I went to a new doctor for the first time to discuses hormone replacement therapy, so they did blood work and told me that they would contact my previous therapist's office to get my profile and what not to get the letter saying that I'm good to start it. But the reason why I went to the doctor in the first place because said therapist kept stressing (as well as my previous doctor) that I had to be 18 to start hormones (im 17), which i think it is more because they don't want to be part of it/responsible. I am currently waiting on a response from the doctor saying that they either did or did not clear it with my previous therapist, which is making me really nervous. The new doctor (as well has his other staff) treat many transgender patients, which is why I went to him instead of my previous doctor who has no experience. I'm worried that for some reason they will tell the doctor that I should not under go hormone replacement, the therapist never really understood being transgender is like since he was clearly inexperienced despite his claim, and was obviously not very concerned towards what I want/need and he focused more on my inability to make new friends. and when I did finally work up the courage so tell him that I wanted to start testosterone, his reaction was more "no way no how". He wanted me to tell him how much I knew about the process, and when I was explaining it, he interrupted me and stated ".. and you want me to write you this so called T letter?" while pointing at himself in an astonished, outraged, and not to mention sarcastic tone as if he was purposefully waiting for the chance to say that. It only took two years of my life to realize that this guy is a worthless, piece of crap.
Right now my mom is the only one in my family who actually accepts and/or supports me, everyone else doesn't acknowledge the fact that I am transgender and constantly using female pronouns, my extremely feminine birth name, as well as stupid comments such as "heeeyyyyy girl!" to me while I am wearing a tux. She is helping me to get started on hormones because she knows it is what I want, but while in the car she told me that I had to hide everything from my family. I don't know if she meant the stuff to do the injections, the fact that I would be taking testosterone, or both. you can't really hide it for long, plus I don't see them very often so each time I see them they would notice changes. I'm worried to how my family will respond to it, fyi these are people that told me that I am like this because I let demons inside of me because I had lost faith from not going to church in forever. where as I stopped going because I was fed up with being in an all pre-teen girl sunday school class and being told that I am an abomination.
I am freaking out, especially since I am going to start college where no one knows me except for being a guy, so I really need/want to start T as soon as possible, plus I don't have any experience as being someplace where they only know me as a guy. I don't want to tear up my family over me, some of my family members harassed my mom and insult her parenting which is plain bs, and my dad and sister don't want anything to do with me in public and they are constantly making homophobic and a few transphobic slurs.
My life used to be divided into two, one being at home and the other at school. I HATED the school part, I was harassed like theres no tomorrow. But then I came out and everyone is accepting of me and I can finally be open to other people. I used to love the home part, but I dread it so much. I can't wait to live at school.
Sorry about the length, I had a lot to go through. I know many many people have gone through similar, if not the same situations, I could really use some advice or tips about doctors and therapists and getting on T, being stealth at college, and family issues. In case your wondering, the college places people in dorms based on gender identity, so the rooming situation is not a problem at all.
