Job Dilemma Of Sorts

[Noah G.]

So I think I need some advice...

I've been working on getting my life in order and if all goes well I'll have my Associate's (finally) in the spring of 2013 with plans to transfer, ideally by fall 2013, in order to get my Bachelor's. This transfer would involve a move (which I'm looking forward to), which would require, at the very least, a second job in order to afford to be able to transfer. This is the point at which I need a few thoughts...

The best lead I've found yet is a position as an assistant manager where I was working before my current job; this would offer me better pay (both on an hourly basis and per paycheck), more hours, a much shorter commute, more experience in what I'm getting a degree in...but there are some cons.

   •   There's still about four people working there that I used to work with and only one of them knows that I'm trans (i.e. I would have to come out to some people and I have no idea how that will affect things with employees who don't know me from when I worked there last).
   •   It's much closer to where I live and also much closer to where I go to school, so there's concern about family popping in and using the wrong pronouns and name (especially given that they apparently can't get them right even on Facebook, where the only account I ever use is as Noah) or classmates stopping in and hearing the wrong pronouns or name. Especially if my five-year-old nephew, who I have no idea what all he's been told, is in with someone...
   •   Basically I'm worried about all of this going to ->-bleeped-<- and blowing up in my face by being outed -- I actually like school and I'm doing really well because I'm Noah there, the only place except online where I'm called that (I know, I need to be more assertive in that regard, but that's a whole other subject).

I considered just putting up with it all until I transfer and can be living about three hours away from anyone who might use the wrong terms, but the fact that I'm going to school with the right ones complicates matters in this instance. That and I want to get my name changed before moving -- I've put that on hold because I don't plan to transition where I'm at right now. A part of me doesn't want to do this for fear of major fall-out, but another part of me recognizes that I should probably take that chance as this could be my best shot at continuing on a forward path and putting some money away to be able to transfer and move...

I imagine this is probably a straight forward thing: just bite the bullet and do it. But...I've been feeling kind of off lately, I guess, and could use some support or a kick in the ass or whatever people are willing to provide. Advice as well if it's to be had.

[nickm1492]

It seems like your mind is made up and you just want a vote of confidence! The other job sounds fantastic! You should do it! If someone from your family used wrong pronouns just act like they are crazy! You need to do this for you. So you can move on with your life. Everything will work itself out! Good luck Noah

[Noah G.]

Thanks, Nick And I think it is something like that -- either needing the vote of confidence as you said, or else being told that I'm crazy. This job has the potential to be something really good for me, but it means I would have to accept more risks than if I kept looking (minus the risk of not finding something else, of course). But it also has the potential to blow up in my face like so many other things. Part of it is that I'm hesitant to risk what I have going on in classes, I know.

I had left the place previously because I was not happy there at all, but it really had nothing to do with the job itself or even customers at all, it was just not managed well and I did not feel appreciated at all (feeling as though I were passed up for a promotion twice did not help matters either). But none of the previous management is left, so maybe there's a chance it'll be a little different. Maybe. That or I am crazy. But right now it'd mean a better paycheck which might be the ultimate bottom line here.

I guess I'm just finding it hard to justify turning away from an opportunity to, basically, advance (even though not in the same company I'm in now), especially where all I would need is management training since I still pretty much know everything else, but I'm also struggling with tipping the scales, so to speak. Because there are reasons going through my mind as to why this could be a bad idea as well...and I am having reservations...

But, again, thank you -- I'm still having reservations but that does not, by any means, mean your vote of confidence and encouragement is not very much appreciated. I just need to kick myself to commit to a decision.