Disclosure post/during transition

[poptart]

Just wondering, if you have begun medical transition and you 'pass' to others, do you ever disclose the fact that you were born the opposite sex? If so, why?

I know people do this, but not me. There's a girl I know who's really activist-y and supportive of LGBT stuff and I was going through tons of dysphoria last night but I couldn't bring myself to tell her. I just can't think of a more uncomfortable experience than disclosing this piece of information.

[Felix]

I often disclose in order to establish that I am the parent of my child. My custody documents are in my old name, as is of course her birth certificate. Lol plus she's pretty sped and prone to occasionally announcing it herself.

[Nygeel]

I've been transitioning for awhile but still feel to disclose right away as I'm not seen as male.

[Felix]

Also sometimes disclosure is relevant to dating and sexual relationships.

[poptart]

Also sometimes disclosure is relevant to dating and sexual relationships.

Oh yeah, of course. There are situations when it's necessary such as when legal documents are required, and in sexual relationships. I forgot to say that I meant disclosure to friends or acquaintances.

[Kreuzfidel]

I don't have any friends, so no.  I disclose only when I have to (e.g. - the Australian Department of Immigration and Citizenship).

[Adio]

No, I never disclose if I don't absolutely have to.  Right now, the only people that know are the "need to need" ones.  Family, old friends from pre-transition, old faculty/staff members from uni, my therapist, some doctors, and my exes.  Other family friends and coworkers of my mom know only because she gets asked a lot about a daughter she doesn't have.  It makes it easier for her own sanity to let a few trustworthy people know.

Other than those people, I only plan on telling future partners and some doctors.  I can't think of anyone who would need to know.

[Devin87]

I often disclose in order to establish that I am the parent of my child. My custody documents are in my old name, as is of course her birth certificate. Lol plus she's pretty sped and prone to occasionally announcing it herself.

You just called your kid sped?  Does that mean something different where you're from?

[anibioman]

im not on T yet but i pass all the time i never disclose to friends unless im in a situation were im suposed to be getting naked or something of the sort.

i enjoy being stealth.

[Felix]

You just called your kid sped?  Does that mean something different where you're from?

It means Special Ed and is an easier way to put it than listing her diagnoses and difficulties. And it's slightly less crass than comparing her to Ralph Wiggum or Hannibal Lector or some of the other things that I can think of.

[Felix]

Oh yeah, of course. There are situations when it's necessary such as when legal documents are required, and in sexual relationships. I forgot to say that I meant disclosure to friends or acquaintances.

Okay yeah. Sorry if I came across as patronizing, then.

I never disclose if I feel like I don't have to.

[N.Chaos]

Never. If I'm ever to make a new friend, I probably would, but otherwise no. It helps that I've don't have much of a 'real life', though.

If I'm stuck going to the doctor, I'll tell them what to call me, to lay off any of the miss/ma'm BS, but I'm not going to sit there and try to explain it to them.

[caseyyy]

I have no plans to disclose to anyone other than lovers post-transition.

[schism]

following transition, i don't see why we should feel the need to disclose our biological history with people we meet.  societally, we don't expect people to start explaining to us what operations they've had or how they got a scar or what medication they take, or the details of their birth or how they had an extra nipple removed... or to tell us they've got x amount of inches in their pants or their bra size.  i don't feel like it's any different disclosing that i'm trans.  it's private, and unless it's necessary in an official capacity or out of respect for a potential romantic partner, no one needs to know. 

[Darrin Scott]

I'm very early in transition, but I plan on only disclosing to lovers and close friends. The world does not need to know.

[Make_It_Good]

No, I never disclose it to anyone, unless it comes to a point where I HAVE to (e.g employer doing a crb check)
   Ive always been stealth, and when I met my now girlfriend, I knew things could lead to the point where Id need to tell her as our friendship had perfect potential to develop into more. I was sh*tting it when I had to tell her! No, I think thats actually an understatement :p
I was so nervous.
I absolutely hate to tell people and for them to know this fact about me. As to me, all it is, is a fact, an unfortunate fact for me. As, while I think it is great for people to be proud to be ftm, I dont have this confidence. I dont like to indentify as trans, so being stealth is all I want.

[Hayzer12]

Only when it NEEDS to be told. My name is not changed legally yet, so it has to be told to some.

[TraciMC]

I hope I'm not intruding, but I just wanted to say Make_It_Good that I totally relate to the sentiments you expressed, as they parallel my own, concerning my own life situation and identity.

[he who shall not be named]

I'm totally pre-transition right now, but I think I would be open about it in certain spaces. Not like "telling everyone I meet" open, but I'm very activist-y in the LGBT community on my campus, and I intend to continue that activism when I graduate. Disclosing would make sense for me in such situations. 

But who knows, maybe I'll completely change my mind and go stealth.  There's always room for change~

[Felix]

I'm totally pre-transition right now, but I think I would be open about it in certain spaces. Not like "telling everyone I meet" open, but I'm very activist-y in the LGBT community on my campus, and I intend to continue that activism when I graduate. Disclosing would make sense for me in such situations. 

But who knows, maybe I'll completely change my mind and go stealth.  There's always room for change~

You can do both if you don't live in a small town. I'm politically involved, and there are contexts where I'm very out, and others where I'm not.