feeling all over again that I felt when I came out, like I am uncertain but I am pretty sure I am just scared and nervous for the future. My life doesn't seem real what so ever, like my life is made out of plastic almost, and I am hoping for that to change once I start T some time soon and connect more with myself physically. With all that put aside, I know coming out was the best decision I have ever made and with what I went though when I as little, things can only look up for me.
Going back and putting together all the little bits and pieces, I have no doubt that I am trans.
Just give yourself some time, it is a huge step and relief to be out and accepted with people you are close to. Transitioning is terrifying and gratifying at the same time, you just have to work through it one step at a time with your own pace. The way I see it, it is like soup. At first when you mix all the ingredients together, it seems odd as if it is missing something and you are not sure if you like it or not, but then if you let is sit for a couple of days, all the ingredients mix together and absorbed all the other juices and you know for a fact that it is great soup. If that made any sense at all.
