B4 u knew u wanted a male body, did u feel the need to have a perfect female 1?

[Kyle_S]

I have already said that I never desired to have the "perfect" female body, but I am just lost in my own thoughts at the moment...it may be TMI, but since "downstairs" is not even quite normal for a female, I actually am feeling a little bit weirder about my body lately. Its like my body decided it didn't want to be a "normal" female either, despite my genetics. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather have a penis...but knowing I'm not "right" either way...sigh.  Nothing earth-shattering, just strange and disconcerting. Gah. Anyway, thats my tired rant for the night :/

[HarryP]

Yes, I didn't want to have a girl's body but because for ages I wasn't even aware one could transition, I wanted to make the best of what I had and be the prettiest girl I could be. I was always bullied at school for not looking "right" - I was short, slightly overweight, had muscular legs and more hair than is thought right on girls because of my PCOS. So when I went to uni, I made a conscious effort to straighten my hair, put on a bit of make-up, wear tighter clothes, so that I would be considered pretty - and it worked, from the outsider's point of view. Inside, however, I always felt like I was in drag and would always yearn to look like my male friends instead. Now I quite enjoy the freedom of going birdwatching or working out without worrying that I look a bit nerdy/sweaty and minging with no make-up, but I am also really enjoying the new style possibilities of men's clothes and can't wait to have the male shape to fill them!

[CaptainFantastic]

Yeah, I remember people say that my body was 'athletic' meaning, too muscular, or not
girly enough! 'Heavy bones' is another one of my all time favourites!
Up until I was 14/15, I was rather chubby, then lost a considerable amount of weight and
from then on pursued the dream of becoming a pretty girl/woman and attract the guys
attention; but never felt like ME! I came hate myself for it, but couldn't help it, I never knew
that you could get good results with hormones and stuff at that time; thank God we all
know better now, and the internet has put an end to the isolation and lack of info and the
whole thing is if not normal, at least more obtainable. It's not a dream anymore.
I was always a keen horserider, so ballet, figure skating or gymnastics were never my hobbies,
thus I couldn't embarrass myself too much there
When I was 17 or so, I saw a movie (a restored version of Lawrence of Arabia) and totally fell
in love with Peter o Toole (he's an old fart now, but boy, did he look gorgeous in 1962! I saw the
film in 1991 though, so I'm not that old;))) but not in a girly way, and that's when the 'trouble'
started, ditched the boyfriend (he never knew what hit him, poor sod!), ditched the girly clothes,
cut my hair and never regretted it....still got old pics of myself as a 'pretty woman', even let my
hair grow a couple of years ago but found it far too fussy to maintain...

[caseyyy]

I came hate myself for it, but couldn't help it, I never knew
that you could get good results with hormones and stuff at that time; thank God we all
know better now, and the internet has put an end to the isolation and lack of info and the
whole thing is if not normal, at least more obtainable. It's not a dream anymore.

It was a serious revelation when I realized what hormones could actually do! I had no idea.

[Andris]

There were times when my classmates (mostly boys but often those so-trendy girls too) told me I was somehow.. weird. Not a boy, not a girl. That/it. Forcing me to wear baggy, large T-shirts to hide myself, my hairy female body: so I remember certain moments when I wanted to live my life - on this or on that side. But finally I ended up like I did not want to own a perfect female body. Because my ugly voice, moves, mimics and body language would betray the picture. All tries - all are useless.
(Erm, then I've always created male avatars, charas... because envied the male body shape, hips and shoulders a bit.)

[Alexmakenoise]

Being physically fit is important to me, but I've never wanted a perfect body.  Imperfect bodies are more interesting.

[Alien.]

Same here.

Same. I never wanted a female body at all... I didn't think I was attractive, but I hated my body, so I kind of... gave up on it. Didn't care. Felt ->-bleeped-<-ty about it but at the same time, was convinced I was just stuck.

Afterthought:
There's nothing wrong with being a trans guy whose comfortable with his body parts, though, before anyone reads this and thinks "oh well I'm abnormal" or something, you're not. As long as your identity is 'male', that's who you are, regardless of whether you want surgery or not. :]

[King Malachite]

It's hard to say because I always felt I wanted a male body even since a very young age but I surpressed it and did want a skinny tall  female body to fit in but at 5'4 and 200 plus pounds with no will power to loose weight at the time I just slipped the perfect female body to the back of my mind and thought more about the male body I wanted

[fatalerror]

I hated having a female body since forever, but I also went through a small phase in high school in which I forced myself to accept that because I could never be what I knew I was, I'd do whatever I could to please everyone around me. Which was, of course, looking as "pretty" as I could. All it did was send me spiraling down into a deep depression though, and it was such a relief when I stopped fighting what I was. I felt like I was living someone else's life the whole time.

[wesxx]

I remember I wanted nothing more but to look like an androgynous pretty boy all throughout high school. I was partially out to myself then. I probably would've come out if my mom hadn't ingrained in me that men were sexist or hairy or total slobs - things that were quite unappealing to me. Anyways, I was always trying to convince myself that I could be a pretty girl who still acted like a dude instead. And I was pretty in a very natural and unforced way. It was totally wrong for me though. Plus I still get to be pretty like I wanted to, hah.

[malinkibear]

Perfect, not really. But I did enjoy having a big chest, curves and being told I was pretty. I was popular with the boys, and I did a lot to keep it happening even though I was always uncomfortable with myself. I guess I've always had a pretty big vain streak

[LordKAT]

Nope. Always felt I shouldn't have any female parts at all and always hated it.

me too

[onep1ece7]

@ captainfantastic, you should post your pics in the pre transition pics blog , keep it alive...lol...

@ caseeyy yes once I saw my first youtube video and saw the changes a guy could make, i was like i want some I know I look femme now but with T I can become rough around the edges...thanks to the pre transition blog and youtube videogs I have seen guys who were once very femme like me become very masculine...though i do want to keep some femme touches like guyliner and longer hair

[geek]

I had no idea I could transition, then once I did know I didn't have the courage to come out or actually do anything about it, so I basically trashed my female body, morbidly obese, cut myself etc. I was in a pretty bad shape, once I came to accept that I could be me, and I did have the strength to go through transition and the terror of coming out, I'm trying to reverse the obesity, but the scars will be there forever, but hey, live and learn just have to push myself and I'll be a happy boy!