Last Thursday, after a drinking binge the night before and under unbelievable stress form my increased demands at work, I expereineced a severe panic attack (at work) My boss called 911, all my vitals were fine, so I had a friend drive me to the hospital to get a full evaluation, I talk to my therapist (a PhD) who referred me to a psychiatrist, I had already decided to try to get help with chemical depencies, I was also hooked on prescribed Ativan, which is similar to Valium and very addictive.
So Monday, I began an outpatient detox program, it's one of the best things I have ever done. Not only I am getting sober and help for some of my issues but I am getting 100% disabilty for six weeks and a reduced amount if I have to stay on the program later.
Today, they separated the group by gender, so I attended my first women only therapy session. It turns out, two of us had very similar issues. The other women had been grossly over weight all her life and men ignored her. She (I will call her Sue)lost all her weight (She still retained quite a bit in her bust though!) and all the sudden she experienced men hitting on her for the first time, she related how she had difficulty dealing with it. I expereinced the same type of thing after I had my FFS and lost weight.
There were only three of us in the group, two of us talked about getting back into our artistic pursuits, Sue said she was envious of both of us because she didn't have any talent or interests to pursue. It felt good to hear a woman, especially a beautiful woman like her (she is gorgeous!) say she was envious of me! But just being in a woman's only therapy session was cool...we were encouraged to talk about things, we wouldn't talk about with the men. I felt a total confirmation that I had entered the inner circle.
Anyway, I have three days clean and sober, eight days since I had my last drink, I don't have any urge to drink or use any drugs, I am not getting much sleep though, but that will pass.
